Okay I'll say it, Polygamy

Public forum to discuss questions about Mormon history and doctrine.
AmyJ
Posts: 1312
Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: Okay I'll say it, Polygamy

Post by AmyJ »

I still have mixed feelings about Polygamy.

At the end of the day, I don't like the idea of "sharing" a relationship such as marriage with others - but really, I just don't want "the competition" for the time, talents, energy, attention of my spouse. On the other hand, there is great appeal to having "another set of hands in the business of meeting the needs of the family" with a high level of buy-in.

As it stands, every required marital function can be met via diplomatic channels, and/or outsourced to other parties, and/or substituted for. Polygamy was just one of the methods to diplomatically meet a male need that intersected with female (specifically first wife) executive functioning needs (at times). Polygamy had a unique feature of tying men and women together for both this life and potentially the next life in a way with some authority. Whether polygamy was more useful and/or less damaging then prostitutes, physical and/or emotional relationships outside of the marriage, the parentification of the children that followed "to protect the mothers" in a "variable father figure presiding" environment - that is anyone's guess.
NOTE: I have an assumption that "polygamy" functioned as "single parenting" without the "death or divorce" closure in terms of daily living combined with the "he showed up to parent/support us" randomness associated with a parent being only limitedly able to "show up" for most women involved.

The other point I remember is that polygamy was instituted by men in their 20's and 30's (and sometimes 40's) with much younger women. There would be an optimistic "it seems like a good idea at the time" vibe to it as these men were at their most physically powerful and had a higher level of vitality, and those younger women would have had an estrogen buffer to lull them into "being care takers" of those men and those families.
Minyan Man
Posts: 2266
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Okay I'll say it, Polygamy

Post by Minyan Man »

I pass no judgement regarding 2 or more consenting adults & what they do in the privacy of their own homes.

My issue is when a 60+ yr old man marries a 14 yr old girl.
Or, convincing the same girl that she needs to bear children early & often to be accepted by God.
Or, a man because of his station in an organization or society, feels justified in molesting young boys.
Or, the belief that the number of wives you marry & the number of children you "father" determines
your exaltation in the next life.

I have never heard the Church ever condemn, speak out or criticize the practice.
AmyJ
Posts: 1312
Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: Okay I'll say it, Polygamy

Post by AmyJ »

Minyan Man wrote: 19 Mar 2024, 10:11 I pass no judgement regarding 2 or more consenting adults & what they do in the privacy of their own homes.

My issue is when a 60+ yr old man marries a 14 yr old girl.
Or, convincing the same girl that she needs to bear children early & often to be accepted by God.
Or, a man because of his station in an organization or society, feels justified in molesting young boys.
Or, the belief that the number of wives you marry & the number of children you "father" determines
your exaltation in the next life.

I have never heard the Church ever condemn, speak out or criticize the practice.
These things "aren't supposed to happen" because the priesthood holder is supposed to make the "right choices" in terms of how they handle their priesthood authority and their sexuality. A movement beyond general talking about the topic (like supporting domestic violence shelters so that the 14 year old could take the children and leave) would be picking the non-priesthood holder's side (so even though the "sinning priesthood holder" shouldn't have access to the Holy Ghost, and might be breaking the law with their practice, they are still the priesthood holder who could come back).
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