Keeping Joy

Public forum, tell us about yourself and what brings you to StayLDS!
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DarkJedi
Posts: 5399
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: Keeping Joy

Post by DarkJedi » 08 Jan 2018, 06:53

Welcome, and thanks for introducing yourself. All in all it sounds like you're doing OK and hanging in there, better than I did. FWIW, I have never been to a ward where the sacrament was not taken out to the foyer for late arrivers and others and I've never heard of any policy against that (except if the person wasn't there for the bread they shouldn't take the water).

Please don't be afraid to share, others here benefit from the insights of those who are "making it work." I hope that likewise others here can continue to be of help to you.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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BeJoyful
Posts: 16
Joined: 03 Jan 2018, 08:37

Re: Keeping Joy

Post by BeJoyful » 08 Jan 2018, 07:38


DarkJedi wrote:FWIW, I have never been to a ward where the sacrament was not taken out to the foyer for late arrivers and others and I've never heard of any policy against that (except if the person wasn't there for the bread they shouldn't take the water).
Same here, until now, and we've traveled and moved A LOT.

When I asked the first time, I was told it was policy. I asked again a month or so later for a clarification and explained my situation, and was told that "all kids are like that, he'll learn" and again, policy.

Almost a year later, I talked with the bishop again and explained that my son had an official diagnosis and husband was going to be gone for 6 months. He said he would think about it.
The following Sunday was a 5th Sunday with a video presentation intended for ward councils with the Q12 and Aux leaders discussing how to keep the Sabbath holy, and QLC told a story of a young mom with a special needs child who was trying to stay in sacrament and left defeated and how if he were her bishop he would make sure the sacrament made it out to the hall to her.
I approached my Bishop afterwards and he put his hand up when he saw me coming and said, "I know, I know. We'll start doing it." (very annoyed)
2 more years and a new, more reasonable Bishop went by and it never happened. New Bishop cited stake policy.
One Sunday we had a crazy amount of visitors and the foyers were full of late comers. After the bread, Bishop asked for a show of hands of anyone who had not received the sacrament and someone came from the foyer and said they hadn't received it. Bishopric quickly counseled and my husband was helping with the sacrament and they told him 'just this once'.

It's frustrating that this unwritten rule became law and that 'law' superceded member's needs.

To reframe it bluntly, I was denied an ordinance for 6 months because I have a child with special needs.

New ward and my son is phenomenal in sacrament now, so this particular issue isn't a hurdle anymore. The bigger issue of unwritten rules being treated like law probably still is, but there's no specific conflict I have with it right now.

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Roy
Posts: 4470
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 14:16
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Keeping Joy

Post by Roy » 08 Jan 2018, 09:44

I am so sorry for this frustrating and so unnecessary stalemate.

I know that we do not want to follow the consumer driven trend of other churches but it certainly seems like we go overboard in making our members make sacrifices big and small for their faith. The most frustrating sacrifices are the ones that do not seem to benefit anybody but are seen as good for us to help us learn to make sacrifices. :crazy:
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Keeping Joy

Post by Curt Sunshine » 08 Jan 2018, 15:48

This is what makes my heart cry. It is directly against worldwide church practice, and it is a stupid policy. Leadership roulette at its worst.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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BeJoyful
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Joined: 03 Jan 2018, 08:37

Re: Keeping Joy

Post by BeJoyful » 08 Jan 2018, 21:17

Curt Sunshine wrote:This is what makes my heart cry. It is directly against worldwide church practice, and it is a stupid policy. Leadership roulette at its worst.
These types of policies are driving people away from the gospel- people who want to stay but can't make it work.

I've heard so many stories from good people in my previous stake who were driven away by similar archaic policies. It really is heartbreaking.

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BeJoyful
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Re: Keeping Joy

Post by BeJoyful » 08 Jan 2018, 21:20


squarepeg wrote: Glad you are here. This is a wonderful group of people.
Thank you! It is a great collection of people here- exactly why I finally got brave enough to post. Thanks for the warm welcome, we seem to have a lot in common!

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BeJoyful
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Re: Keeping Joy

Post by BeJoyful » 08 Jan 2018, 21:25


Roy wrote:The most frustrating sacrifices are the ones that do not seem to benefit anybody but are seen as good for us to help us learn to make sacrifices. :crazy:
Yes! I hate the backwards justifications for these sacrifices, too. Did I learn from this negative experience? Yes, but me learning from it does not make it okay.


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AmyJ
Posts: 272
Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 05:50

Re: Keeping Joy

Post by AmyJ » 09 Jan 2018, 08:42

BeJoyful wrote:
08 Jan 2018, 21:25
Yes! I hate the backwards justifications for these sacrifices, too. Did I learn from this negative experience? Yes, but me learning from it does not make it okay.
I usually mentally play Devil's Advocate these days and wind up thinking, "Yes, I learned from this experience - but I am pretty sure the lesson I learned is not the intended lesson".

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BeJoyful
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Joined: 03 Jan 2018, 08:37

Re: Keeping Joy

Post by BeJoyful » 09 Jan 2018, 08:46


AmyJ wrote:I usually mentally play Devil's Advocate these days and wind up thinking, "Yes, I learned from this experience - but I am pretty sure the lesson I learned is not the intended lesson".
It took me a while to acknowledge any lesson learned instead of just being mad at the situation.

Now I'm trying to focus on the positive without being blind to the negative so that there's room for change when there's an opportunity for it.


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SilentDawning
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Re: Keeping Joy

Post by SilentDawning » 11 Jan 2018, 14:21

You got it. I got on the joy principle a couple years ago. I realized that happiness is the object of our existence. People are that they might have joy. So, all my interactions with the church tend to be aimed at keeping joy and happiness as the forefront. A lot of stuff the church wanted me to do for years was misery inducing. Callings were misery inducing. Moving was misery inducing. Driving across town to set up chairs was misery inducing.

I do what makes me happy, and sometimes that involves serving other people in ways the church wants. There has to be overlap. I have a healthy distance from it now...keep up with the Joy litmus test when asked to do something at church....that way, so far, has brought me happiness.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

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