Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

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Curt Sunshine
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by Curt Sunshine » 01 Nov 2013, 01:27

The scriptural justification is from the Old Testament, and it's a horrible, incorrect reading of the actual passage. It's a perfect example of the philosophies of men, mingled with (bad interpretations of) scripture.

Even the most die hard conservative member would have a hard time giving a logical, scriptural explanation of why mutual masturbation within marriage is morally wrong, especially given the wording of the Law of Chastity in the temple.
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DarkJedi
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by DarkJedi » 01 Nov 2013, 03:30

GBSmith wrote:I think missionaries still get grilled about it. A number of years ago my wife and I were having lunch with a single woman that had left the church. In the course of the conversation she told us about a temple recommend interview she had with a bishop's counselor. When he go to the question on chastity he asked her if she masturbated. Her reply was "yes, don't you?" to which he replied after a brief pause that he did and then went ahead and finished the interview and gave her her recommend. I guess the only other thing I'd add is what we used to say about my mission president, Pres. Packer, back in the day. He didn't tell me, I didn't ask.
Having a son who just left on a mission, I confirm that missionaries are still grilled on the subject. Your single friend's response was great because it's true, everyone has done it in some form and many do it frequently. As others have said, the church has no business in the bedrooms of married adults.
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SilentDawning
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by SilentDawning » 01 Nov 2013, 04:20

I'm disturbed they call it "self-abuse". For some men and some women, it's the only way they stay married when their spouses refuse to have intercourse with them, become unable to have intercourse, or have their spouses away for long periods of time etcetera.
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mackay11
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Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by mackay11 » 01 Nov 2013, 05:50

SilentDawning wrote:I'm disturbed they call it "self-abuse". For some men and some women, it's the only way they stay married when their spouses refuse to have intercourse with them, become unable to have intercourse, or have their spouses away for long periods of time etcetera.
If the plural of mouse is mice, I propose to make the plural of spouse spice. :)

And to answer your question, it's helpfully ambiguous. "Do you self abuse?" Not at all bishop :) I don't whip myself with chains, I don't insult my reflection, I don't beat myself to a pulp. No self abuse here.

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Orson
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by Orson » 01 Nov 2013, 08:53

I am not clear on what the handbook is talking about. I'm not sure what "self-abuse" is supposed to mean, it sounds horrid and I'm certain it is nothing that I have to worry about as I have a healthy and happy life. I take good care of myself, I have a healthy self-image. I have heard people abuse themselves verbally and emotionally but I can't personally relate. We have a good relationship - me, myself, and I.
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mackay11
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by mackay11 » 01 Nov 2013, 09:55

Orson wrote:I am not clear on what the handbook is talking about. I'm not sure what "self-abuse" is supposed to mean, it sounds horrid and I'm certain it is nothing that I have to worry about as I have a healthy and happy life. I take good care of myself, I have a healthy self-image. I have heard people abuse themselves verbally and emotionally but I can't personally relate. We have a good relationship - me, myself, and I.
Indeed. If the church chooses to be ambiguous then I will apply my understanding to it.

church0333
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by church0333 » 01 Nov 2013, 13:25

As far as I am concerned this is not the churches business. The TR question of " do you live the law of chastity?" covers all they need to know. I get to fill in the details. As a side note, when I was in Iraq I had a friend who was told by his SP to take care of his "needs" but to imagine his wife while handling that particular need. Best advice a SP has ever giving IMO on that matter.

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QuestionAbound
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by QuestionAbound » 01 Nov 2013, 14:05

Oh, my gosh. You are all so funny.
1 - If a TR interviewer asked ME that question, I am not sure I would be brave enough to admit the truth. :smile:
2 - I can't believe a SP would give "that kind" of advice. I wonder if he was uncomfortable giving it out. :lol:
3 - Me, myself, and I...good relationships there are essential.

So, let's hope that the topic doesn't come up again with my little circle of friends, but if it does, I'll be more prepared. Prepared to say...it's not anyone's business. IMO, as long as you aren't hurting anyone or doing anything illegal, who really cares?

Thanks, all. 8-)

common twit
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by common twit » 02 Nov 2013, 20:08

I used to justify my addiction to porn was okay because I was not masturbating while viewing it. I had been so shamed when I was young that I still believed it was one of the worst things one could do. I was so screwed up that when I had a wet dream, I would plead for forgiveness.
So now I am starting to see some of damage that was done. High five me for that. (If you dare).

I agree with the posts on here... Let the couple have some fun.

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: Um...self-stimulation okay in marriage?

Post by hawkgrrrl » 02 Nov 2013, 21:57

Mormon Therapist is IMO the expert on matters sexual for LDS people. While she may not speak FOR the church, she is very qualified to speak to the mental health of the members.

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