I agree, the above example is not an apology or even an attempt at one in my book. The highlighted part is more in line with what I think. I get that some people have a really hard time apologizing and don't have another way to "save face" or not feel shamed but I think that is the exact definition of pride (as the opposite of humility).SilentDawning wrote: ↑07 Oct 2020, 09:33My friend told me it was a hollow apology for the clearly-out-of-line call-out my friend received in the previous meeting. I don't know how people can think they can sweep the negative behavior under the rug by suddenly turning all nicey-nicey. Apologies, coupled with a change in behavior afterwards seem to carry much more weight.
In my experience I have also found that those with a great deal of authority - at least perceived authority - seem to have a harder time than others. For example, most of my military leaders would never apologize no matter how much they recognized they might be wrong because admitting they were wrong and/or apologizing to a subordinate was seen as weakness. Likewise, I have encountered church leaders (stake presidents and bishops) who think pretty much the same way or that admitting they were wrong might be a chink in their own armor because if they're wrong about something (even an interpersonal relationship) they could be wrong about something of greater weight.
I once had a boss who would lose her cool sometimes, even in a group/meeting setting. Her remedy was always cookies. "Oh, come have some cookies, it'll be all right." In fairness she did sometimes apologize personally while offering the cookies, but not usually in front of the group even if she treated that individual very badly in front of the group.
Nicey-nicey just doesn't cut it (cookies or not).