I try to get to know my children and fulfill their needs. Unfortunately I have my own limitations that create parameters to my parenting style. Because I cannot be all things to my kids, I try to focus on being the best me (as father) that I can. Your children get you! For better or worse, share of yourself with them! I also try to enjoy the ride of discovering new facets and expressions of who my children are.
So in asking about the church, I would say that it depends. You may have children that thrive in the high expectations, internal locus of control, competitive environment that modern Mormonism seems to foster. (I also think that the LDS system tends to be better for YM than for YW) OTOH, I have said to my wife that if any of our children declared themselves to be gay - I would get them as far from the church as possible.
We participate in multiple Christian churches in our area. I remember after a program at the SDA church (Seventh Day Adventist) I picked my 7 year old up from the childcare and she told me that Saturday was the correct day to go to church as commanded by God in Genesis. DW and I explained that our family and church group goes to church on Sunday to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. My daughter said, "Oh ok, but they have a good point about the Saturday/Sabbath commandment don’t they?" I told her that it was a very good point and that sometimes people can see things differently and both have very good reasons for why they see it the way that they do.Ray Degraw wrote:It's important to me to raise independent thinkers, even if they end up thinking differently than I do - and the debriefing actually helps me accomplish that.
To be honest, exposing my children to different ways of doing things is kinda scary as the possibility is there for them to reject our way of doing things in favor of another. OTOH, I hope to have smart, well adjusted kids, that are well equipped to process and thrive in diversity.
There was an article in the February Ensign that was very supportive of participating in the youth programs of other churches. The title was “We joined in” and I wrote a post about it here: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3867&hilit=+town&start=10