Now the wife of a bishop!

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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LookingHard
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Joined: 20 Oct 2014, 12:11

Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Post by LookingHard » 12 Jan 2018, 17:00

Sheldon wrote:
12 Jan 2018, 15:36
When I was bishop, my wife didn't like all the new "fake" friends she had. She knew they were just her friend because of my calling, After I was released, they all went away, and she was back to her real friends.

We once had a meeting in our stake with just the bishops and a 70, Elder Gillespie. He told use we needed to delegate everything we could, and spend time with our wife and remain gainfully employed. He said that sadly, too many time the bishops were loosing one or both of those things because of their callings. I know two former bishops that divorced because of their calling. He also said that the average time a bishop serves in the church is under 3 years because of the pressure. They want a minimum of 5 years, but its not happening.
I know of 2 bishops that after about 2 years they moved and I am not convinced it wasn't mainly spurred on by getting out of the calling.

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Post by Curt Sunshine » 12 Jan 2018, 17:37

Being a Bishop is hard. I feel for you.

Feel free to use us in whatever way you need.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Heber13
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Location: In the Middle

Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Post by Heber13 » 12 Jan 2018, 20:26

I was thinking along the lines Roadrunner shared. Find some things you can do together or agree to so your needs are still met while he has to do his 2nd job. It is a sacrifice for the whole family, for sure. How you choose to handle it is the lessons we draw from these life experiences.

Now that you've shared how you feel...maybe offer him some ideas how he can best be your husband and make quality and quantity time for you and your family.

He may need you as the rudder to keep him on course and not become unrighteous in the home, regardless how he does on the stand. You're important and he will need you, many times. Perhaps others in the ward will need your views as well. You may have an important role to play there. And it doesn't always have to be to smile and bite your tongue. Be yourself. Choose your path.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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SilentDawning
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Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Post by SilentDawning » 13 Jan 2018, 15:14

Curt Sunshine wrote:
12 Jan 2018, 17:37
Being a Bishop is hard. I feel for you.

Feel free to use us in whatever way you need.
I wish there was an "extreme like button" for Curt's post above...
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

My introduction: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1576

Roy
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Re: Now the wife of a bishop!

Post by Roy » 14 Jan 2018, 12:25

QuestionAbound wrote:
11 Jan 2018, 21:10
Even when I broke down and told him that I feel like his heart is no longer mine and that I am not at all in this part of his life and that I feel alone, he blamed me for not being supportive and for creating this mess in my head.

I'm sure this is a garbled mess on screen. It sure feels like that in my head.
Dumbledore said "Of course it is all in your head, but that does not make it any less real."

I remember my uncle getting called to the bishopric. Before this happened a number of things went wrong for this family. The husband and wife were both stressed and taking it out on each other. After the calling was extended - they felt that Satan had known that my uncle was going to be asked to do something important in the church and was trying to thwart it. Satan must have planned to get my aunt and uncle to decline the calling for personal and family reasons and thus continue his evil empire.

My aunt and uncle therefore rallied against this evil outside influence and solidified their marriage - determined not to let Satan win.

I remember being super impressed at how the narrative that they (aunt & uncle) used to give meaning to the facts in their experience helped them to change how they felt about those facts.

I am not suggesting that you just blame your troubles on Satan - just pointing out that that different people can see the same events VERY differently.

P.S. I also do not want to minimize real stress and real resource shortages (like quality time). Sometimes we can put a pretty face on those things but they still stink.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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