Same-Sex Attraction + No Testimony = Faith Crisis

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Minyan Man
Posts: 1661
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 13:40

Re: Same-Sex Attraction + No Testimony = Faith Crisis

Post by Minyan Man » 06 Jan 2017, 21:37

I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner. Welcome to our group.
Your story & feelings is similar to others expressed here.
You're among friends. Keep coming back.

Posts: 7
Joined: 02 Nov 2016, 00:57

Re: Same-Sex Attraction + No Testimony = Faith Crisis

Post by Syme » 15 Jan 2017, 18:11

SunbeltRed wrote:Hi Syme -

I don't visit or post in here often anymore, but your story struck a chord with me.

When I was newly married I was in a spot where I needed some comfort about my place in the universe. I prayed, much like you, harder and more openly than I ever had...and silence. It scared me, seriously freaked me out.

10 years later, I consider myself agnostic, I don't really worry about whether there is a God or not. I figure if there is one, he loves us and will do right in the end, if there isn't, well then when I'm dead it won't matter anymore. Not exactly the most comforting thought probably, but my larger point is, right now the questions are consuming you, but it gets better. The existential angst may not leave entirely, but you will figure out a way to deal with it, make sense of it, work with it, and forge a new path forward.

That path may be in mormonism, it may not (mine is currently a path of disengagement), but either way, you will get to own it. Hang on until you graduate, and then if you feel you need to, take a sabbatical, explore some different religions, see how feel, reevaluate, and then move forward from there.

Best of luck,

Thank you for the answer. It looks like you know what existential pain is. So many other people don't know what I'm talking about because either they believe in an afterlife or don't care much about the meaning of life. But I'm glad to hear it gets better.
Monkeymom wrote:This is my first time posting so if totally inappropriate I apologize. But if I may offer a different approach. I'm heterosexual so I'm not going to pretend to understand but I do know a few things that have changed my life dramatically when it comes to God and life's experiences.

1- start looking at God from a different perspective, not just the LDS perspective.
2- look into eastern practices and perspectives of the universe. This helped form my opinion on God in unquic ways.
3-Emanuel Swedenborg- his writings or you tube videos "off the left eye" channel. His ideas on God, heaven, reason for life, reason for his stuff made a ton more sense. I still don't agree with all of it and he might be crazy. But I still appreciate the change of perspective.
4- Gregg Braden has some books and ideas that have really helped my idea of who God is and why we experience what we do. Very interesting.

Maybe a crisis of faith means a new perspective is needed. Hopefully you'll find some helpful resources. At any rate I have nothing but serious respect for you and your journey.
Not inappropriate at all. Thank you.

Posts: 25
Joined: 22 Mar 2017, 18:01

Re: Same-Sex Attraction + No Testimony = Faith Crisis

Post by NotYourMollyMormon » 28 Mar 2017, 21:23


Your story really stuck out to me. My brother struggled with his faith when he came out in high school.

My brother asked himself the same questions as you did. He felt much like you did too regarding God. Unfortunately, my mother did a poor job of providing love to my brother during that time. Since we grew up associating our mother and her "teachings" with church/Christianity - my brother grew up with a lot resentment towards her. He couldn't understand how we were being taught one thing (to not judge, to love one another, to trust God, etc.), and our mother was doing the exact opposite.

In addition, he shared with me that he never felt the spirit. He would pray and "nothing would happen." He resented the leaders of the church for treating him differently because he was gay. He shared with me that after mom told the bishop he was gay, he was pretty much told that he couldn't do anything. My brother could attend church, but only if he didn't practice his homosexuality. That was really difficult to hear for him because he felt completely unwanted and that he had no place. He would always ask - Why would a church teach us to love and accept everyone, but if you are gay, you are only loved and accepted by not being yourself?

After a while, he concluded that there was no way there can be a God because all of these things were happening at home and church..and announced to our family that he was an atheist.

I know that wasn't really a happy ending, but I honestly believe that had my mother and church leaders/members approached things differently with my brother and his sexuality, the outcome may have been different (who knows). Hopefully you have a solid support system that will help you be your truest self and live a life that you can be proud of. If that means staying LDS - cool. If not - that is cool too.

Posts: 268
Joined: 22 Mar 2017, 12:13

Re: Same-Sex Attraction + No Testimony = Faith Crisis

Post by DoubtingTom » 29 Mar 2017, 07:42

Syme, so sorry you're going through this. I can only imagine but know that you are not alone and everyone here can relate to your story in many ways even if not everything.

I personally think the church is just flat out wrong on its stance towards gay marriage. There needs to be a place in this church where gay marriage is accepted and even encouraged as a way to find fulfillment. The same principles of fidelity and monogamy apply and same-sex marriages can be every bit as fulfilling as heterosexual ones.

Listen to Mormon Stories interview of Dr Bradshaw if you haven't already ( ... ompassion/
Especially where he talks about his son coming out as gay and attending his son's wedding. I think his wife said "every Momon mother deserves to have a gay son." What a wonderful and loving attitude.

I remember years ago when I was fully a TBM, having discussions with my wife about how hard it would be if one of our sons came out as gay. That attitude, I realize now, was not my own conclusion or feelings, but a culmination of the church's closed-minded teachings. Once I explored for myself and had my faith transition, I realized the only thing that would be hard for me having a son come out would be knowing how the world, and especially the church, would treat him. It would be hard only because of my deep love for him, but I would be glad and welcome he is gay as much as any other sexual preference. Funny how as my faith in the church waned, my feelings of love and acceptance for others increased...

I wish you the best in your journey and faith transition. You may not have a reason to stay in this church as your faith transitions, but if you end up with enough social reasons to stay like so many of us have, know that most of us completely disagree with the church's stance on same-sex marriage and look forward to the day when that changes.

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