Personal Note

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Curt Sunshine
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Personal Note

Post by Curt Sunshine » 24 Nov 2015, 13:20

I couldn't say anything yesterday, since her siblings hadn't been notified yet, but my mother passed away unexpectedly yesterday evening. It was quick and relatively painless. Nobody knows yet exactly why it happened, since she appeared to have been in good health - and family history indicated she probably would live another 15-20 years.

For the past couple of months, she had been telling people that she wanted to be with my dad again, but that she would wait on the Lord's timing. My brain can't say I know her prayer was answered, but my heart chooses to believe that - despite all of the objective evidence I see everywhere that God doesn't work that way in most cases.

I am most grateful today for parents who loved me - truly loved the unique person I was - and allowed me to be different - and treasured me for that difference.

I am grateful for six children who allowed and allow me to try to emulate my parents' loving acceptance - even when their unique differences occasionally challenged and challenge my determination to do so.

I am grateful to have been raised with the idea that families are forever, literally. I don't know why I was and am blessed to be a part of such a wonderfully unique family, with that particular theology, but I thank God for it. My parents were ordinary heroes, and I will treasure my association with them forever.

Subjectively and from a believer's heart, I am thankful, deeply, that my mother has been allowed to receive her fondest desire - to be with my father again.

God bless you, Mom and Dad. Save a place for all of us.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Re: Personal Note

Post by Minyan Man » 24 Nov 2015, 13:32

Ray, I'm so sorry for your loss. My Mother's passing was the hardest for me.
Isn't it great to have good memories? I'll be thinking of you & your family this holiday.

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Re: Personal Note

Post by LookingHard » 24 Nov 2015, 13:46

My heart goes to you and your family. May you find some peace during this trying time.

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Re: Personal Note

Post by Dax » 24 Nov 2015, 14:50

Sending you and your family prayers and and good wishes this holiday season. So sorry for your loss!

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Re: Personal Note

Post by Roy » 24 Nov 2015, 15:57

Ray DeGraw wrote:For the past couple of months, she had been telling people that she wanted to be with my dad again, but that she would wait on the Lord's timing.
My great grandmother said some similar things for the last years of her life. I do believe that people can have a sense that their life mission is fulfilled, a resignation to take that final step into the unknown.

You and your family will be in my prayers!
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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Re: Personal Note

Post by amateurparent » 24 Nov 2015, 17:25

My grandparents had that bond. When my grandmother died, I was so torn. She was the last link to that older generation. I missed her and all that she represented in my life.

And yet .. I was pleased that she had the wish of her heart. She got to be with the one she loved the most, and I was mature enough to recognize that although she loved me, the ties that bound and pulled her to her husband were stronger than the ties that bound her to all the rest of us combined. And I was pleased. It gave me hope to find such a love for myself in this world.

For you, Ray, who are still here, I am sorry for your loss.
I have no advance degrees in parenting. No national credentials. I am an amateur parent. I read, study, and learn all I can to be the best parent possible. Every time I think I have reached expert status with one child for one stage in their life, something changes and I am back to amateur status again. Now when I really mess up, I just apologize to my child, and explain that I am indeed an amateur .. I'm still learning how to do this right.

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Re: Personal Note

Post by hawkgrrrl » 24 Nov 2015, 20:03

So sorry, Ray. I am sure you have mixed feelings about this. Even when there's an upside for the one who dies, it's a loss.

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Re: Personal Note

Post by SilentDawning » 24 Nov 2015, 20:40

What a heartfelt post Ray. Thanks for sharing your perspective on it..
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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Re: Personal Note

Post by Ilovechrist77 » 24 Nov 2015, 20:43

Ray, I'm really sorry for your loss. I don't know what I'd do if my mom or dad passed away. I'll pray for you and your family to find peace.

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Re: Personal Note

Post by nibbler » 25 Nov 2015, 06:33

I'm sorry for your loss. May god be with you and your family at this difficult time.
Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.
— Hippocrates

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