On Own Now wrote: ↑
06 Oct 2020, 14:49
1 - I think we all feel this way to some degree, church or not. And let me illustrate this with differing views of a vacation to the Caribbean. For some people, the ideal vacation is to sit by a pool and read a book; no interruptions, no decisions, just relaxation. For others, it is to get out and have an unlimited number of exhausting activities; parasailing, scuba diving, hiking, snorkeling, kayaking, swimming, zip-lining, etc. For others still, it is party every night into a state of drunkenness and sleep 'til the afternoon. My guess is that each type thinks he/she has the ideal form of the vacation; the one that would make everyone the happiest, even if they do acknowledge that others might be pretty happy doing what they do. In my own case, I'm in Group 2, and I feel sorry for people in Group 1, who obviously are wasting their vacation. I often comment that they should just sit next to a heat lamp and read a book back home; saving the airfare and hotel bill. I cognitively understand that they enjoy doing that, I just don't get why and don't think they could possibly be having as much fun as me.
True, and my daughter recently experienced a real life example of exactly what you're saying. She went on a vacation with a colleague and they were both stressed out with work and needed to "get away." However, the vacation turned into a disaster because DD was more of the type who wanted to get out and do things while her friend wanted to sit at the hotel and read/do nothing. I get how this applies to happiness (DD did not understand the point of going to a hotel to just sit at the hotel either) but I'm not sure how it applies to church/religion specifically unless we're talking much broader - like Muslim vs. Christian vs. Judaism. I know many Christians have a hard time understanding how Jews could not accept Jesus as the Messiah and continue in seemingly pointless rituals. But it's a little harder for me to understand Christian vs Christian because what brings happiness is supposed to be (and mostly is) the same.
2 - I was happier before my faith crisis than I am now. There's nothing for it. I am at-peace, and I have found a good way forward that works for me, but the fact remains for me — I was happier then. If God would end his silent treatment and reveal to me that the Church is, in fact, true, I'd go back to my old state in an instant.
This was definitely true for me for a long time, but it's not any more. I do agree that if God were to send an angel or whatever and make it clear to me the church was indeed what it claims to be I would revert to my former state. I can't say I am unhappy in my current state nor that I was happier before the FC, however. I am at peace with where I'm at and that's at least in part due to my being able to give up false guilt/fear that the church tries to apply (generally successfully).
3 - I would say, based on what I have read here at StayLDS, that the contributors here generally feel that they are better off than people who are still in the Church, and that no one in the Church can attain the level of true Christianity/humanity/fair-mindedness/kindness/tolerance/awareness the way we have. Is it justified? Sure. Because we come to that conclusion based on our own life-experience; just the same way that they come to their conclusions.
Agreed, both for those of us who maintain some degree of activity or connection with the church and those who don't. My life experiences up to that point in my TBM phase brought me there, life experiences were a big part of my FC, and my current more (Fowler) stage 4/5 views are also based on life experience. In one way, the above referenced angelic visitation might not actually return me completely to my former state because I know what I know. That's the old "if I knew as a teenager what I know now things would have been a lot different."
4 - Whether a person is in the Church or has undergone an LDS Faith Crisis, or is a conservative or progressive, woman or man, millennial or boomer, modern art or impressionism lover, fan of football or soccer, I think we all create a narrative that supports our situation. We self-validate by telling ourselves that the OTHERS are not in as good of a place as we are.
Agreed, and we often seem to have to make justifications, at least to ourselves, why our own way/belief is better than our neighbor's.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.
Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."