Roy, thanks for your posts!
Shawn wrote:I was thinking last night about how my wife and kids will repeatedly hear references to a "worthy priesthood holder" and "eternal families" at church. I will be supplanted as the father figure in the family....
Shawn, this seems like extreme thinking to me.
The church does not get to tell you or your family that you are not a "worthy priesthood holder" or that your family is not an "eternal family" and especially not that my marriage "just can't work".
Well, I don't consider myself to be either a worthy or unworthy priesthood holder because I don't believe the priesthood is real, and I have said this to my wife. The church will continually lead my family to believe that our eternal togetherness is in jeopardy, and I can't stop that. It's held over our heads as a tool to get us to pray, pay, and obey. My wife has been horrified about our eternal status as a family, as I once was, while hundreds of millions of other Christians don't seem to fret over it.
Roy wrote:I matter to my family more than the church matters to my family. I tuck them in at night and apply first aid to their injuries. I help them with their homework and cheer for them at their events. The church is just a system - a cold construct. It cannot be a father. You are your children's father.
My wife would choose the church over me for sure. My kids have a different perspective, though.
Roy wrote:As far as churchy stuff goes, I preside in our home (assign prayer duty). I baptized my children even though I haven't paid tithing in years and rarely attend church. I plan to confer the priesthood to my son when he comes of age to pass on the priesthood line of authority I inherited from my father.
I usually don't lead in family prayer because I don't want my family to do it at all right now. I still pray by myself, but not in the Mormon way. I usually start out with something like, "Oh God of the universe, if there is a God...." I ordained my son a few months ago, but I spoke from my heart and didn't believe God was guiding me at all. The funny thing is that is was just like all the other blessings I've participated in. I do not plan on doing any more ordinances.
Roy wrote:If the purpose of religion is to help us to get through this roller coaster of life, then what aspects of Mormonism would be helpful to you in this life - right here, right now?
I know that not all situations are alike, but I also do not think that it needs to be all in or all out. Peter priesthood RM or open apostate. I have found a measure of peace and sustainability in a middle way.
I only like the social aspect of church. I have great neighbors and I like being with them. However, I'm not going for a middle way. I would resign right this moment if it wouldn't break my wife's heart. I need to StayLDS at this time for her.