Sometimes we need the Church more than it needs us, and sometimes the reverse is true. It's just an interesting phenomenon to consider in our ongoing relationship with the Church. When the Church isn't there in our time of need or fails us, that can be devastating. When the Church needs us more than we need it (e.g. a struggling branch or ward without enough people to run things), this is IMO the sweet spot. You have a little more breathing room. This thought process puts the Church in a "friend" relationship. Is the friend just using us or is the friend helping to meet our needs?the church needs me to have a TR more than I feel the need to have one
The stake visits you mentioned are routine across the Church before conferences. We just moved in October, and I was in the RSP in our old ward, so I used to have to do these visits. Due to the pandemic and the impossibility to actually belong to the ward with everyone's faces behind a mask (plus this new ward is not as cautious as our old stake's guidelines, which I don't like), we have only been to church once since we moved. Lo and behold, I got a text from the RSP asking if she & another sister could come by, which I said was fine with masks and/or visiting outdoors. When they came by, the other sister was from the Stake, and I realized "Oh, this is one of those visits!" I said, "It must be Wednesday before a conference if you are out doing these visits." She looked taken aback that I knew what they were up to. I think I surprised her. She said, "Oh, have you done these visits before?" I said, "Yeah, I was in the Relief Society Presidency in our last ward." I don't know why that would be so surprising unless they are (unreasonably) expecting Church attendance during a pandemic (despite not requiring masks while also allowing singing), and if so, hats off to them, but that's not going to change my behavior. I haven't yet got a read on this ward and whether or not this is important to me. I haven't missed Church AT ALL. I still love my prior ward friends, though, and I suspect I would grow to love these weirdos, too. Just not in love with the framework of boredom and repetition and social pressure to do things I don't care about that it's all wrapped up in.
Oh, and for how the people you visit are chosen, what people say in the meeting is that they feel prompted to visit these specific people with either known needs or suspected needs. It's not *strictly* about re-activation either. It's sometimes just a fact-finding visit. However, the dirty little secret behind those promptings is that NOBODY feels prompted to visit the people they think are going to be hostile or unpleasant, so you've got that going for you. People are smart enough to pick the softball visits.