For laughs

Public forum for topics that don't fit into the other categories.
startpoor
Posts: 193
Joined: 22 Nov 2013, 13:43

For laughs

Post by startpoor » 19 May 2015, 13:08

http://m.imgur.com/wcZ8rXs

I've been a little negative lately, so I thought we could do a thread on the positives of this document, which outlines missionary requirements for prospective missionaries in this stake in Utah. I'll start:
Women allowed to get Eagle Scouts
Emphasis on mental health



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Happiness (n.) The state of being in compliance with Mormon norms, regardless of one’s actual resulting emotional state

George, Sr.: Faith is a fact. No, faith is a facet. I almost said faith is a fact.

User avatar
nibbler
Posts: 4520
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 07:34
Location: Ten miles west of the exact centre of the universe

Re: For laughs

Post by nibbler » 19 May 2015, 13:28

Keep in mind, the thread title says "for laughs"

Image
Go serve a mission for some other church.

:angel:

And apparently their stake will be stocking the field with attractive missionaries, so that's a plus.


In all seriousness. Do. Not. Like. "If thou lovest me" is being used in the wrong context (imo). People can serve the lord in other ways that aren't serving a mission. That line felt like a guilt trip.

In their zeal to raise the bar they may be setting people up for the aforementioned mental/emotional problems... for the people that end up serving a mission and the people that do not.

Besides, I've got to think that if I were a young man that was on the fence about serving then this list might have pushed me firmly into the "no thanks" category. Some of those hoops can be tough for people to jump through, people that would be excellent missionaries.
Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.
— Hippocrates

Roadrunner
Posts: 890
Joined: 25 Sep 2012, 15:17

Re: For laughs

Post by Roadrunner » 19 May 2015, 13:51

I loved the warrior missionary comment at the top. Although I have to say that I hope they give our missionaries AR-15 style automatic weapons because AK-47 weapons just look mean, and let's face it a certain religion starting with an "I" uses AK-47s. Maybe the Sisters can have a softer side and simply carry an elegant dagger. Maybe the name tags can have military titles too instead of the boring Elder or Sister.

I also like the effort to weed out missionaries by subjecting them to 2 years of Preach My Gospel training before they even submit their application. That will definitely increase the quality of missionaries.

If i were stake president, my requirements would be:
* Must be able to carry a normal conversation about anything non-church, scouting, or video game related for a minimum of 10 minutes without me wanting to punch you in the face.
* Must have kissed at least 2 people of the opposite sex.
* Must be able to answer the question "would you rather grow a fu manchu or have a tatoo of a mermaid on your bicep" and give a logical reason why.
* Some college level education strongly encouraged.

User avatar
DarkJedi
Posts: 7317
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: For laughs

Post by DarkJedi » 19 May 2015, 14:12

As the father of three sons (one on a mission, one preparing, and one in high school) I can't even begin to imagine the battles I would have were I to try to get them to go to two years of weekly mission prep classes.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roy
Posts: 6217
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: For laughs

Post by Roy » 19 May 2015, 16:05

The document states that you must not be infected with pornography

I liked this comment offered below.
I came down with pornography once, it laid me up for weeks but fortunately I beat it off.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

User avatar
hawkgrrrl
Site Admin
Posts: 3537
Joined: 22 Oct 2008, 16:27

Re: For laughs

Post by hawkgrrrl » 19 May 2015, 21:43

Awesome sauce. Srsly, I totally want to do a snarky post on this, which I will do because it's so easy to write. I would replace the first guideline with "No fatties." Which is honestly what a lot of 70 have traditionally preached to spinsters. This set of guidelines certainly applies there also.

User avatar
DarkJedi
Posts: 7317
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: For laughs

Post by DarkJedi » 20 May 2015, 03:58

hawkgrrrl wrote:Awesome sauce. Srsly, I totally want to do a snarky post on this, which I will do because it's so easy to write. I would replace the first guideline with "No fatties." Which is honestly what a lot of 70 have traditionally preached to spinsters. This set of guidelines certainly applies there also.
Dang, that means all those "sweet spirits" who used to have to wait until 21 won't be going at all.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roy
Posts: 6217
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: For laughs

Post by Roy » 21 May 2015, 09:59

To be fair I think they may be setting these new standards for "warrior missionaries" and not for all prospective missionaries. It may be a motivational ploy - to create a level of missionary that is super exclusive. Give the over-achievers something to shoot for.

In my mission the AP's gave a lesson on how the top 10% of missionaries behave. Then they taught about the power of making goal oriented covenants with God. Then they asked all of us to sign a paper saying that we were covenanting to be the top 10%. I left without signing. Then I realized that I had left my gloves and had to go back. The AP's cornered me and asked me why I hadn't signed the covenant/pledge sheet. I explained to them that if all the mission pledges to become like the top 10% then I foresee a lot of broken covenants around the corner. I did not want to toy with my covenants in this manner.

They told me that they needed/wanted to present this paper back to the MP with the entire mission's signatures and that I could sign but not make a covenant with God. This I did to get them off of my back.

So at least in my case the leadership (AP's) were attempting to motivate and inspire the troops while looking good to their superiors at the same time.

I can only speculate that something similar might be happening in Bloomington.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

User avatar
nibbler
Posts: 4520
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 07:34
Location: Ten miles west of the exact centre of the universe

Re: For laughs

Post by nibbler » 21 May 2015, 10:26

Roy wrote:I explained to them that if all the mission pledges to become like the top 10% then I foresee a lot of broken covenants around the corner.
Like say around 90%?

You could have gotten out of it by claiming you already were in the top 10% and you didn't want to set a goal that was beneath you. :angel:
Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.
— Hippocrates

Roadrunner
Posts: 890
Joined: 25 Sep 2012, 15:17

Re: For laughs

Post by Roadrunner » 21 May 2015, 11:42

Roy wrote:To be fair I think they may be setting these new standards for "warrior missionaries" and not for all prospective missionaries. It may be a motivational ploy - to create a level of missionary that is super exclusive. Give the over-achievers something to shoot for...
It's very possible you're right about this. My thought was that some zealous high councilman presented this during stake PEC meeting and nobody wanted to slow it down so it gained some momentum and is now the mission prep program for that stake.

My stake implemented something similar to your APs several years ago and it completely backfired. They encouraged all priests sign a document and promise that they would earn their eagle scout, Duty to God, and serve a mission. Once you earned the eagle and DtG the stake gave you a really cool sword. The joke became that if you signed the document then you wouldn't serve a mission. Only about 30% of those who signed served a mission and the program ended.

I feel this stake's program is completely misguided. Generally speaking, the most successful missionaries on my misson were the ones who fooled around and had long hair, knew how to party it up, etc. My mission president even acknowledged that in zone conferences, that the APs were not the most obedient pre-mission young men. His point was that successful missionaries related to a broad range of people.

Post Reply