I don't consider it my duty to do whatever they call me to do, however. I have to say "no" a lot so I can maximize my personal joy and peace with the church. I am also training them somewhat when they are open, about how to get the most from people through alignment of personal talent, goals and passion with organizational needs. We are too fixated on the organizational needs to the point we often forget the personal needs. So you end up with people serving halfheartedly in many cases, because they are simply not engaged with the task they've been told to do.Heber13 wrote: ↑27 Sep 2017, 08:09It's nice they have someone to do those things, and I'm sure they find fulfillment from it for themselves and get support from their families that helps their families grow closer...so it is all good. It makes it easier to sit in the back row and do my duty as whatever they call me to, and let others have the responsibility to do things in church they think are important to them. We all take the sacrament the same way. They others stuff...happy to let others spend time on it.
Aye, there's the rub (put on your best pirate voice for that one). Eventually you run into new leaders who see you on various high profile, apparently high potential lists like "endowed members without TR's", High Priests or simply active at church but not deeply engaged. They want to activate you, or sometimes, simply get work out of you to fulfil the needs of the Ward. Those are tough conversations.But there are times I have to have the discussions in bishop's offices about what I believe and how willing I am to sacrifice, and those have to be navigated carefully so I can stay involved with my kids and family on the rituals and traditions that are special to my family. I do just enough to get what I find as fulfillment out of church, and look for the rest outside of church.
Good responses include -- being tired, heavily involved with other commitments out of necessity (like I was going to school recently). Any non-doubt or non-negative-toward-the-church reason you can come out with. When they ask about a TR, indicate, "I'd like to leave myself open to do that eventually,but right now, I don't feel passionate about it". I once commented to a Bishop that church commitment can ebb and flow throughout one's life. The last Bishop I had one of these conversations with didn't know that his first counselor was severely inactive and almost antagonistic when I was HPGL. Now this man is full-on in the church. He also didn't seem to know that his now RS President was deeply inactive when I home taught her over a period of 3 or 4 years as HPGL. Now she's a pillar in the Ward. So I try to help them see that the person they see now (me) is not likely the person they will see in the future -- provided I'm allowed to occupy my church space the way I consider best for the time being. And I'm not the guy I was in the past either. People need time to evolve and re-evolve and transform.
Vague, hopeful, not antagonistic or negative, but supportive as much as you feel you can be supportive. And just as importantly -- assertive!
As we saw from Doubting Tom, you simply cannot share doubts or church angst or it has strong potential to come back and bite you.