Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

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Roy
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Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by Roy » 06 May 2019, 08:19

Wow, another wonderful change. There is much to love about this more adaptive and nimble church.

https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-a ... iage-49727
Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued a policy Monday morning requiring couples who marry civilly to wait one year before being married or sealed in the temple. The change means Latter-day Saint couples can look forward to a temple marriage as soon as their circumstances permit.
Effective immediately, a man and a woman who have been married civilly may be sealed in the temple anytime after they receive their temple recommends for the sealing ordinance, according to a May 6 letter
In the letter, the First Presidency asks local leaders to encourage couples, where possible, to be both married and sealed in the temple.
“Where a licensed marriage is not permitted in the temple, or when a temple marriage would cause parents or immediate family members to feel excluded, a civil marriage followed by a temple sealing is authorized,” wrote the First Presidency in the letter.
The First Presidency anticipates the change “will provide more opportunities for families to come together in love and unity during the special time of marriage and sealing of a man and woman,” according to the letter.
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Curt Sunshine
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by Curt Sunshine » 06 May 2019, 08:33

My daughter saw the announcement, shrieked with joy, and called me and my wife into the room to tell us. She then called her sisters to make sure they knew.

Goose bumps. This one is huge.
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nibbler
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by nibbler » 06 May 2019, 08:35

I wasn't expecting this.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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mom3
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by mom3 » 06 May 2019, 09:17

Finally!!!!

I am happily blown away. Now a couple can do civil, enjoy their family and friends, then have a sealing day. I am so with this.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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On Own Now
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by On Own Now » 06 May 2019, 09:31

Wonderful! Several years too late for me, but I have no regrets.

This is the best change since a few weeks ago.

Seriously, though. How awesome that the Church is seeing past "because that's the way it's always been" and is trying to have less collateral damage with its policies.
"Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another." --Romans 14:13

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dande48
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by dande48 » 06 May 2019, 09:34

And it's not even conference! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Still, I wish this had happened much sooner. :cry: But better late than never.
Last edited by dande48 on 06 May 2019, 09:43, edited 1 time in total.
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SilentDawning
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by SilentDawning » 06 May 2019, 09:35

My wife called me about it. When she heard my long silence and emotional noises, she broke into tears. She has seen how isolated I am from my family, and now, in my religion (over the past few years).

I have extremely mixed feelings. Yes, I am glad it's changed -- hallelujah, praise God.

But Nimble?

After we got off the phone, I went through a period of intense, controlled anger at how I always knew this @#$%^ policy was unnecessary, and that it took again, threats to our way of religion for them to change it -- the gay marriage wave. Not concern for the family unity of non-members like me. Again, this is further evidence that church centricity trumps doing what was best for the greatest number on many issues.

What about the argument that separate marriages "cheapen the temple ceremony"?? Are we having a sale on temple marriages now?

No, it's about church self-interest, not the concern for harmony in non-member families. They are smart people at the top, and had to know the implication of welded together temple and civil marriages on marriages where one side is non-mem and the other is not. Yet they did nothing for decades.

OK, I got it out. Back to the forgiveness thread as this is where I need to apply forgiveness.

I don't want my sarcasm and unhappiness to eclipse the fact that this is a positive change. It's good for other couples. I need to explore the policy now, their reasons for it, etcetera. I notice they tend to save face with their changes wherever possible. Gospel Topic essays and disavowell of past doctrine (don't try to convince me the priesthood ban wasn't considered doctrine by people at the highest levels of the church, the FP in presidencies past) are buried on LDS.org in a corner somewhere. Uncontroversial, programmatic changes are mentioned in conference. Controversial but now overly damning policies are handled outside of conferencewhere they attract only medium attention.

Here is where I need to give credit where credit is due though. They DID make this change, even if for a selfish reason. There are three emotions here -- thanksfulness other couple don't have to endure what I have, severe angst about how this reversal means the past policy was not necessary, and entrenchment of my belief the church thinks about what is best for the church first and foremost.

But perhaps we are seeing a better church than in the past? One that we can trust more?

Extremely conflicted.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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SilentDawning
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by SilentDawning » 06 May 2019, 10:17

OK, I read it at its source (the actual bulletin)...and this is the core of it:
Where possible, leaders should encourage couples to be both married and seal in the temple. Where a licensed marriage is not permitted in the temple, or when a temple marriage would cause parents or immediate family members to feel excluded, a civil ceremony followed by a temple sealing is authorized.

We anticipate that this will provide more opportunities for families to come together in love and unity during the special time of marriage and sealing of a man and a women.
So, the main reason appears to be family unity. But only family unity at the immediate level. If the single temple ceremony will cause disharmony among grandparents, or aunts and uncles, then the policy doesn't apply. I wish it said it was at the preference of the couple for reasons of harmony. Granted, nothing is stopping a couple from phrasing their concerns about parental or immediate familial discontent with a temple-only marriage in a way that justifies it, even when immediate family members are OK with either kind of wedding.

They do have a small reference to heterosexual marriage in bold above. I guess part of me doesn't trust the church as being forthright in its main reason -- to prevent it from having to formalize gay marriages. It would be too controversial to say that when they have a more benign reason. Whose consequences, I may add, they apparently knew all along but considered a worthy casualty.

So, I'm neutral on this one. The policy has both a positive and a negative message in it. I wish I had've joined the church a year from now, not 3 decades ago when all the hard stuff was treated as doctrine and fully justified by TBM's in the face of intense suffering on the part of people disadvantaged by policy/doctrine/culture. I hyphenate all of these as it's tough to know which is which these days. But let's let everyone save face in the name of progress.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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SilentDawning
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by SilentDawning » 06 May 2019, 10:26

.... my prediction for changes in the church recently.
Re: What is there left to change?
Post by SilentDawning » 31 Mar 2019, 13:49

Unbundling temple sealings from civil marriage. That is a possibility given the prevalence of gay marriage. who knows. If so, I wish it had've been around when I got married, and my daughter. But that's water under the bridge. If they do go that route, it'll "cheapen the sacrifices" people made to get married without non-mem or less active family present. It'll show that it really wasn't all that important after all.

Whoever made up that dumb rule (the one-year penalty)....and its weak justification is beyond my understanding :crazy:
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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mom3
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Re: Sealing waiting period policy discontinued

Post by mom3 » 06 May 2019, 10:46

Well SD - Conflicted or not, you got your wish.

As I search online, many people are in your boat. TBM's whose shelves are cracking big time. I don't think your alone in your grief. The first conversations my husband and I had about it all centered around parents who didn't/couldn't have family with them on their day. For my generation it moved into Grandparents who couldn't/wouldn't come.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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