Judgement vs Acceptance

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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Re: Judgement vs Acceptance

Post by DarkJedi »

nibbler wrote: 05 Jun 2024, 08:32
Minyan Man wrote: 26 May 2024, 14:54 There seems to be so many divisions in our world today. Political, religious, racial, etc. Now for the reason for my post. I have a relative who is in a gay relationship. They are not married. Recently, they called and want to visit us. They asked if they could stay with us in our home. I have never had to make a decision like this before. We love them very much. My first reaction was to talk it over with my Wife even though I know what her answer would be. We are retired & don't have young children in our home. I'm not sure if it would make a difference or not.
Minyan Man wrote: 26 May 2024, 21:22 This prompted me to reflect on people I know or knew that took their own life because they were gay & still trying to be active in the church. If you're wondering, we did invite them to stay with us. We had a wonderful, fulfilling & happy time. We will do it again regardless of a church policy that seems to go against the choice we made. Maybe I'm interpreting the policy wrong.
It's one thing to talk in hypotheticals but it's an entirely different thing to live out an actual situation where philosophizing transitions into reality.

For many people, inviting a gay couple into their homes (or even an unmarried heterosexual couple for that matter) can be a difficult decision. There are all kinds of reasons people could give to decide not to do it, but I'd like to give a reason for doing it.

Lasting effects.

One year down the road, two, five, ten, a lifetime down the road. What does the couple take with them into the future? What do they look back on and see? A family member that accepted them, or another source of feeling isolated and rejected?

MM, I'm glad you gave them a fond memory to look back on. That means a lot to me.
I totally agree. Such simple gestures can be far more meaningful than we understand. I have seen a fair amount of healing take place in families by such actions. Unfortunately, I don't think we're there institutionally yet - but we can still make a difference individually.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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Re: Judgement vs Acceptance

Post by AmyJ »

Dark Jedi - Thanks for summarizing my concurrent midlife-based and faith-based crises so well :D

It's one thing to talk in hypotheticals but it's an entirely different thing to live out an actual situation where philosophizing transitions into reality.
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Re: Judgement vs Acceptance

Post by Old-Timer »

I have immediate and extended family members who are not heterosexual. I have no problem accepting that my adult children have the right to make their own choices. My relationship with them is not going to disappear or change due to whom they choose to love.

More people now recognize they also are in that situation, including more members of the church. I have seen major changes in attitudes over the last couple of decades, and even the church has backed off of the more extreme stances in the past.

I understand, intellectually and religiously, the reasons people don’t agree with me on this question, but I also understand and appreciate why it is changing.

Closets hide stuff; when they open, that stuff can’t be ignored. I believe that is a good thing.

Also, just to say it, extreme, all-or-nothing views and statements generally don’t fit the concept of coming to a healthy balance for people who are trying to stay LDS - to whatever degree and in whatever way. It takes acceptance of nuance and personal balance - for ourselves and in how we characgerize others. Charity and grace are the key, even as honest critique occur.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken
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