Sad about possessions lost

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SilentDawning
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Sad about possessions lost

Post by SilentDawning » 15 Nov 2021, 00:35

I moved recently. As part of the move, I either had stolen from my vacant first home or damaged by movement, about $5000 worth of possessions, either woodworking or musical instruments/equipment. A small percent of it was insured (I hope), but most of it wasn't insured for breakage.

It has me thinking about possessions. I'm REALLY sad about the losses and the cost of replacing the items that were either broken or stolen. Possessions are so fragile. They break a lot and are expensive to move, insure and repair. I'm getting to the point I'm wishing I was without them. The problem is that it leaves you with so little to do.

What role do possessions play in your life? And would you be sad if you lost a big chunk of them as I have?
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Roy
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Re: Sad about possessions lost

Post by Roy » 15 Nov 2021, 09:36

Congratulations on the move. That is always an accomplishment.

I am sorry about the lost or damaged items.

Sometimes I get real down about losing or damaging something that is really pretty small. I even remind myself that it is not worth stressing over. That helps a little sometimes. I think something it helps a little more is to remind myself that I am ok and that my family is ok. I hug my family and tell them that I love them (bonus points if they say that they love me back). I can purchase more things if that is what I choose to do.

I find that it is easier to recover from something if it is resolved faster. The resolution doesn't need to be positive - just that the situation is over and I do not need to worry or stress over it anymore. For example, we had a rental home that was destroyed by water damage and mold and the resolution took almost 6 months of costs (yes, we had insurance and they did cover a portion). I would have much preferred to take the financial hit all at once and then forget about it.

I have heard good things about the minimalist movement. I think that the idea goes that if you pour less of your energy into possessing things, you can pour more of yourself into relationships and experiences. Because, after all, none of the things go with you when we die. I say this as someone that is still very attached to my things but I find the concept intriguing.
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Minyan Man
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Re: Sad about possessions lost

Post by Minyan Man » 15 Nov 2021, 13:08

First of all SD, I am sorry for your loss. There are certain possessions that have meaning in your life.

What role do possessions play in your life?
There are certain possessions that are important in my life. They would include:
My house.
My retirement account (IRA)
My photographs of family & friends. (They can be recreated.) They are backed up electronically.
My Family History. (They can be recreated.) It is backed up electronically.
There is another category that I know will be lost over time. Anything that depreciates. (eg. My car.)

And would you be sad if you lost a big chunk of them as I have?
Absolutely. I watch the news & wonder sometimes what it would be like to loss everything in a fire like the brush
fires in California.

I wonder sometimes if I am too concerned about the things I've accumulated & not enough about the spiritual
side. There isn't an easy answer. It sounds like the items you've described are "one of a kind" & not easily replaced.
This would hurt the most, I'm sure.

SD, I wish you well on your journey. I envy that you have moved & starting a new chapter in your life.

nibbler
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Re: Sad about possessions lost

Post by nibbler » 15 Nov 2021, 14:45

I know what it's like. I lost most of my possessions during a move when I was a kid. Those were never replaced, I guess there were other priorities. I was pretty devastated.

We also had a very bad luck streak with cars. We ended up spending as much money on repairs as a newer car would have cost us. It creates a feeling of futility, all of our money goes towards keeping cars running just so we can make money... to keep the cars running.

What role do possessions play in your life? And would you be sad if you lost a big chunk of them as I have?

There are possessions and there are possessions. Some truly are of the variety where they can be replaced with the sting being limited to the cost of replacement. Others possessions can contribute to our identities.

You mentioned woodworking and musical instruments/equipment. Those are things used to create and express ourselves. I think we have a stronger sense of attachment to things like that as opposed to say... a really expensive TV.

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DarkJedi
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Re: Sad about possessions lost

Post by DarkJedi » 15 Nov 2021, 15:27

When I was in my early teens we had a devastating flood. We literally lost everything, including our home which floated about a quarter mile down river. We had the car and what we had on as we evacuated. We also had each other. We were by no means rich - lower middle class, perhaps even upper lower class (the home was a mobile home). Yes, I was sad. But in perspective it was just stuff, some of which was irreplaceable.

In my heart/mind I could probably adapt to a minimalist lifestyle - I lived it for a while (several months living in a camper trailer after the flood).

I'm not trying to minimalize anyone's loss, and I was affected by ours - but in the end it's just stuff and it's stuff that I won't have (and probably won't care about) in the next life.
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Old-Timer
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Re: Sad about possessions lost

Post by Old-Timer » 05 Dec 2021, 17:45

It would devastate my wife. She isn’t tied to the possession, per se; she is tied to the memories they represent.

I want to downsize drastically, so it wouldn’t bother me much, if at all. I don’t get tied to things, generally.
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LDS_Scoutmaster
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Re: Sad about possessions lost

Post by LDS_Scoutmaster » 04 Jan 2022, 16:14

So sorry SD. It sucks to lose anything.

I would feel it is more devastating to me if they may have been stolen, than damaged. I've been robbed before, there's nothing like the idea that someone went through your things with disregard for what you consider valuable and took what they wanted.
The role possessions play in my life
I have to much stuff. I am decluttering and reprioritizing what is and it's not important. I held on to things for years thinking that one day someone would want them and realized that I was the only one that cared about them.
I'm horribly sentimental. I have a lot of items that have no value whatsoever, even for reuse, but I keep them for the memories.
Coming off of Christmas, I realize we should have Boxing Day like Canada.
Would I be devastated
I can say I've thought about taking a match to everything I have and starting over. I know I don't realize just how hard that would be to go through, and I would never do it, but it is the response to feeling overwhelmed with all the junk I have.
Sorry answer is I would probably be devastated for a while, then eventually I would see the silver lining as my way of dealing with any tragedy.

It sucks to lose anything.
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