Any Hope or Comfort?

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
Minyan Man
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Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Minyan Man » 26 May 2016, 11:09

Shawn, I don't know if this is similar to what you're experiencing or not: My wife is dealing with a number of mental, emotional & physical issues.
She has a good team of Doctors that she works with. A General Practitioner, A Psychiatrist and A Psychologist. They work together as a
team to treat the physical and psychological issues together. We have learned that if she doesn't see her "team", take her medication and
get normal amounts of rest, there is no hope or comfort. She seems to have a handle on it. She seems at peace again. It hasn't been easy.

This is my opinion only, we have to take care of ourselves, learn to trust others (Doctors, support groups, etc) before we can deal with the
spiritual &/or religious side of our life. I've had similar (yet different) situations like you're going through. It can take time.
Or, It may come quickly. You never really know.

I wish you well, my friend. Keep in touch.

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SilentDawning
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Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by SilentDawning » 27 May 2016, 02:24

Consider keeping your faith general...rather than believing in a specific form of God, or even Christ, hope for those things without setting your heart on it or REQUIRING it to be true to produce comfort.

Have faith that God will make things right in the end. I have faith that after this life is over, good things will happen to me for the sacrifices I have made in this life. For the goodness of my heart, that God will overlook many of my sins that are the result of my own weakness, my frustration in changing those weaknesses, or my life's circumstances. Keep it very general and at that level, and don't tie any Church-related "shoulds" to it.

I think that provides a degree of help and hope and happiness.

This sounds kind of morbid, but this next attitude conditioner also brings me peace. I sort of look forward to the day that I pass on from this life as I have hope that at that time, many good things will happen -- freedom from my body for one, which torments me in a number of ways with health related and other concerns daily. I think the body has a big impact on depression, and to know we will be free of our bodies for a while in the next life is a source of hope for me of better days and more comfort.

There will be a new set of circumstances to figure out, and there HAS to be some indication of whether what we hear at church is true when we pass on to the next life. If we are STILL in the dark about most things, or find that we DO have bodies before the resurrection, or if there is no evidence of "spirit prison and spirit paradise" without doing mental gymnastics, I will take that as evidence a lot of the doctrine from JS was made up. If there are clear indications those places exist, then great, it will help increase my faith. So, when they day comes that I move on to the next phase of existence (through natural means, I would not take my own life), I think I will be closer to the truth. So, I look forward to that day.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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Shawn
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Joined: 07 Jun 2012, 14:22
Location: Utah

Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Shawn » 07 Jun 2016, 11:26

I really appreciate everyone's posts and I'm sorry for not responding more. I have been camping for much of the last 10 days, which has been good for me.
FaithfulSkeptic wrote:I, like you, am looking for comfort and hope from those that have gone down this path before and made it to a better place. I want to be able to reconcile the pain and anguish that is tearing my soul apart and find peace. I'm trying to hold on and find a way to have very nuanced beliefs and practices that work for me, but I don't know how much longer I can hang on. Perhaps this is not the path for me to find peace after all.
Yes, I think we are going through similar struggles. I feel like I can't hang on much longer, but quitting the church is a woeful option for me because it would hurt my wife and kids and because I live in Utah County. I'm stuck.

Minyan Man, I would really like to live without seeing doctors for mental health issues, but maybe that won't work for me. I am thinking of calling my doctor.

Maybe there are people who used to post on this forum who found peace and no longer come here.

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Shawn
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Location: Utah

Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Shawn » 07 Jun 2016, 12:51

SilentDawning, I am thinking about what you wrote. I once had faith and hope in the afterlife, but now I'm just afraid.

I'm quite sure my depression and anxiety are made worse by this faith crisis.

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FaithfulSkeptic
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Joined: 06 Jun 2014, 09:04

Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by FaithfulSkeptic » 07 Jun 2016, 13:39

Shawn wrote:Yes, I think we are going through similar struggles. I feel like I can't hang on much longer, but quitting the church is a woeful option for me because it would hurt my wife and kids and because I live in Utah County. I'm stuck.
Shawn, I've found a lot of relief in the last week or so by finally admitting to myself that I don't believe. I don't have to admit that to anyone else that would not understand, but it has been tremendously helpful for me to just admit it to myself. I no longer have to try to do the mental gymnastics to make things work for me. In spite of what my DW, church leaders, or others think I should believe or do, I get to choose what works for me. I will be there (at least for now) on Sundays to support my wife and family, but I don't need to believe anything that doesn't sit right with me. Like Holy Cow said in another forum, I get to choose what I believe. My faith is my own and it is personal and private to me.

I realize this might not work for you (it was hard for me to get to this point), but it has made a world of difference to me to just give myself permission to believe what feels right to me, and not worry about what anyone else thinks. My beliefs are mine and are personal and sacred. I can still embrace the things that feel good to me about Mormonism, but I don't have to embrace it all, even if I am pretty orthoprax.
I know of no sign on the doors of our meetinghouses that says, “Your testimony must be this tall to enter.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2014

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Shawn
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Joined: 07 Jun 2012, 14:22
Location: Utah

Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Shawn » 31 Jul 2016, 09:43

Life sure would be easier right now if I could believe again. Then my wife and I could have religious harmony.

By the way, I started taking meds again a couple weeks ago. I lasted nine months without them. I am taking something that works immediately to increase dopamine and norepinephrine, so it's been nice. I really don't want to be dependent on meds, but I am. That's that.
Last edited by Shawn on 06 Jan 2020, 13:05, edited 1 time in total.

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Heber13
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Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Heber13 » 31 Jul 2016, 10:59

When you find truth, Shawn, it becomes easy again. It is hard when we are pushing against the flow of things. Sometimes we need to push through changes, but God wants us to find ways so that we can have harmony in common beliefs, regardless of various perspectives on it.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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dande48
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Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by dande48 » 31 Jul 2016, 19:20

I've heavily struggled with anxiety and depression, until recently. Meds didn't do it for me. Priesthood blessings didn't do it for me.
But after decades of exhausting every possible solution, do you know what finally did?

Cold showers.

I kid not. I have as strong of a testimony of taking ice cold showers. It was painful the first couple of days, but now I crave them. They have made me more energetic, vibrant, level headed... Golly, I feel wonderful! It's better than anything I've ever tried. It really helped me regain a clear head, and now I feel I am FINALLY able to tackle this faith crisis head on!
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

Minyan Man
Posts: 1999
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Minyan Man » 31 Jul 2016, 19:27

How did you discovery cold showers? Did find out on your own? Did someone else tell you about it?

Just curious.

Sometimes the best solutions are the simplest. I'm glad it helped you.

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Any Hope or Comfort?

Post by Curt Sunshine » 01 Aug 2016, 09:23

We live in a time when we have multiple options to deal with debilitating issues of many kinds, and medicine is one of those legitimate options.

We simply have to let go of the stigma associated with medicine for issues that aren't manifested physically in obvious ways - that are centered in the mind. Depression for some people is no different in that way from diabetes, and no person with a brain and a heart would tell a Type I diabetic like my son not to take insulin - or tell my mother she should not have taken medicine for her schizophrenia.

I am not saying you must take medicine, Shawn - bit please don't feel weak or wrong or faithless in any way if that happens to be your best solution.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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