A Terrific Article about Pornography

Public forum for topics that don't fit into the other categories.
startpoor
Posts: 193
Joined: 22 Nov 2013, 13:43

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by startpoor » 06 Jun 2015, 07:53

amateurparent wrote:
Intense internal pressure generally leads to explosion, no matter the nature of the pressure.

So, what GB said
And what Ray Degraw said too.

A couple months ago, a single LDS friend confided to me that she had gone to the bishop and confessed her sin of mastrubation. Her temple recommend was taken over this. That just seemed so wrong to me. She felt shamed and made to feel less worthy over something that seemed so insignificant. I'm not sure why these topics are even asked about within the framework of religion.
Things like this make me want to shake people!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Happiness (n.) The state of being in compliance with Mormon norms, regardless of one’s actual resulting emotional state

George, Sr.: Faith is a fact. No, faith is a facet. I almost said faith is a fact.

User avatar
SilentDawning
Posts: 7348
Joined: 09 May 2010, 19:55

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by SilentDawning » 06 Jun 2015, 09:22

What bothers me is situations where people prohibit certain activities that serve a particular purpose, without providing alternatives. In general...I'll bet the discussion with the Bishop involved confession of MB followed by a discussion of why it is "wrong" from the Bishop's perspective, followed with a TR being taken away.

If there is no alternative, then what? In the case of MB I have also wondered if a Bishop would rather the person went out an relieved the tension with a real person rather than in private and alone? I'm being sarcastic.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

GBSmith
Posts: 975
Joined: 24 Apr 2010, 08:51

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by GBSmith » 06 Jun 2015, 10:15

Part of the problem as I see it is that we lose confidence in deciding for ourselves what's OK or not and then rely on a leader to make the decision for us. Risky business. I think it's been referred to leadership roulette, a game I've lost at and won't play again. We're supposed to be entitled to personal revelation but I don't think we really believe in it most of the time.

amateurparent
Posts: 953
Joined: 19 Jan 2014, 20:43

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by amateurparent » 06 Jun 2015, 11:11

We have reached a point at our house that when the youth have Standards Night, a special fireside on pornography, or a special stake YW meeting on Modesty, we do not attend.

Our daughter is modest. In fact, she is a little TOO focused on modesty. She doesn't need any more lessons on the topic. I want her to grow up with a healthy understanding and respect for herself and her body. The local church has just gone too far to the weird side on the topic. The balance is gone.

I am soooo tired to hearing people talk at church about the dangers of porn .. And trying to get everyone to buy a book on the topic .. Stop already.
I have no advance degrees in parenting. No national credentials. I am an amateur parent. I read, study, and learn all I can to be the best parent possible. Every time I think I have reached expert status with one child for one stage in their life, something changes and I am back to amateur status again. Now when I really mess up, I just apologize to my child, and explain that I am indeed an amateur .. I'm still learning how to do this right.

User avatar
Ilovechrist77
Posts: 707
Joined: 08 Nov 2011, 21:42

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by Ilovechrist77 » 06 Jun 2015, 12:56

I've read that article before, Ray. Thanks for sharing. :D

Ann
Posts: 2576
Joined: 09 Sep 2012, 02:17

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by Ann » 06 Jun 2015, 13:15

Please, no more references to porn in sacrament meeting. Do other churches talk about things so mundane in their main worship service?

I liked the article. I think it would be great for kids to sort through the issues long before they get married.
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

Minyan Man
Posts: 1999
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by Minyan Man » 06 Jun 2015, 13:47

We hear a lot in church about Pornography but, we hear very little about shame.
A teenage boy can get aroused by a warmer breeze or just about anything else.
The mere fact that he can get aroused is not a sin. The implication is that he should feel
shame when he gets aroused. Doctor Brene Brown talked about it (shame) in the article.
The church should talk more about shame & less about pornography. What it is & what its not.
If a teenage boy should feel shame every time he is aroused, he would feel shame every
10 to 15 minutes. (If I'm remembering correctly.)

Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16852
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by Curt Sunshine » 06 Jun 2015, 13:50

Ann, I would rejoice if the topic was forbidden from being mentioned in Sacrament Meeting.

It has no place in a worship service, and I have said so to multiple local leaders throughout the country where I have lived.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

amateurparent
Posts: 953
Joined: 19 Jan 2014, 20:43

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by amateurparent » 06 Jun 2015, 14:22

My all time favorite SM talk was when a 70ish stalwart HP gave a talk and every time he meant to say "organization" he said "orgasm" instead. I'm not sure he will ever live it down -- but he did have everyone's FULL attention.
I have no advance degrees in parenting. No national credentials. I am an amateur parent. I read, study, and learn all I can to be the best parent possible. Every time I think I have reached expert status with one child for one stage in their life, something changes and I am back to amateur status again. Now when I really mess up, I just apologize to my child, and explain that I am indeed an amateur .. I'm still learning how to do this right.

User avatar
russdm
Posts: 22
Joined: 10 May 2015, 20:58
Location: North Bend, WA

Re: A Terrific Article about Pornography

Post by russdm » 06 Jun 2015, 15:46

Minyan Man wrote:We hear a lot in church about Pornography but, we hear very little about shame.
A teenage boy can get aroused by a warmer breeze or just about anything else.
The mere fact that he can get aroused is not a sin. The implication is that he should feel
shame when he gets aroused. Doctor Brene Brown talked about it (shame) in the article.
The church should talk more about shame & less about pornography. What it is & what its not.
If a teenage boy should feel shame every time he is aroused, he would feel shame every
10 to 15 minutes. (If I'm remembering correctly.)
I think, my personal experience, is what really feeds the Pornography addiction cycle. A screw up occurs, shame get applied, the Holy Ghost vanishes (takes a vacation) and something steps in that draws towards wrong material. Effort is made to do what the Church has suggested to fix the desire to look/shame induced stuff, when failure occurs (a screw up happens), the push works a little faster this time. As the push increases in speed, the shame helps fuel the need which causes the push. Before long, not only does Pornography cause problems, but it feeds its own shame so that you feel shameful about using it and feel shameful so it gets used. The guilt is still there, for sinning, but is now overshadowed by the shame.

Shame weakens one's ability to connect with God, which ends up being caused by the Church, which frankly is just handing a freebie weapon to the other side. Lucifer doesn't need to do much to make full use of this, because the Church is providing all the material He needs. As long as the Church can't stop producing shame with guilt in those who make sexual mistakes, Satan can keep manipulating them freely. The Church needs to remove the shame, keep the guilt, and encourage a different way of thinking that strips power away from the shame and pornography. The Church also fails to provide real encouragement of the problem and only barely recently has anything about been able to fix the problem with help has been showing up in any talks. GAs rarely have actually spoken in a way to encourage those affected to remove the problem, and has flat-out dumped down on everything. The Natural God given sexuality is treated as being shameful, while the true "natural man" is ignored. God gave us sexuality, but we as a church can't seem to tell the difference between it and what the bad natural man is. When you get programmed/indoctrinated by the Church to view God's sexuality as shameful, then the actual bad natural man gets to move in and replace it, causing all of these problems or helping them along. That needs to change.

Even more important, the Church leadership needs to stop just talking about the problem and encourage its members to use their political ability to fight it. The big smash against smoking recently that has hurt the industries who make the smoking objects was due to public ads about what happened when using it, removing away all of the glamour placed on smoking in society. That has not really happened enough with porn and the church seems reluctant to do anything but continually criticize those who get caught in the problem. The Church has also taken a while to where they are willing to promote groups for recovery. I think the Church doesn't like having to acknowledge that it simply doesn't how to help and that it failed to act properly when porn was just beginning to start being the problem it is being described as today. The Church is having to play massive catch-up due to its previous failure which has helped let the problem grow.

Post Reply