Roy wrote:I love that your daughter is crafting her own identity. She is not afraid of her world being slightly different then yours and now it seems is not afraid of it being slightly different than the church's. From previous posts she is also not afraid to stand up to pressure from a male potential romantic partner. Sounds like she is getting to know herself and make possitive choices about what she wants out of life. I believe that this ability will serve her well.
Those are all true things. Adding to this, she was bullied a while ago in the church and it made a very damaging, and at the time, seemingly permanent impression on her. I paid for counseling which she reported, really helped.
After she gained confidence by going to a different Ward and making some really, really good friends with very exemplary youth, bullying started happening at school. She and a friend went to the administration and complained, which led to a no-contact agreement between her and the offending boy. She came home telling me how empowered she felt to take matters into her own hands and shut this bully down.
She also explained how disappointed she was in a friend of hers that was present when the bullying happened -- and he stood by and did nothing. This led to a face to face meeting where he apologized (this non-bullying, bystander of the bully).
She has an "i"m not taking this anymore" attitude. Which is a far cry from the timid, somewhat insecure tween and teenager of two years ago before we started attending the Ward of our choice, and not the one to which we belong.
I feel now, that the church has so little power over my life right now. The biggest lever they have is shutting me out of the temple when my daughter goes there for endowments or marriage. Beyond that, I feel I have made the transition to being in the church, but not of the church.
