Yes, this nails it for me! Add to that, the uncaring attitude often displayed towards others who deviate from their opinions. I do not dislike/hate, but I do struggle inwardly with some and wonder if we can all just be thrown away that easy in order for everything to feel comfortable for them. As a convert to the church, I came in with a different set of attitudes and I did not realize just how different for many many years.hawkgrrrl wrote: Second, I think it's because they so often defend things that shouldn't be defended. That's harmful. It causes actual harm. It also substitutes something else for the gospel, and the gospel is supposed to be the common ground. They throw out the baby to keep the bathwater. And if that takes root, what is there to the church?
I know some who are "acting" to stay in good standing (only because we were very close once upon a time). I have watched others transition over years. In my subset of close friends, we had a friend disengage more and more until one day another friend called to tell me our mutual friend was not sure she believed in Christ anymore and was exploring Eastern religions in a very jeering tone of voice. I tried gently to redirect her by expressing my love for our friend. Fast forward a few years. Now the friend who made the phone call to me that day has totally left the church in much anger and bitterness. In a conversation about how "people at church act", I gently reminded her of the phone call about our mutual friend a few years previous. She was flabbergasted at herself and her own behavior. It was an eye opening experience.
I sat in a gospel doctrine class recently and heard others expound on people of other faiths being "saved", etc while comparing to LDS people. I felt the point of the scriptures we were looking at might be more to ask, "Is it I?" I bit my tongue since that would not have been received well if I had spoken it.