Do you enjoy going to the opera?

[LookingHard]

... I also try to remember that I am the one who is changing. When we married (in the temple), we made covenants and promises and I'm the one who is changing the deal. I recognize how hard it is on her.

I have tried hard with my wife to realize the same thing. It is hard for me, but I think she feels more turmoil about our differences than I do now - and I caused that.

I can't tell whether I think that's a good attitude to have or not. Change is inevitable in marriages that last for decades. We didn't promise we would never change. Where fidelity exists, people need to be less brittle about change, even in belief.

I think I get what you are saying. My focus now is on the shorter term and I just shocked her a few months ago bursting out of the belief closet. I need to be patient and extra loving. Mid to long term - she does need to deal with the change. I will give her some time to adjust.

[amateurparent]

The problem isn't going to the opera. Going to the opera is a healthy thing to do.

The problem is being told that I will be joining the opera and the rest of my life will be focused on preparing for opera, performing in opera events, memorizing lines, mentoring opera singers and constantly advertising every day for the next operatic event. It is being told I need to give away a certain number of tickets at work .. and knowing that my colleagues all prefer hip-hop and heavy metal.

And recognizing that while I don't hate opera, I would like to listen to some hip-hop, rock and country and figure out what music I really do prefer. And feeling a little uneasy when I realize I don't really like opera very much.

[SamBee]

In spiritual terms, most hip hop and rock would be the equivalent of the horoscopes in the paper and "Hopi" ear candles. Except for heavy metal

[Curt Sunshine]

I know quite a few people who affiliate with one religion but attend a different one because their spouse is more "devout" than they are. I have a good friend who attended the LDS Church for 30 years simply to support his wife - and because he didn't have a different community of believers he loved more. He didn't believe the doctrine, but he loved his wife.

I think there are many, many thousands of people sitting in chapels every week who are like that. Frankly, I admire and respect them every bit as much a single the solid, unquestioning believers - and, sometimes, even more.

[SamBee]

There was a guy I heard on the radio a few years ago whose son was going through his bar mitzvah and first RC communion in the same year.

[DoubtingTom]

Well I'm off to today's opera, plus the pre-opera meeting I attend with the conductor. I'm doing a social experiment today - wearing a non-white shirt just to see how many comments I get. Ever since my calling as EQP, I've gone totally orthoprax in my wardrobe, but the fact is, I enjoy wearing my other shirts too so today will be the first time in months. Probably no one will say anything, but I'm curious. Funny how there's even a stigma around what color shirt men wear...

[FaithfulSkeptic]

The problem isn't going to the opera. Going to the opera is a healthy thing to do.

The problem is being told that I will be joining the opera and the rest of my life will be focused on preparing for opera, performing in opera events, memorizing lines, mentoring opera singers and constantly advertising every day for the next operatic event. It is being told I need to give away a certain number of tickets at work .. and knowing that my colleagues all prefer hip-hop and heavy metal.

And recognizing that while I don't hate opera, I would like to listen to some hip-hop, rock and country and figure out what music I really do prefer. And feeling a little uneasy when I realize I don't really like opera very much.

This!

Like it or not, my whole life revolves around the opera.

[Reuben]

This whole thread would be offensive to most of the people who attend the opera. The idea that it may not be the best kind of musical theater is threatening. Even classifying opera as "musical theater" - i.e. not affirming that it's in its own class and is therefore incomparable - is threatening. Even worse is the idea that an avid fan of opera could sour on it.

This is fun!

[SamBee]

This whole thread would be offensive to most of the people who attend the opera. The idea that it may not be the best kind of musical theater is threatening. Even classifying opera as "musical theater" - i.e. not affirming that it's in its own class and is therefore incomparable - is threatening. Even worse is the idea that an avid fan of opera could sour on it.

This is fun!

The thing is though that not all opera lovers like the same thing. I sat through Parsifal by Wagner and loved it but HMS Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan left me cold.

[nibbler]

I have a good friend who attended the LDS Church for 30 years simply to support his wife - and because he didn't have a different community of believers he loved more. He didn't believe the doctrine, but he loved his wife.

Oh? What's his StayLDS user ID?

Anyone (other than LookingHard) remember that Simpsons episode (Make Room for Lisa) where Homer does everything Lisa likes in order to make her happy. Lisa has an epiphany where she starts to see things from Homer's perspective:

Lisa: Oh, no, now I'm dad! [background, from Homer's point of view, fades in. He's at a ballet] Oh, and I'm at a stupid boring ballet. [yawns, and the camera's "eye" closes. We hear snoring noises]

Lisa: [in hallucination] Dad! Wake up! [camera "eye" opens] Your snoring is disturbing the dancers. [camera looks at the dancers, who are staring at Homer, tapping their feet. Then it pans back to Lisa. We can see Homer reflected in her eyes] How can you embarrass me like this? Oh, you won't sit through anything that doesn't have car crashes.

Lisa: [as Homer] I'm sorry, honey. [to "himself"] Gee, why is Lisa so mad at me? [twists his ballet program] I only came to this dump so I could be with her. And what happened to my big sandwich?

...

Lisa: Gee, I should cut Dad some slack. After all, he did take me to the ballet, and the Smithsonian exhibit. In fact, he takes me lots of places he hates.

The problem isn't going to the opera. Going to the opera is a healthy thing to do.

The problem is being told that I will be joining the opera and the rest of my life will be focused on preparing for opera, performing in opera events, memorizing lines, mentoring opera singers and constantly advertising every day for the next operatic event. It is being told I need to give away a certain number of tickets at work .. and knowing that my colleagues all prefer hip-hop and heavy metal.

And recognizing that while I don't hate opera, I would like to listen to some hip-hop, rock and country and figure out what music I really do prefer. And feeling a little uneasy when I realize I don't really like opera very much.

And to extend the analogy. Do I enjoy going to the opera? I guess, I dunno. Do I enjoy going to the exact same opera again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again... ? Knowing there are other operas out there that I haven't seen yet weighs on the decision. Heck, maybe I could even write my own opera.

Great all this talk about opera and now I really want to see a fat lady give the closing prayer during the first session of general conference so I can get on with the rest of my weekend. (this is where I remind people that humor is sometimes offensive )