My release came

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My release came

Post by Butters » 20 Dec 2010, 15:02

I knew it was coming, but I don't think I was ready for it when the bishopric finally called me in to tell me that I was being released from young women. The bishopric member that talked to me about it is one of the nicest guys I have ever met. He was very sweet about it and said how many girls lives I have changed for good during these last 6 years. I cried and cried through the whole thing because it really does break my heart to leave these girls. I have loved, loved, loved working in the young women (cwald, I accept the virtual YW calling) and I really don't know how change my thinking to something else. I will be released next week.

Since he reduced me to a blubbering mess I wasn't able to talk much about the next part of our interview. They asked me to take a call in the primary teaching the 7 year olds. I didn't want to take it because I don't feel that is a good age for me to be teaching since they are getting ready to be baptized. How am I supposed to teach some of these lessons that I don't really agree with? I figured that I would have to be led by the spirit but I am still thinking this isn't a good fit for me. AND I was really hoping to not have a calling for a bit so I could sort myself out a little better.

Any advice on this new calling?
Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up.

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Re: My release came

Post by Curt Sunshine » 20 Dec 2010, 16:15

My wife served as YW Pres. for 4 years - and she also was heartbroken when she was released. She now is the younger girls' activity days leader - so she is working with the same general age group as you would be in Primary. There still are challenges, but she absolutely adores those children - fwiw.

My selfish side says take it and teach them the heart of the Gospel. There is SO much you can do within the framework of pretty much any lesson that is good and right and beautiful and uplifting . . .

However, that has to be your call. Just don't decide based on a negative (what you think right now you "won't" be able to teach). What if you had taken that tack 6 years ago, if your crisis has occurred then? Those girls would have missed out on YOU, and that would have been a shame.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Re: My release came

Post by SilentDawning » 20 Dec 2010, 18:07

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Just teach what you agree with. Skip the stuff you don't.

2. Take a weekend off and get a substitute for your class on the topic you have trouble teaching. I did that myself last month it was a great way to bypass the tithing lesson, as well as the Sabbath Day one I'm not great at living.

3. Turn the period into more of a quiet activity period. Teach the stuff you feel good about, and then reinforce those good things with activities that have learning, memory or review in them. Activities really fill up time.

4. Send stuff home with the kids as a suggested family home evening instead of teaching it yourself. Consider team teaching a lesson where someone comes in and helps you with a principle you don't have the heart for.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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Re: My release came

Post by cwald » 20 Dec 2010, 20:04

I don't have any good advice for you. I teach youth sunday school - but two of the four kids are my own, one is the BP's kid who is younger anyway and a bit "slow" and can't really follow what's going on in class much, and the other one comes from an inactive family who wouldn't know any better --- so my classes are VERY NOMish and no one knows or cares.

I think this is a great question though - and I know that jwald has talked about it with me several times. She is the Primary President, and has a pretty good handle on how she approaches it and reconciles the cog-dis. I will ask her to respond to this thread.
  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

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Re: My release came

Post by Heber13 » 20 Dec 2010, 22:02

I felt similar when I was released from YM 2 hrs ago, although I knew the bishop was inspired to allow me to focus more at home in my circumstances...and when they called me to the primary, they had me team teach with another guy. We traded weeks and that allowed me to have a break every other week.

Would your bishopric consider that arrangement for you? It worked out good for me, and I found it easier to do what SD said, and skip around on things I felt I needed to.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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Re: My release came

Post by canadiangirl » 20 Dec 2010, 23:10

Callings are tricky. Right now I feel that I couldn't teach anything. I use to enjoy teaching and thought I did a good job of it. Now, I don't know if I could take the time to work through the cog dis on every lesson. It might be a good way for me to come to terms with a lot of things but I don't think I'm ready for that. Can you look at the ordinance of baptism as symbolic instead of literal? That is how I resolved some of the cog dis when we baptized my youngest in November. I saw it as a way for my son to commit to living a good life and to committing to emulating Christ which in my eyes is a very good thing. Its a great opportunity to teach symbolism and metaphor and that teaching is completely in line with church doctrine.

The hard part with accepting a calling is that it is hard to get out of it if things aren't working out. At least it is for me. Usually leadership doesn't like to accept someones request to be released. At least that has been my experience.


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Re: My release came

Post by Butters » 21 Dec 2010, 13:39

Great suggestions! Thank you!

I will give it a go and see how it works out. If it doesn't then I am sure that I will have a lengthy talk with the bishop about some of this and get myself released or get me a co-teacher (great idea, Heber).

I also didn't mention anything with this particular bishopric member because his wife is a good friend of mine. She has told me that he gets worried when we do things with our mutual anti friend. So I would hate for him to have any reason to have her not be around me too.

SD, I think the idea of taking the Sunday "off" is a great one, but I don't know how it would go over with my husband. I am sure in the summer I could plan some camping or something, but I think I would get a lot of crap during the winter. :(
Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up.

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Re: My release came

Post by jwald » 21 Dec 2010, 14:00

It was quite a shift in thinking for me when they released me from YW and called me to our very small and inconsistently attended primary. The whole shift to "black and white" thinking that is required in primary was hard because it was much easier for me to teach teens who are starting/have reached the point where they realize "black and white" is not how everything operates.
I teach sharing time every week and help out teaching the combined CTR/Valiant class when my TBM counselor is out of town. I pick and choose my lessons whenever possible but when there are things I must teach that I may not agree with, I am able to teach with out too much hesitation when I shift my thinking a little. I can teach tithing when I emphasize how we should do it to help others and downplay/skip the "obey at all costs" and "fire insurance" aspect of it. When WoW lessons come up I make sure to emphasize that people who don't follow the WoW aren't bad but may have habits that aren't good for them. I also make sure to talk about things like eating healthy which is also part of the WoW and point out that even though they may go on a "candy binge" from time to time this does not make them bad people. :o I always sprinkle plenty of reminders throughout my lessons that when Heavenly Father sent us here he knew we would make mistakes. That's why he sent the Savior to us :D
So far I have not set my TBM counselor off with my sharing times but she does tend to "matter of factly" emphasize points I purposefully skip from time to time :roll:
But I also realize how "black and white" the under 10 age group tends to be and figure she's doing me a favor.

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Re: My release came

Post by flower » 21 Dec 2010, 16:40

I LOVE teaching primary. (and I love the 7 year olds!) I have spent many years as a primary teacher, or in the presidency. I've done a lot of sharing times. Most of the years I took a very unorthodox approach and I have never had a problem about it with other leaders or parents.

I actually always felt good knowing that these kids were getting these lessons from me vs. a hardcore TBM teacher. (I still have memories of coming home in tears from primary because I was taught that any bad treatment blacks received in this life was justified because they were less valiant spirits in heaven. I remember crying about it because I was worried that if any of the other kids knew this they would be mean to the black girl in my class at school.)

Skipping a class that you are uncomfortable teaching means that the kids will get that same lesson taught by someone with possibly a more black and white approach. I would rather be the one teaching the tough lessons. I have never had a problem with putting a softer spin on any lesson, and have never been called out for it.
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." ~Rudyard Kipling

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