Are we really that different?
Posted: 22 Dec 2018, 09:52
I don't want to derail the other thread because this is a completely separate topic but I wanted to respond to the following post and some other comments along these lines.
Are those of us that once believed in the Church enough to pay tithing as adults but later stopped believing really all that different from those that continue to believe in the Church? If so, what exactly are these differences?
Are some or most believing and obedient members somehow immune from the possibility of losing their faith in the Church and if so what is it exactly that makes them immune to this possibility?
I don't doubt that some people have a much easier time in the Church than others and I can admit that some of my original dissatisfaction in the Church had nothing to do with belief but simply the fact that I am an introvert. So home teaching, missionary work, callings, giving speeches, etc. felt like swimming upstream to me and will never be my favorite way to spend my time. But at the same time I see many other introverts continue to soldier on in the Church. Why? Personally I think happiness is far from the primary determining factor as far as who will remain faithful in the Church their whole lives or not. When I look around at the average sacrament meeting, my TBM neighbors, coworkers, family, etc., I definitely don't see people that couldn't possibly be any happier with their lives on average.
Personally I think at least two factors that are easily more influential in keeping people in the Church are: 1. A sense of obligation due to believing it is from God and 2. Concerns about what other Church members will think if they don't go along with all this. In fact, the social pressure is so strong by itself that some Church members that do not believe in the Church and don't really like the Church very much will continue to play along as if they were TBMs keeping their concerns to themselves. In fact, I think this is one reason why people want to comment on StayLDS and DAMU websites, precisely because they don't feel like they can talk about some of this stuff openly in real life.
As far as the difference between those that lost faith in the Church and those that haven't I don't believe there is really that much of a difference overall. I think the most common difference is simply that those that still believe either don't want to or haven't seriously considered the possibility that the Church isn't what it claims to be in the first place. For those that have considered the possibility many still just want (or need) to believe more than they want to doubt at this point. But that doesn't mean they can't change their minds and think, "Why should I put so much trust in the Church and its leaders?" at any time without warning. I don't really expect or necessarily even want that to happen in most cases, as far as I'm concerned people can and will believe whatever they want, but at the same time I wouldn't want to bet real money on any one Church member never losing faith no matter how much of a TBM they appear to be at this point.
[Admin Note]: A comment was added after some of the responses to illustrate how the quote excerpted in this post was altered intentionally in a way that made it possible to draw a different conclusion from it than what the actual, full quote said.
To me this sounds like the general idea that me and many other current or former Church members that lost faith in the Church were never real TBMs to begin with, we were supposedly just some sort of hypercritical malcontents that were predestined to leave the Church eventually sooner or later anyway so there's no point in President Nelson or other Church leaders worrying about what we think. To me this general idea brings up way more questions than answers and I guess I don't really buy the premise.Curt Sunshine wrote: ↑16 Dec 2018, 23:31Satisfied people want change they can understand and that doesn't shock or anger them. When that sort of change happens, satisfied people are happy. Happy people stay where they are...It really is as simple as that. President Nelson is giving satisfied members what they want...These sort of changes (non-shocking and non-anger-producing for satisfied people) aren't going to make satisfied people leave the Church. Those who leave the Church will be already dissatisfied people who don't see them as revelatory and are disappointed they aren't "bigger and better" - and those people were the most likely to leave in the first place...I can't think of a single change instituted since Nelson became President that is shocking or angering enough for typical, active, believing members to cause any of them to leave. Instead, they perceive an exciting forward movement due to steady change.
Are those of us that once believed in the Church enough to pay tithing as adults but later stopped believing really all that different from those that continue to believe in the Church? If so, what exactly are these differences?
Are some or most believing and obedient members somehow immune from the possibility of losing their faith in the Church and if so what is it exactly that makes them immune to this possibility?
I don't doubt that some people have a much easier time in the Church than others and I can admit that some of my original dissatisfaction in the Church had nothing to do with belief but simply the fact that I am an introvert. So home teaching, missionary work, callings, giving speeches, etc. felt like swimming upstream to me and will never be my favorite way to spend my time. But at the same time I see many other introverts continue to soldier on in the Church. Why? Personally I think happiness is far from the primary determining factor as far as who will remain faithful in the Church their whole lives or not. When I look around at the average sacrament meeting, my TBM neighbors, coworkers, family, etc., I definitely don't see people that couldn't possibly be any happier with their lives on average.
Personally I think at least two factors that are easily more influential in keeping people in the Church are: 1. A sense of obligation due to believing it is from God and 2. Concerns about what other Church members will think if they don't go along with all this. In fact, the social pressure is so strong by itself that some Church members that do not believe in the Church and don't really like the Church very much will continue to play along as if they were TBMs keeping their concerns to themselves. In fact, I think this is one reason why people want to comment on StayLDS and DAMU websites, precisely because they don't feel like they can talk about some of this stuff openly in real life.
As far as the difference between those that lost faith in the Church and those that haven't I don't believe there is really that much of a difference overall. I think the most common difference is simply that those that still believe either don't want to or haven't seriously considered the possibility that the Church isn't what it claims to be in the first place. For those that have considered the possibility many still just want (or need) to believe more than they want to doubt at this point. But that doesn't mean they can't change their minds and think, "Why should I put so much trust in the Church and its leaders?" at any time without warning. I don't really expect or necessarily even want that to happen in most cases, as far as I'm concerned people can and will believe whatever they want, but at the same time I wouldn't want to bet real money on any one Church member never losing faith no matter how much of a TBM they appear to be at this point.
[Admin Note]: A comment was added after some of the responses to illustrate how the quote excerpted in this post was altered intentionally in a way that made it possible to draw a different conclusion from it than what the actual, full quote said.