Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions?

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GodisLove
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by GodisLove » 27 May 2013, 19:58

In SE Idaho the pressure is huge.

My daughter just graduated and that is as much a question as where she plans on going to college. I have seen things I hadn't thought of regarding the boys too. Many of them received their mission calls 3 and 4 months ago. They opted to skip prom and graduation parties to save money and avoid girls. Seems like we are pushing them to grow up way to fast.

I did sit in on Ward Council Sunday and a direct quote "what are these kids problems. They need to get on a mission or ruin their life"...they mean girls too.
Not one Sparrow is forgotten
E'en the raven God will feed
And the lily of the valley
From His bounty hath its need

Then shall I not trust Thee, Father
In Thy mercy have a share?
And through faith and prayer, my Mother
Merit Thy protecting care?
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Thoreau
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by Thoreau » 27 May 2013, 20:11

GodisLove wrote:In SE Idaho the pressure is huge.

My daughter just graduated and that is as much a question as where she plans on going to college. I have seen things I hadn't thought of regarding the boys too. Many of them received their mission calls 3 and 4 months ago. They opted to skip prom and graduation parties to save money and avoid girls. Seems like we are pushing them to grow up way to fast.

I did sit in on Ward Council Sunday and a direct quote "what are these kids problems. They need to get on a mission or ruin their life"...they mean girls too.

Sounds like we're in the same ward.
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” Henry David Thoreau

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by Curt Sunshine » 27 May 2013, 20:37

SE Idaho might as well be northern Utah in many ways. It's why lots of the rest of Idaho is largely anti-Mormon.

Yeah, I know those are stereotypes, but if you haven't lived there or known non-Mormons who have lived there . . .
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Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

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cwald
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by cwald » 27 May 2013, 22:49

GodisLove wrote:In SE Idaho the pressure is huge.

My daughter just graduated and that is as much a question as where she plans on going to college. I have seen things I hadn't thought of regarding the boys too. Many of them received their mission calls 3 and 4 months ago. They opted to skip prom and graduation parties to save money and avoid girls. Seems like we are pushing them to grow up way to fast.

I did sit in on Ward Council Sunday and a direct quote "what are these kids problems. They need to get on a mission or ruin their life"...they mean girls too.
I'm not surprised. I'm saddened though.

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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by Curt Sunshine » 27 May 2013, 23:44

As I said, it will happen in some areas and not in others - just like everything else.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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mackay11
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Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions?

Post by mackay11 » 28 May 2013, 01:34

wjclerk wrote:
wuwei wrote:I hate Provo...
At least they are getting Google fiber optic for super high speed broadband internet throughout the city! Got to find the positive where it exists!
Is that so they can download their p0rn faster?

:)

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DevilsAdvocate
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by DevilsAdvocate » 28 May 2013, 09:34

Heber13 wrote:My daughter is at BYU-Idaho. There has been an increase in pressure from my daughter's perspective that people think young women like my daughter ought to be married by 20, or serve a mission, in that order. If neither of these, she feels people wonder what's wrong...That is all her perception in a culture specific to BYU-I.
SilentDawning wrote:I heard its already happening in some Wards. Particularly in wards where there is a strong snobbery regarding those who buy into every aspect of a the high performing Mormon culture.
Even if women are starting to experience some pressure to go on missions and that is already more than any real pressure there typically was before the age limit change that still doesn't mean it is anywhere near the same as the way it already is for the young men. If women in the Church never serve a mission I doubt anyone will think that much about it either way once they are married in the temple but there are definitely many in the Church that will continue to count it against any LDS men that don't belong to the RM club even decades after they failed to live up to this expected tradition.
"Truth is what works." - William James

Bds4206
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by Bds4206 » 28 May 2013, 10:35

I just want to express a view on the mission pressure issue.

As a convert to the church that was raised by an atheist and never even knew what a mission was until a few years ago, I have to say that while I have a ton of respect for the young men and women that devote this portion of their lives to spreading the gospel I am appalled on a regular basis by parents and church members putting so much pressure on kids to do this. It's mandatory for these kids really, and is the biggest example of having very little free will or "agency" while being a member of the church. Are missions good for some of these kids? I firmly believe that they can be very,very strong tools for personal development. Forcing you out the door at 18/19 and sending you to a foreign place and throwing you out of your comfort zone has some benefits that can't even be measured...but these kids should really have a choice, and the way I've witnessed it first hand, they have no choice at all really unless they are willing to give up their friends and ward family, and in some instances their real family. Now when a young man or woman gets a mission call, all I can think about is, I wonder if they really want to go or is this forced on them?....Especially if they are questioning their faith in any way and feel that they can't talk to anyone about their doubts, kind of like everyone else that doubts.

Roy
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by Roy » 28 May 2013, 10:39

DevilsAdvocate wrote:Even if women are starting to experience some pressure to go on missions and that is already more than any real pressure there typically was before the age limit change that still doesn't mean it is anywhere near the same as the way it already is for the young men. If women in the Church never serve a mission I doubt anyone will think that much about it either way once they are married in the temple but there are definitely many in the Church that will continue to count it against any LDS men that don't belong to the RM club even decades after they failed to live up to this expected tradition.
I agree and I disagree DA. I agree that once the YW are married then the pressure to serve would largely evaporate. It seems to be an either or thing - "not getting married - why not go on a mission?"

OTOH people assume certain things about DW all the time because of her missionary experience (i.e. that she is well versed in the gospel, or would make a great teacher or leader [in the first 5 years of our marriage she was called as a RS pres. once and a Primary Pres. twice]) So even long after getting married having served a mission is a plus and is assumed to mean certain things.

While with women the assumptions related to having completed a mission seem to be largely positive, there can certainly be some negative assumptions for men that didn't serve. Were they worthy? Were/are they uncommitted? Were they a new member? I believe that these negative assumptions can dissipate in later decades through other markers of group loyalty. I don't believe many would hold not having served a mission against an SP, or MP, or GA for example. However if a non-RM attends church fairly regularly but doesn't hold a calling - a fellow churchgoer may assume that not serving a mission was a sign of some deeper character flaw and look for the lack of other markers of group loyalty to confirm this thesis.
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mom3
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Re: Will females receive the same pressure to serve missions

Post by mom3 » 28 May 2013, 11:41

We have YM in our ward who has chosen not to serve a mission. He's up front about it. He says he just feels like it isn't for him. He was telling my husband about it. He said he still believes the church and attends regularly. He has nothing to hide or sin, just isn't his thing. My husband asked how the young man's parents handled it, they both served missions, he said his dad especially was disappointed, but the son said, "You've always taught me that life is a choice."

I don't know if he will change his mind or how he will feel in time, but it was a cool story to hear.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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