G's...

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16831
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: G's...

Post by Curt Sunshine » 21 Jul 2014, 15:03

Thanks for that additional information. It helps put things in context.

That is a very difficult situation, especially if he doesn't take your issues seriously. Do you know a professional whom he would respect enough to listen and be educated about your condition?

Regardless, welcome to our own Island of Misfit Toys.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Roy
Posts: 6142
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: G's...

Post by Roy » 21 Jul 2014, 15:23

ShipwreckLo,

Please see the following thread: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3217&hilit=+garments

It is a discussion of more garment stuff but particularly about how garments can be triggers for body dysmorphic disorders and eating disorders. (not really your situation but some of the same principles apply)

The general consensus (from your StayLDS friends at least) is that psychological health wins out every time. If maintaining your mental health isn’t a good reason to modify the way you follow your religion then I don’t know what is.

Perhaps the bigger problem might be your husband treating these feelings/compulsions as imaginary.

DW and I each have our own quirks that drive some of our behaviors. I might not understand my wife’s motives or always see them as logical – but they are very real and strongly held by her.

It seems like in your marriage there is a barrier to the open free flow of communication – support & understanding that is much bigger than the church stuff. I wish for you to have support & understanding. In all sincerity I believe that you deserve it.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

User avatar
SamBee
Posts: 5530
Joined: 14 Mar 2010, 04:55

Re: G's...

Post by SamBee » 25 Jul 2014, 03:10

The only time I would wear additional underwear is in the depths of winter.

Wearing a bra OVER the top is insane. I'm not a woman but can see that immediately.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

User avatar
MockingJay
Posts: 208
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 06:56
Location: US Southeast

Re: G's...

Post by MockingJay » 25 Jul 2014, 07:19

Two thoughts:

1. My mom has a serious skin condition that comes and goes. When it's flaring up, she can't wear any clothing other than a "Muumuu" (like a loose Hawaiian dress). When this first happened, she was concerned about not wearing her garments. She talked to her bishop and he said, "For heaven's sake, don't wear your garments."

2. Many years ago, I suffered PTSD after a life-threatening event in our family. Before that, I thought for people with PTSD, situational depression or OCD, it was all in their heads. I learned a lesson the hard way. It's hard to understand something you haven't experienced (like PTSD or a FC ;) ), so I can't be too hard on your husband, but I highly recommend that you get counseling together to help him understand. Aside from the garment thing, which seems like just one aspect of the issue, it sounds like it would help you immensely for him to understand that what you're experiencing is very real. FWIW, if I were you, I would think long and hard about doing what was best for my emotional and physical well being.

ShipwreckLo
Posts: 11
Joined: 07 Jul 2014, 17:29

Re: G's...

Post by ShipwreckLo » 08 Sep 2014, 13:44

I realize this post is now old, but I have a few additional things that have recently come up concerning this issue.
1) I was just diagnosed with severe vitamin D deficiency. So now wearing garments is affecting my physical health. I once had a fight with Husband about wearing a tank top while hiking to catch some sun, and he dismissed me, like humans don't need sunshine. I have a desk job, and now when I go outside I am required to be almost completely covered.

2) I finally broached the subject of my OCD and tugging and pulling at my garments all day every day and the anguish it's causing me. It turned into Husband questioning my entire commitment to covenants I've made with God. Had to walk away. I am completely worthy to go to the temple, and in fact was just there on Saturday. Where is the fairness? He doesn't like to get up early for sacrament meeting, and he considers himself more worthy than me?

User avatar
hawkgrrrl
Site Admin
Posts: 3533
Joined: 22 Oct 2008, 16:27

Re: G's...

Post by hawkgrrrl » 08 Sep 2014, 16:40

Wearing a bra OVER the top is insane. I'm not a woman but can see that immediately.
Well, call me crazy. Lots of women do this for a few reasons: 1) it keeps your bra from getting as sweaty, and 2) it "anchors" your garment top in place which has a tendency to float around all over the place otherwise.

User avatar
DarkJedi
Posts: 7214
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: G's...

Post by DarkJedi » 08 Sep 2014, 17:37

hawkgrrrl wrote:
Wearing a bra OVER the top is insane. I'm not a woman but can see that immediately.
Well, call me crazy. Lots of women do this for a few reasons: 1) it keeps your bra from getting as sweaty, and 2) it "anchors" your garment top in place which has a tendency to float around all over the place otherwise.
DW wears her bra on top, too, probably for the same reasons as Hawk.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

User avatar
DarkJedi
Posts: 7214
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: G's...

Post by DarkJedi » 08 Sep 2014, 17:40

ShipwreckLo wrote:I realize this post is now old, but I have a few additional things that have recently come up concerning this issue.
1) I was just diagnosed with severe vitamin D deficiency. So now wearing garments is affecting my physical health. I once had a fight with Husband about wearing a tank top while hiking to catch some sun, and he dismissed me, like humans don't need sunshine. I have a desk job, and now when I go outside I am required to be almost completely covered.
I'm not an expert on Vitamin D deficiency, but am I to understand that because of this you have to be covered when you go outside (despite that we manufacture vitamin D from sunlight)? If so, isn't that a case for wearing garments and not against?
2) I finally broached the subject of my OCD and tugging and pulling at my garments all day every day and the anguish it's causing me. It turned into Husband questioning my entire commitment to covenants I've made with God. Had to walk away. I am completely worthy to go to the temple, and in fact was just there on Saturday. Where is the fairness? He doesn't like to get up early for sacrament meeting, and he considers himself more worthy than me?
We're not marriage counselors - maybe you need to see one?
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roy
Posts: 6142
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: G's...

Post by Roy » 08 Sep 2014, 18:00

ShipwreckLo wrote:2) I finally broached the subject of my OCD and tugging and pulling at my garments all day every day and the anguish it's causing me. It turned into Husband questioning my entire commitment to covenants I've made with God. Had to walk away. I am completely worthy to go to the temple, and in fact was just there on Saturday. Where is the fairness? He doesn't like to get up early for sacrament meeting, and he considers himself more worthy than me?
I do not think that God needs us to be uncomfortable for the sake of being uncomfortable. We are not into self-flagilation or any of the other penance type methods to approach godliness.

Garments are a great idea and have symbolism for many. Kind of like wedding rings - which DW and I both no longer wear. It just became too much of a bother. Our decision to wear them or not to where them has not changed our commitment to each other one iota.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16831
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: G's...

Post by Curt Sunshine » 08 Sep 2014, 18:04

My wife wears her bra over her garments for the exact same reasons Hawk mentioned.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Post Reply