I feel your pain brother.
I would also dearly love a checklist to compare against... but that doesn't work because:
a) Who would write it? Prophets or others of God's Messengers would have to write it and prove that it came from God - and we have a REALLY BAD track record with that method...
b) It would be distilling and standardizing the human experience/motivation pattern into one size fits all - and that always worked so well..
c) the "one size fits all" (assuming you could create one that overcomes gender/developmental/generational/MBTI equaivalent type personality differences) would need to span at least several thousand years of human species development...
d) Would I really WANT to be judged against the generic standard when it didn't work for me/launched me out of stage 3?
I decided that my current stance is that through prayer, common sense, knowledge, and choices - I am writing my own personal checklist.