I'm more of a wallflower.
Tangent/soapbox time (sorry).
I agree with your points. For many, a sense of duty or obligation drives the programs. To be honest, if we're to keep the church operational some of the work is going to fall into that category, it can't be all fun and games... but there needs to be a balance. Programs that people are enthusiastic about. If it's nothing but obligation after obligation it leads to burnout.
The challenge is that we often make programs out of things a few people are enthusiastic about. I think every ward has a Brother/Sister GenealogyNut, someone that's super enthusiastic about doing family history and temple stuff. There's no problem with that, in fact it's a good thing, my issue is when it's presented as an expectation for every member. Members can (and do) opt out but it can make non-participants uncomfortable, like they're being less faithful. It can become a yoke around the neck for people that aren't Brother/Sister GenealogyNut.
Side note: if you have to give regular lessons on the importance of program xyz because people aren't participating, that's probably an indication that there's an issue with the program, not the people.
Trying to get back on track...
Many of the church programs don't have much to offer the non-believer. If you don't believe people need every temple ordinance to be saved there's less desire to participate in temple activities. If the ministering program centers around checking up on how people are coming along with the stake president's goal or if it centers around giving a lesson in something that you don't believe in there's less desire to participate.
I think back to my YSA days. It was a different era, much has changed since then, but I remember really enjoying church. I don't remember there being much structure to social gatherings. We didn't meet to watch a video on the restoration and discuss how we should be handing out BoMs, simply being together and enjoying one another's company was all the gospel purpose we needed.