should I stay or should I go

Public forum for those seeking support for their experience in the LDS Church.
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Re: should I stay or should I go

Post by SilentDawning » 18 May 2014, 11:10

I had one the other day. My daughter plunks herself down next to me in my office and says "Daddy, I want you to help me be a millionaire".

I indicated that I had classes to grade, insurance to arrange, a band practice to prepare for, and now, my daughter wants to be a millionaire -- I didn't have time for all that today....

I needed a break :)
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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Re: should I stay or should I go

Post by Curt Sunshine » 18 May 2014, 12:59

Having said all of that, it actually is easier for many people to stay and work on building one's own faith (as hard as that is) than for those people to leave, especially if they want to leave open the possibility of returning to activity later - for lots of different reasons.

If there is real and serious harm being done by staying that can't be controlled or eliminated, that's one thing; if it is anything else, my default response is to stay and work on coping mechanisms until you are comfortable being who you are in the group.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Re: should I stay or should I go

Post by Notchet » 18 May 2014, 19:21

keepswimmin wrote:Hi, I posted in the introduction section earlier, maybe this will get me some more opinions although I enjoyed the others. Can I just take a "step back" for a while.. not feel obligated to church every sunday and be myself for a while? I almost feel I'm being rebellious and need to see if I just need a true break. If you hadn't read my introduction, I'm struggling with WoW and garments.. I feel so overwhelmed and constricted, plus obligations that I feel come with church.

DW and I have found doing church on our own terms to be quite liberating. Being less invested frees us from the guilt. Since voluntarily turning in my TR (see my intro) I no longer feel compelled to wear garments, or attend church weekly. We still like to attend SM a couple times a month to take the sacrament, sing some old familiar hymns (when not sung like funeral dirges), and perhaps hear an inspirational message. Staying home and watching Music and the Spoken Word has become an uplifting and inspirational way to worship. (the music cannot be beat, the images from nature are awesome, and the messages are short, sweet, and to the point) Having an occasional night cap with my wife has also become a relaxing way to end our day. I encourage you to seriously consider taking a break to reflect upon which spiritual path is best for you. Best wishes...

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Re: should I stay or should I go

Post by keepswimmin » 19 May 2014, 15:39

I think me and DH have made our decision.. we don't feel God would make salvation so complicating and would want people to cconstantly feel unworthy no matter how hard they try perfecting themselves. I have prayed and have an overwhelming feeling of peace. God loves us and he knows we are fallible and will always fall short which is why he sent Jesus to atone for us. I feel free.

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Re: should I stay or should I go

Post by MockingJay » 25 May 2014, 08:26

Great news! THIS is what it's ALL about. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
PS - Decided to stay from church today and rest :P

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Re: should I stay or should I go

Post by wayfarer » 29 May 2014, 18:09

breaks are good for the soul, particularly when we become resentful of the complicated, forced way to live life as a TBM.

I have come to realize there is a more real god than the big judge in the sky. honestly, i have never understood it: we taught in missionary discussions that Jesus was our judge...and we're supposed to love him and he loves us. Personally, I have never experienced "love" from a judge (too many traffic tickets I'm afraid), so the metaphor seems to be just BS.

At some point, i deconstructed ALL my beliefs in mormonism, christianity, and the whole schmear. it's all make-believe. But when I came to this conclusion after two years in India, and found hinduism at its very depth is just as shallow as mormonism, or not, but it was all the same to me at that point. And I missed the community of the saints, so I returned, both from India, as well as to the Church.

Now i can find joy in agitating HP group discussions, and calling BS on some of the outrageous stuff in Sunday School False (er Gospel) doctrine class. I don't let the church affect my spirit, and when it does, I take a break.
"Those who speak don't know, those who know don't speak." Lao Tzu.
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