When F&T goes wrong

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Old-Timer
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by Old-Timer » 25 Mar 2021, 12:33

There is an old thread on a blog called "Mormon Mommy Wars" that is LONG and absolutely hilarious: Adventures in Arizona.

Look it up if you want to laugh so hard you pee.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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SamBee
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by SamBee » 26 Mar 2021, 16:12

hawkgrrrl wrote:
24 Mar 2021, 15:05
When I was a missionary, we were visiting a family that was partly active. Their adult daughter was there, and she normally didn't go to Church, and I mentioned that the next day was F&T meeting. She threw her head back and laughed right in my face: "Why on earth would I want to go to that? They're all the same. People blubbering on about the same things over and over." Honestly, I pretty much agreed with her, so I didn't push it. I just thought it was kind of refreshing to have someone say the truth for once.
Thankfully we don't get the waterworks in our ward often these days. I've never understood why something people say they love and enjoy would make them look as if they've just been spanked by a hairbrush. We've also lost the I know crowd - I always found them very formulaic.

I definitely have noticed differences between wards... And branches, well they tend to have a limited stock of speakers.

Quaker meetings seem to resemble F&T. Someone talks when they feel inspired. Some of them are boring.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

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SamBee
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by SamBee » 27 Mar 2021, 02:57

https://www.timesandseasons.org/harchiv ... -but-true/

(First part is not F&T but I include it anyway)
The bishopric appeared pleased that Sister Somewhat-less-active agreed to speak in sacrament meeting on her favorite topic, family history. But they must have been surprised when she announced, “I may not come to church much, but I’m d*!# good at family history.” She continued her talk, liberally sprinkled with the “nice” swear words, but the bishop turned white when one of her concluding statements was that she thinks “family history is bi#$@-in’.”

I don’t necessarily wish my young, impressionable children had been there for that, but you can be dang sure I’m adding it to my collection. I was in attendance at a fast and testimony meeting when a sister from South America bore her testimony about how disrespectful and immodest Americans are for allowing their children to wear pants to the primary program practice in the chapel. Apparently, it is a casual practice that would never happen in her home country. The testimony was long (10 or so minutes) and quite in-depth. The next sister to the pulpit announced that she “couldn’t agree more,” and bore her testimony about how too many women don’t wear pantyhose to church, a casual practice as disrespectful as wearing flip-flops. It was after that lengthy testimony that the bishop felt he needed to get up and explain that he wasn’t “one to know about women’s pantyhose,” but he was sure “we were all trying to be respectful and reverent in our buildings and will try harder.”

Well, at least no one fell asleep that day.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

Minyan Man
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by Minyan Man » 27 Mar 2021, 07:28

I never thought I would say this but: I would of paid money to attend those F&T meetings.
Just to see the faces on the stand & to hear the conversations after the meeting.

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bridget_night
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by bridget_night » 28 Mar 2021, 17:06

Arrakeen wrote:
11 Mar 2021, 11:50
As a missionary I always dreaded Fast and Testimony Meeting. You just knew someone would get up and say things that would offend your investigators and they would never want to come back. Like when someone rails about modesty while you have investigators there dressed as most normal non-church members do... yeah we did not appreciate those kinds of "testimonies".
I used to fear that too as a missionary. I served in Austria and I recalled a F& T meeting where a German man got up and talked about how lucky his Austrian fiancé was to have found such a superior German man as himself to be her future husband. The Austrian congregation wanted to rip him apart after the meeting. Many European members would get up and talk about angels they had seen and unusual spiritual experiences that would freak our investigators out. After my mission, we also had unusual testimonies from convert members. One I laugh about was a man who got up and ranted about how bad 'fluoride 'is and was on a health rant. Our bishop standing behind him was a dentist and did not appreciate it. It was entertaining sometimes.

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SamBee
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by SamBee » 29 Mar 2021, 04:15

I'm trying to think of "offensive testimonies", I've heard. Luckily they are infrequent here, but women seem more inclined to give them than men - no idea why that is. Somewhat like attacks on missionaries, it's something I'm surprised doesn't happen more often.

One that used to be common was that someone would complain about the "lack of priesthood holders" offering testimonies, to shame the men into coming up. Again, 9/10 it would be a woman who said this, by the way, not a man. Personally, I couldn't care whether men or women were speaking, just as long as I found it enjoyable. (No small children though - I never "dug" that.)

We used to get an occasional one which dealt with gays. When I say occasional, you're talking once a year if that. None of them were graphic, thank goodness. (We had a similar thing in Sunday School once - not the teacher I might add - but at least one of our members offered her own counter POV.) On the flipside, I've heard rumors from other wards that sometimes LGBT activists have started deep tonguing and groping each other on the stand as some kind of protest - but that's something which is inappropriate for different reasons.

On one occasion, a visitor commented on the number of Chinese converts offering testimony and the lack of locals. Our Chinese converts tend to be students (probably one or two spies - yes, they're around too) and don't stay long. I actually got up after that, offered my own testimony and mentioned in passing how wonderful I thought it was that we had new members from China, especially given the fact that their government had tried to destroy Christianity, and told them that they were extremely welcome here. I also mentioned that salvation was for all God's children and that I prayed against the repression of religion worldwide. I could feel the previous speaker staring daggers at me, but didn't make eye contact with her.

I should add another one. One I believe is common elsewhere, but very rare here. When a single member starts advertizing their availability on the stand. It comes over as desperate. I mean, I'd like to marry a beautiful and good-natured lady too, but you won't see me up there begging.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: When F&T goes wrong

Post by hawkgrrrl » 09 Apr 2021, 11:32

SamBee: There was one guy (and his wife) in a ward I was in decades ago who totally used F&T meeting to lobby for being called as the next bishop. Our current bishop was close to the end of his tenure. He did this the way Mrs. Elton talks about forming a musical club in Emma. He would say, "I know there's a lot of talk that I should be the next bishop, and I wish people would quit saying that. Of course, I would serve in any way I was asked, but it's not a calling I seek after, but clearly I would love any opportunity to help and to serve, even if it had to be something like that. But the nursery would be fine for me, just as noble." It was just gross.

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