When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
momto11
Posts: 93
Joined: 18 Oct 2012, 12:56

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by momto11 » 04 Jan 2014, 23:23

Well, it seems that my daughter is obviously not the only teenager/adult to act this way. I talked to a friend who's daughter has already gotten her mission call, and she said her daughter has been acting the same way for a while. She said they even invited her to leave-----it made her pull her horns in a little. My only other missionary has been my oldest daughter, who went when she was 21. She had been more mature than any of my other kids from about 3rd grade on up. Guess I need to remember that they are all individuals, love them for seeking independence, and hope that one day my daughter will choose to talk to us a little more.

Thanks

Harmony
Posts: 120
Joined: 02 Sep 2013, 01:12

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by Harmony » 05 Jan 2014, 00:02

I don't have anyone getting ready for a mission, but when our daughter was a senior and preparing to leave for college, she went from easygoing to more difficult. It doesn't sound like unusual behavior to me, as I have had many friends experience the same attitude from their older children. I think it is part of the separating process, and while it is stressful and annoying, I don't think it is particularly out of the ordinary. The other good thing is that if they are annoying and inconsiderate before they leave it makes it easier to see them go. : ) If they were wonderful up to the last minute it would be a lot more difficult as a parent to send them off.

Good luck.

momto11
Posts: 93
Joined: 18 Oct 2012, 12:56

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by momto11 » 06 Jan 2014, 12:34

Harmony---I will remember what you said---because I have really struggled with my children growing up and leaving home---thanks!

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GodisLove
Posts: 114
Joined: 09 Apr 2013, 11:02

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by GodisLove » 06 Jan 2014, 14:26

Harmony wrote:The other good thing is that if they are annoying and inconsiderate before they leave it makes it easier to see them go.
I tried to remember this everyday when my same aged daughter left for college last fall. She is/was a super great kid who drove me crazy in the end. Similar issues with respecting my property and time. She has had some very real life lessons in the last few months and I can already see a difference (sometimes) in how she sees things. It has been much easier to discuss things when I have been able to point out the consequences of her previous decision.

She keeps coming home and keeps talking to us as parents, so I guess she only hates our property? Joking, but it does make me nervous. She is the first of five.........
Not one Sparrow is forgotten
E'en the raven God will feed
And the lily of the valley
From His bounty hath its need

Then shall I not trust Thee, Father
In Thy mercy have a share?
And through faith and prayer, my Mother
Merit Thy protecting care?
Shaker Hymnal 1908

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On Own Now
Posts: 1774
Joined: 18 Jan 2012, 12:45

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by On Own Now » 06 Jan 2014, 14:54

GodisLove wrote:She has had some very real life lessons in the last few months and I can already see a difference (sometimes) in how she sees things.
Right... Life experiences are part of the maturation process. I know for me, I went from living at home where my mom and dad took care of the details of my life to living with only my comp and me to supervise ourselves living in a foreign country and speaking a foreign language and dealing with major human issues of poverty, faith, family, spirituality, mortality, marriage, and God. I was not as ready to be a missionary when I went out as I was ready to be an adult when I got home.
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“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ― Carl Jung
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"Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another." ― Romans 14:13
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momto11
Posts: 93
Joined: 18 Oct 2012, 12:56

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by momto11 » 07 Jan 2014, 15:51

You all have been great--I appreciate so much the things you have told me. I am able to see things a little better and realize that my daughter is probably pretty normal---I think I just got really spoiled with my older girls----we used to just sit and talk--it was something I wanted to do because my mother was so busy she didn't seem to have the time to just sit and talk with us. My oldest daughter was every mother's dream of a baby, and stayed that way right on up to going on her mission---we felt like there a little bit of holier than thou attitude when she came home--but that is probably a little normal, too.

I am greatful that my 18 yr old is talented and spiritual, and has had good friends. She is gifted and graduated in the top 10 of her class with quite a few college credits and was awarded her first years tuition at BYU. You all have helped me to remember these things and worry a little less about the other things.

Four of our 11 children are inactive---2 of them cannot drive right now because of DUIs----and I am worrying about a good kid that won't talk to me?????

Thanks!

Roy
Posts: 6217
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: When is a child really ready to go on a mission?

Post by Roy » 07 Jan 2014, 15:57

I remember being self-centered as a youth.

I remember needing a backpack for something. When I found one I dumped out the contents and used it. After the need passed, I decided that I liked it and kept it for my purposes.

I could provide perhaps a half dozen similar examples.

Remembering these examples from my own life help me to realize A) that it is somewhat developmentally appropriate to be self centered and inconsiderate for a time and B) that I am not failing as a parent if my child acts in this way.

That doesn't mean that I take abuse. I will remind my child of our standards of behavior even when it doesn't appear to be sinking in.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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