I Came Out To My Wife

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16851
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: I Came Out To My Wife

Post by Curt Sunshine » 24 Sep 2016, 22:41

Consider this, Shawn:

Does your wife think you didn't take a position?

You gave it to her. If she thinks you took a position, you took a position.

It's like the wise saying:
If someone says you hurt them, you don't get to decide you didn't.
Having said that, I appreciate your last comment. You are a good person at heart. Don't let your frustration cause you to lose that.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

amateurparent
Posts: 953
Joined: 19 Jan 2014, 20:43

Re: I Came Out To My Wife

Post by amateurparent » 25 Sep 2016, 13:37

Shawn wrote:

"Thanks for your thoughts, AP. But can I influence my family without manipulating them?"
That is an excellent question. After 31 years, I still cannot influence DH to fold towels in a way that I find acceptable. We just agree that he doesn't fold towels .. Or fitted sheets.

Seriously, IMHO, all I think you can do is state what you would like to see happen. The other partner can consider that, and say yes or no. Both partners can do that with respect and love.

Seeing my DH leave the church would make my life so much easier in so many ways. There is only one problem. It would be like tearing his very heart and soul away from his body. I would respect him less if he did not stand his ground and set limits on what he is willing to do for me. I want a free-will partner .. Not just a reflection of myself.
I have no advance degrees in parenting. No national credentials. I am an amateur parent. I read, study, and learn all I can to be the best parent possible. Every time I think I have reached expert status with one child for one stage in their life, something changes and I am back to amateur status again. Now when I really mess up, I just apologize to my child, and explain that I am indeed an amateur .. I'm still learning how to do this right.

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