It is not an official resignation as DH still has a strong testimony, but simply does not want to attend. It appears that I was the only one holding it all together for the past few years and his attendance was very casual. I have a testimony of God and Jesus, but not of the BoM and the Church. Not sure if this means I will be exéd or whether we just fade away - I hadn't thought that through and have been given no indication from the priesthood.
As for extended family - it doesn't change for me as none of mine are LDS and they aren't really interested either way. For DH, nothing has really change as he has spent most of his life inactive anyway. I am sure his parents will be very disappointed if they knew the whole story, but I am not going there with them, it is DH's choice if he wants to.
Interestingly, DH has been very adamant about the truth of the church since I have "come out" to him, his actions are an interesting case study in human nature that's for sure!
So most of the angst and anguish has been in my head. The kids are really happy. Dh is slightly disturbed but I think he is ignoring it now. I am relieved.
Physically, not much has changed other than we now have weekends free and an extra night through the week that was for Youth. We haven't suddenly started breaking the law of chastity or Wow or turned into demons

The members of the church have been really lovely with messages saying the door is always open and that they will pray for us. No one has unfriended me on Facebook and I still conversations with a few.
I am considering dropping off the Ward Facebook page as notification of events are leaving me a little sad. I really did enjoy the Christmas pageants, pot luck dinners, Friday night ladies dinner, etc. I also hover over the keyboard to say yes for volunteering assignments (eg camp cook/supervisor!) but know I should not do those. I will still offer to help individual members, at least until I don't feel welcome anymore! I hope friendships will hold enough so that doesn't happen.
I want to thank everyone here for your insights, it has really helped me come to terms with my issues. It has meant I stayed longer than I thought I would and certainly do not leave with any resentment. I see that there are a lot of different types of people in the church living it their own way and making a difference.