YW and free babysitting

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SamBee
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by SamBee » 10 Aug 2018, 18:12

I'm afraid to say there is a very basic reason for this. In the current climate, many people are uncomfortable leaving their children with males. There is a lot of prejudice against men even working in kindergartens.

It saddens me greatly. I actually quite like children, but will go nowhere near most of them unless I know the parents well enough. I'm really nervous about it even though I would never do anything to them.

A lot of men won't go near teaching for this very reason. A friend is a male kindergarten teacher, he's a great guy, but I had to catch myself once because I thought about this in a prejudiced manner. The nursery is for a minority language and that's his main interest, but still I realized how engrained this thinking has become.

p.s. Yes it was cheeky to say this without him consulting you first.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

Roy
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by Roy » 13 Aug 2018, 09:44

In general, I am in favor of some kind of childcare service for church RS activities at the church. I believe that having this option will encourage more women to attend and may help reach some women that really might benefit the most from attending the activity (possibly because they do not have the family support to take a night off from the kids otherwise). I do not think that this would have to be a YW service. EQ could do it. YM as well if they had some adult supervision.

I do not think that any YW should feel conscipted into giving free babysitting at someone's house while they attend the temple. Learning to give service is a worthy activity - so too is working hard and having some money to show for it that can then be spent, saved, tithed, or otherwise managed.

We recently went on a weekend trip and our small chihuahua dog could not join us. After considering several options we paid one of the young women in the ward to restock the food, water, clean up the dog mess and take the dog for a short walk once daily. This was something that this 12 year old could do with parental support and make some decent money. We paid half what it would have cost to kennel the dog and did not expose the dog to communicable diseases from a kennel. I consider this to be a win-win.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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SamBee
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by SamBee » 21 Aug 2018, 01:22

Roy wrote:
13 Aug 2018, 09:44

We recently went on a weekend trip and our small chihuahua dog could not join us. After considering several options we paid one of the young women in the ward to restock the food, water, clean up the dog mess and take the dog for a short walk once daily. This was something that this 12 year old could do with parental support and make some decent money. We paid half what it would have cost to kennel the dog and did not expose the dog to communicable diseases from a kennel. I consider this to be a win-win.
If it was a bigger dog, it might be an issue. Don't forget your dog was also in a familiar environment.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by hawkgrrrl » 22 Aug 2018, 16:26

Some of you might be interested in this related discussion: https://bycommonconsent.com/2018/08/21/ ... e-loaders/

Shockingly, one commenter shared this story:
there are emails that go out in our RS listserv asking for childcare in exchange for cookies. COOKIES. Like, no thanks, baked goods aren’t a real currency. If I want a cookie so bad, I’ll get one at the deli for 99 cents and NOT watch your kids for four hours.

Roy
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by Roy » 23 Aug 2018, 09:26

Yes HG, I have followed the BCC discussion with interest. There appears to be a delicate balance between what support the church organization might directly provide, what support the church membership might provide, what support the extended family might provide, and finally what the individual might do for themselves.

I do agree that women and YW are unfairly expected to do service without expectation of compensation.
hawkgrrrl wrote:
22 Aug 2018, 16:26
there are emails that go out in our RS listserv asking for childcare in exchange for cookies. COOKIES.


Whenever someone brings in a meal for us DW likes to return the delivery container with cookies, brownies, or some other light desert. This is a small token of appreciation and NOT compensation. I believe misunderstandings and hurt feeling result when that becomes confused. I can immagine how this happens.

"I love it when someone makes me cookies to thank me for my service."
"There is a need to organize childcare resources with those in need. Sure would be helpful to remind those in need to show gratitude ...maybe by giving some cookies"
several months or years later...
Babysitters can expect to receive cookies + those in need of childcare must provide cookies = giving cookies is compensation for childcare.
"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

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dande48
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by dande48 » 23 Aug 2018, 12:15

Roy wrote:
23 Aug 2018, 09:26
I do agree that women and YW are unfairly expected to do service without expectation of compensation.


Isn't this equally as true for Men and YM? It sure felt like it growing up. Heck, I was recruited for "free babysitting" multiple times, back when guys were allowed by society to be left alone with children.

If people honestly need help, I hope anyone would be willing to help without expecting compensation. But I think in the Church, we are constantly looking for, and sometimes artificially create, service opportunities because "service is good". In my home ward, we'd chop and stack wood for half a dozen members a year. We'd lay mulch and rake leaves for the ward building, as well as some of the members. We'd be asked at odd hours to shovel driveways.

In some ways, I think it's wonderful to contribute to the community for the sake of the community. I think community service is generally good and builds character. But I think this fact can be unfairly exploited. There's a big difference in babysitting for four hours for a plate of cookies, for a family who is poor and can't afford it, than for someone who is rich and cheap. Heck, couples struggling with finances might REALLY need a non-temple date night, and I'd like to think I'd be willing to babysit free of charge.

But I do think the Church does have difficulty crossing the line between meaningful and exploitative service.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
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hawkgrrrl
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by hawkgrrrl » 23 Aug 2018, 12:25

I think there can also be this entitlement mind set when it comes to certain things:
"I have followed the church's counsel to attend the temple/have too many kids too young/forego a dual income so "the church" owes me this kind of free support to make it all work." That's not far removed from "I'm righteous, so I'm entitled to blessings from heaven," but really what they mean is to get financial and temporal support from the volunteerism and charity of church members. The problem is that in these mindsets, the church members are the casualties, and the support required from them knows no bounds. It's the glass that you can keep filling, but it will never get full.

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dande48
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Re: YW and free babysitting

Post by dande48 » 23 Aug 2018, 20:53

hawkgrrrl wrote:
23 Aug 2018, 12:25
I think there can also be this entitlement mind set when it comes to certain things:
"I have followed the church's counsel to attend the temple/have too many kids too young/forego a dual income so "the church" owes me this kind of free support to make it all work."
I have seen that quite a bit. But it's troubling that "the church" (meaning the membership) are those asked to give support. In my experience, "the Church" (meaning the institution) is much more reluctant to give aid. And when they do, it's with extreme caviats. In general, "the Church" commands and "the church" is left to figure it all out.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

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