quit my calling today

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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jamison
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quit my calling today

Post by jamison » 29 Jan 2017, 21:46

I walked out of church and told the Bishop that I quit my calling and I don't want to do it anymore. Not sure what will happen next Sunday. I hurt myself by hitting my hand against a wall since I was so angry. I am tired of working for "free" in the church without any respect or thanks from anyone. I am incensed and do not know what will happen. I don't even know if I can face going to Church next Sunday. I snapped because I made a mistake and I do not know how to go about fixing it right now. I perceive the Church in a worse light than I used to see it, even three years ago.
"Ignorance, fear, and conflict are the basic elements of everyday consciousness" Marvin Harris -- Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches.

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by hawkgrrrl » 29 Jan 2017, 22:43

It sounds like you had a frustrating day. What exactly happened? What was your calling? What went wrong?

Donna
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by Donna » 30 Jan 2017, 10:21

I am sorry you had a stressful day. How did the Bishop react when you quit? I hope he was supportive.

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jamison
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by jamison » 30 Jan 2017, 22:01

The bishop just gave me a blank stare like what the heak just happened. I have not been contacted about my behavior or my remarks as I left. I am sick of feeling stressed out at church and just see my calling as an extension from my job 5 days a week. It is really sad when your Mondays are better than your Sundays. This is how it has been for a long, long time. I don't understand how serving in the church turns out so bad.
"Ignorance, fear, and conflict are the basic elements of everyday consciousness" Marvin Harris -- Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches.

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nibbler
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by nibbler » 31 Jan 2017, 05:10

I know how that feels. At one point I was at church about 6.5 hours per Sunday, I had mid-week meetings, I even had hours long conference calls I needed to participate in. Church felt exactly like an extension of my job and as you said, Mondays felt more relaxing than Sundays. I think we're doing our Sabbath wrong when going back to the grind feels more restful.

Saturdays became my true Sabbath, my real day of rest from the concerns of this world... because that's what church had become for me, a place to stress about more worldly concerns.

It sounds like you need a break from callings like I needed a break from callings. Contrary to what some would have you believe, it's not the end of the world if you don't have a calling. ;)
Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.
— Hippocrates

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DarkJedi
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by DarkJedi » 31 Jan 2017, 08:22

I also relate to the idea of Sunday being more stressful than the workweek. I went through a period where I more or less dreaded Sundays. It's no fun.

I agree with Nibbler, not having a calling is not the end of the world nor does it lead to inactivity. Some people need to be involved or feel guilty because that not doing "their share." And I seem to be hearing a lot about "stewardship" and "accountability" of late (not from leadership). One guy in priesthood on Sunday said he was "sure" God was going to ask us about our home teaching stewardship on judgement day. What he didn't say was how he was so sure of that or what special insight into the afterlife he might have that the rest of us apparently don't seem to have. I have no clue what we'll be asked about on judgement day or if there actually is such a thing that we will be asked anything at all. I do believe Jesus asked us to love our neighbors, and I try to do that but I'm not very good at it. I think that's where grace comes into play.

I'm sorry you had a bad day on Sunday. I hope you didn't burn any bridges in your relationship with your bishop. I don't know him, obviously, but there could be many explanations for what he's been doing in the meantime - including doing nothing because he doesn't know what to do. I also don't know where you live, but maybe visiting a neighboring ward for just sacrament, or visiting another church, or even a Sunday or two just "off" is in order.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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Roy
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by Roy » 31 Jan 2017, 16:46

Jamison, please forgive me for talking about the topic more broadly. If any of this does not apply to you, please ignore. If any of this derails your thread, please course correct.

I look at callings from the following lens: 1) It is a way to contribute to my church community. 2) It is a way to be included in my church community. 3) It is a way to share the burden with people that I respect that do a lot.

1) It is a way to contribute. Tithing is a thorny issue for me. Volunteering some of my time and energy seems like something I can do in a sustainable way.
2) It is a way to be included. I believe that people that do not hold a calling have an extra barrier to feeling included in church. I submit that in the LDS church much of the social connection happens as people work side by side together in callings.
3) It is a way to relieve some of the burden from the same 10 people/families that seem to do most of the work. I really admire my bishop and would like to help him run the ward in some small way.

I must also be careful with this last reason. I believe that the church will let you put all your available free time and energy into it if you do not show some self restraint. The more you give the more other people depend on you and the more that they would be "let down" if you were to step away.

This is why for me it is important to have personal boundaries that are politely but firmly communicated. I do not accept any calling regardless of my personal circumstances. I also retain the right to step away from a calling if needed. Because one of my points in accepting callings at all is to help share the burden of running the ward, it is important to me to treat the other volunteers with respect and not leave them in the lurch. For this reason if I do need to step away from my calling I will work hard to give adequate notice and help smooth the transition in any way that I can.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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SilentDawning
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by SilentDawning » 31 Jan 2017, 20:27

hawkgrrrl wrote:It sounds like you had a frustrating day. What exactly happened? What was your calling? What went wrong?
This is my set of questions. Can you elaborate? In my musician/band circles we call this a rage quit. Would like to know the details...and perhaps help you ease the situation if you would like that.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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jamison
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by jamison » 02 Feb 2017, 21:07

I don't want to get into too much detail on here. I have messaged some individually where I provided more detail into the gist of what happened. The good news is that I am meeting with the Bishop this Sunday before church. I am a little scared and apprehensive though, since I don't know whether I will be reprimanded, or manipulated into staying in my calling. Now that I am having a face-to-face with the Bishop, my prior plan must be set aside. I know I will be scrutinized and that I may even be the brunt of some gossip in some circles since the Bishop is not the only one who knows. However, I don't really care, I am planning on moving out of the ward this year and will start fresh somewhere else.
"Ignorance, fear, and conflict are the basic elements of everyday consciousness" Marvin Harris -- Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches.

Old-Timer
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Re: quit my calling today

Post by Old-Timer » 07 Feb 2017, 17:15

You can't be manipulated into staying in your calling if you simply refuse to stay in it.

I mention this a lot, but the Book of Mormon says we are to be agents unto ourselves - and that there's must be opposition in ALL things. You have to do what you believe is best - and, while, that often includes considering the impact of your actions on others, it ultimately has to boil down to worshiping according to the dictates of your own conscience.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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