TR interview and porn

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Roy
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by Roy » 04 Mar 2019, 10:52

My 13 yr old daughter has declined the TR interview and temple trips. She says that she does not feel comfortable being asked questions alone like that. She says that it feels like an interrogation. I believe that her discomfort extends to the belief questions as much if not more-so than the action/behavior questions. Her beliefs are still forming and she doesn't look kindly on having them probed.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

Minyan Man
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by Minyan Man » 04 Mar 2019, 11:23

Roy, that is a very mature conclusion for a 13 yr old. You have raised her well.

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DarkJedi
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by DarkJedi » 04 Mar 2019, 11:57

Roy wrote:
04 Mar 2019, 10:52
My 13 yr old daughter has declined the TR interview and temple trips. She says that she does not feel comfortable being asked questions alone like that. She says that it feels like an interrogation. I believe that her discomfort extends to the belief questions as much if not more-so than the action/behavior questions. Her beliefs are still forming and she doesn't look kindly on having them probed.
I have seen similar things happen here. Just curious, what has been the leadership's reaction? They get fairly flabbergasted here, depending a little on the bishop.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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Roy
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by Roy » 04 Mar 2019, 16:27

So far we have not told the leadership much. DW has told the YW leader not to plan on having DD on the temple trips and that DW will work on attending the temple with DD as a mother daughter outing. The leadership are aware that we participate at arms length sometimes so they tend to be respectful of any requests for space.

11 yr old DS recently received his TR because the bishop snuck the TR questions into the interview to be ordained to the Priesthood of Aaron. There was no equivalent interview when DD graduated to YW.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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DarkJedi
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by DarkJedi » 05 Mar 2019, 05:54

Roy wrote:
04 Mar 2019, 16:27
11 yr old DS recently received his TR because the bishop snuck the TR questions into the interview to be ordained to the Priesthood of Aaron. There was no equivalent interview when DD graduated to YW.
Our bishops were told that those two interviews were one in the same so that two interviews were not necessary. Makes some sense, especially considering the questions are probably pretty similar for both. I do think our young women were interviewed as well, but I'm not positive about that. One of the side effects of the change is most youth interviews moved to January. The ward I visit often has tons of youth, and I know the bishop there (who is a friend) was hopping in January.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

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Sheldon
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by Sheldon » 08 Mar 2019, 11:15

I blogged about this very subject at Wheat & Tare a few months ago. You can read my post here

bdavis3
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by bdavis3 » 17 Mar 2019, 09:37

DarkJedi wrote:
02 Mar 2019, 19:18
Another aspect of the whole experience is that even if I did look at porn I would have answered the question yes because I answer the questions as I think they are supposed to be.
I do the same thing, and I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that does that. Some of the questions I just don't agree with. I answer the questions looking at the spirit of the law instead of the letter. The cultural pressure is so heavy though that it's still hard not to think that I'm stretching the truth.
"Pi Patel: 'So tell me, since it makes no factual difference to you and you can't prove the question either way, which story do you prefer? Which is the better story, the story with animals or the story without animals?'
Mr. Okamoto: 'That's an interesting question?'
Mr. Chiba: 'The story with animals.'
Mr. Okamoto: 'Yes. The story with animals is the better story.'
Pi Patel: 'Thank you. And so it goes with God.'" -Life of Pi

Roy
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by Roy » 17 Mar 2019, 11:24

Roy wrote:
04 Mar 2019, 16:27
So far we have not told the leadership much. DW has told the YW leader not to plan on having DD on the temple trips and that DW will work on attending the temple with DD as a mother daughter outing. The leadership are aware that we participate at arms length sometimes so they tend to be respectful of any requests for space.
Update: 13 yr old DD was just called as the YW class president (because there are so few young women they are apparently doing one class presidency for all the age groups). Bishop called us as parents to ask our permission ahead of time. We stipulated that DD would not speak or perform in SM (something that DD has made known unto us) and that DW would like to be present during the meeting when the calling is extended. DW and I are cautiously optimistic that DD can provide input into YW activities and grow her leadership skills.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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LDS_Scoutmaster
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Re: TR interview and porn

Post by LDS_Scoutmaster » 20 Mar 2019, 14:12

Roy, your DD is very astute. She will do great in life.
My youngest hates public speaking but makes it through it, in one sense I hate pushing him to speak, and the other I think it helps him (he's socially awkward like his dad).

I've never had additional questions nor interpretations during the TR interview.

I agree that your SP was out of line in adding that. I wish that I could have this happen to me and that I would be sharp and smart enough to answer so that the SP understands (tactfully) that he shouldn't add or modify the questions so it doesn't happen to someone else. But I would probably be taken off guard and not be able to fix it.
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