Homework on Sunday - Help Please

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AmyJ
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Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by AmyJ » 02 Aug 2018, 05:05

I started at WGU this past week. I want to get through it as soon as possible to complete my education. I need to make time to study (15-20 hours a week) and take the tests.

I am seriously giving consideration to doing homework on Sundays after church:
1) I don't have confidence that my husband will support my schooling except through pep talks and some child care coverage. That means that the laundry, the dishes and all the chores I currently do I will still cover for 90% of the time on top of employment and schooling. We have talked about what he will take over - but it always ends up with caveats that cancel his participation.
2) It is currently unscheduled/loosely scheduled - we don't do a lot as a family during that time, but we do things sometimes. It has also been the one time I could rely on for me to read murder mysteries or whatever...
3) It is a prime time when I am not too tired (which is a fear I have for the evening studies).

Morally, I don't consider myself bound to not doing homework on Sundays to "Keep the Sabbath Day Holy". I recognize that having a day of rest is helpful, and may be a requirement - but I think that I could manage doing homework on Sundays and not getting burned out.

However - I think my husband could go either way. It would lead to a discussion on what he intends to take on and actually doesn't - but it could mean that I focus on getting my homework on Saturdays so that we can spend time as a family playing board games/quality time on Sunday. Currently, my husband usually doesn't complain very much when I do laundry on Sundays.

I am not sure about the message I want to send my daughters. There is a difference between time management where you prioritize your family time/work/chores over homework and make up the difference on Sunday and prioritizing video games/goofing off time management planning to play "catch up" on Sundays. If I don't do homework on Sundays, then this issue becomes delayed for a few years (probably high school).

Thoughts please?

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DarkJedi
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by DarkJedi » 02 Aug 2018, 06:28

AmyJ wrote:
02 Aug 2018, 05:05
Morally, I don't consider myself bound to not doing homework on Sundays to "Keep the Sabbath Day Holy". I recognize that having a day of rest is helpful, and may be a requirement - but I think that I could manage doing homework on Sundays and not getting burned out.

Thoughts please?
I think you kind of answered your own question. Like many other things (tithing or WoW, for example) what constitutes "keeping the commandment" is pretty subjective. I have become much more lax on these sorts of things post faith transition. What is restful and relaxing and worshipful for me might not be just the opposite for you. I find relaxation in watching a ballgame, for example, which is something I rarely get to do during the week (and I wouldn't have wanted to watch the Nats beat down of the Mets this week anyway). Conversely, I dislike doing family history (I have done a lot over the years though) and find it a drudgery - for me doing it on Sunday, especially if I didn't feel like it, would be anything but a delightful Sabbath.

FWIW, Sunday is one of those things I think the church is way too Pharisaical about.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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AmyJ
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by AmyJ » 02 Aug 2018, 06:40

DarkJedi wrote:
02 Aug 2018, 06:28
I think you kind of answered your own question. Like many other things (tithing or WoW, for example) what constitutes "keeping the commandment" is pretty subjective.
For me, I haven't really changed my Sunday habits while in my faith transition. This is the first deliberate potential deviation should I choose to do so. [Well, technically doing laundry on the Sabbath might have been skirting the line.]
DarkJedi wrote:
02 Aug 2018, 06:28
I have become much more lax on these sorts of things post faith transition. What is restful and relaxing and worshipful for me might not be just the opposite for you. I find relaxation in watching a ballgame, for example, which is something I rarely get to do during the week (and I wouldn't have wanted to watch the Nats beat down of the Mets this week anyway). Conversely, I dislike doing family history (I have done a lot over the years though) and find it a drudgery - for me doing it on Sunday, especially if I didn't feel like it, would be anything but a delightful Sabbath.

FWIW, Sunday is one of those things I think the church is way too Pharisaical about.
Homework is not restful. But the peace of mind knowing that time is scheduled for it is helpful.

What I will probably do going forward is schedule several hours of homework on Saturdays, and shift the cleaning/laundry to Sunday - knowing that it all gets done, but will cause less potential family conflict.

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DarkJedi
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by DarkJedi » 02 Aug 2018, 07:04

You're right, I did focus more on the rest and maybe worship part of the Sabbath than the no work side.

So...in Hebrew there are actually several words for work depending on what kind of work it is. There is a specific work word used in that particular instance. I don't want to get all technical about it, suffice it to say that there are acceptable kinds of work allowed on the Sabbath even among the most orthodox of Jews (although they also have a serious Pharisaical problem, obviously). You said:
Morally, I don't consider myself bound to not doing homework on Sundays to "Keep the Sabbath Day Holy".
So what's the issue? I'm not sure what you said and what you believe are the same. If they are, then you have indeed answered your own question - just do you homework and don't worry about. It seems you're more worried about what other people, perhaps including your husband or family, might think. That's a whole different question and answer. If that's what you're worried about and if you think they're going to judge you for doing homework on Sunday and you're worried about that then don't do homework on Sunday. I'm sure (absolutely sure) there are people who judge me for watching games and doing other things on Sunday. I don't care because I'm not answerable to them.

I was going to say this in my first post but just didn't want to belabor the point or get on my soapbox but Sunday (the Lord's Day) and the Sabbath day (in the Jewish sense) are not the same thing. We tend to conflate them, but it's actually a pet peeve of mine. But that is a whole other and much deeper discussion.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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Roadrunner
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by Roadrunner » 02 Aug 2018, 08:56

Hello Amy,
When I was at BYU probably 60% of my friends didn't do homework on Sundays. That leaves a lot of people, including me, who did homework on the Sabbath. I was in a major that was difficult for me and I felt that if I skipped studying on Sundays that I was way too stressed the rest of the week. However, I tried to not study with others on Sunday so that I wouldn't take up their time.

When I attended graduate school on the east coast I found out quickly that for most of my classmates they preferred to have fun on Saturdays and study on Sundays. It was difficult initially to tell them I wouldn't study on Sundays during church but it got easier - I would just tell them I have obligations Sunday mornings. Sometimes they would act annoyed but I eventually decided their schedules weren't more important than mine, so I would meet them after church to study or for group projects because I had no choice.

I echo DJ's thoughts and really believe it's up to you, and if you decide to study on Sundays I hope you don't feel guilty about it. The older I get the more I believe life is about balance, and any time we place too much importance anything something else worthy and important suffers.

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Holy Cow
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by Holy Cow » 02 Aug 2018, 09:08

Honestly, I never heard of the 'no homework on Sunday' position until I was married. I grew up in an orthodox family, but my parents never said anything about not doing homework on Sunday. So, doing homework on a Sunday afternoon/evening was nothing out of the ordinary. When I was in college, I continued using Sunday afternoons to work on school projects, writing papers, studying, etc. When I got married, my wife refused to do homework on Sundays. I was a little confused. I never felt like there was anything wrong with studying on a Sunday, but she was raised in a household where homework was not okay on Sundays. I continued using Sundays to do homework when I needed to, and never felt like I was doing anything wrong. Today, my kids rarely have homework on the weekends, except the occasional project, and I'm okay with them working on it on a Sunday.
About two years ago, when my daughter had her interview with the bishop for her baptism, he asked her if she knew what it meant to keep the Sabbath Day holy. They talked about a few different things, and she said that our family likes to do things as a family on Sundays. He asked her if she thought going for a walk with your family would be keeping the Sabbath holy. She said yes, and he agreed. Then he asked if she thought going for a hike in the mountains with her family would be keeping the Sabbath holy. She said yes, and he agreed again. Then my daughter asked the bishop if it was okay to go to the pool with your family on a Sunday. He said that he thought that would be a great Sunday activity. I was a little surprised at how progressive his thoughts were, and my daughter was ecstatic to hear that he thought it was okay to go to the pool on Sundays, because my wife has always forbidden it. As soon as we got home, she told my wife that the bishop said it was okay to go to the pool on Sunday. :lol: However, my wife is still against it, so we don't do it. The kids complain about it, but I support my wife in it, even though I'd be okay with hanging out in the pool on a hot Sunday afternoon. Like others have said, Sunday activities are really determined by the family.
But, from what you're saying, it sounds like much of your concern may be about whether or not your husband will be able to support you with taking care of family/household things, as much as your concerned about the Sunday issue. I can relate to that worry. When I was working on my master's degree, and had kids at home, it took a lot more study time at home (including Sundays). A lot of the extra burden fell on my wife. She spent a lot more time on her own with the kids, cleaning, shopping, cooking, etc., while I was stuck at a computer working on homework. It was a time when we weren't able to balance the typical household chores and stuff as much as we typically had before that. Without her extra support, I wouldn't have had the time I needed to work on school stuff. Several years ago, my wife went through a very rough fight with depression, to the extent that she was in an inpatient clinic for several months. It left me home alone with the kids. My wife came home and, with the help of medication, is able to function but she is not the same person. To this day, several years later, she isn't able to spend time alone, gets easily agitated, and really struggles to spend time with the kids. I would not be able to go back to school now, because I simply wouldn't have the same support at home now that my wife was able to provide before. It sounds like one of your big concerns is whether or not your husband is willing and able to help lift some of the extra load at home to allow you to focus on school (regardless of what day of the week it is). Keep in mind that being 'willing' and being 'able' are two different things. My wife would still be willing to do as much as she used to, but wouldn't be able.
So it seems you're battling with two different issues. 1- Is it okay to do homework on Sunday (in my opinion it would be fine, but that's just my opinion). 2- Do you have the support you would need to be able to get in the study time that you would need? Only you can answer that one.
Best of luck!!
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DarkJedi
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by DarkJedi » 02 Aug 2018, 09:17

Just for the record and just to throw this out there because it is somewhat relevant to the topic, I was TBM during the time when I got my Masters degree and the advanced study following that I did for my administrative certification. My kids were all small then. I did lots of homework and writing late at night while everyone else was asleep. Just saying.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

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AmyJ
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by AmyJ » 02 Aug 2018, 09:33

DarkJedi wrote:
02 Aug 2018, 09:17
Just for the record and just to throw this out there because it is somewhat relevant to the topic, I was TBM during the time when I got my Masters degree and the advanced study following that I did for my administrative certification. My kids were all small then. I did lots of homework and writing late at night while everyone else was asleep. Just saying.
It is a nice thought:)

I do best when I am in bed by 9:30 PM and get up between 5:30 AM and 6 AM. I have gotten to bed as late as 11 PM and still gotten up at the same time - but I can't do that very often otherwise everything is a struggle.

We can enforce bedtime (or time in bedroom) for our 8.5 and 2 year old girls at 7:30 PM. Neither girl is really interested in sleeping until 8:30 PM or so. If the dishes are mild and the food is put away during the cooking, then evening cleanup is not bad. I may be able to carve out some time then.

My husband usually more or less tosses the kid responsibility into my direction as soon as I get home from work. PLUS SIDE: Homework is usually done. MINUS SIDE: He tends to be overwhelmed and grouchy so either retreats into the computer or uses sharp words towards us. He HATED Pathways nights because he had kid duty for that much longer.

AmyJ
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by AmyJ » 02 Aug 2018, 10:07

Holy Cow wrote:
02 Aug 2018, 09:08
So it seems you're battling with two different issues. 1- Is it okay to do homework on Sunday (in my opinion it would be fine, but that's just my opinion). 2- Do you have the support you would need to be able to get in the study time that you would need? Only you can answer that one.
Best of luck!!
I think you summed it up pretty well. Thank you!

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Homework on Sunday - Help Please

Post by Curt Sunshine » 02 Aug 2018, 10:36

I currently am in a Masters Degree program that can be intense at times. I have no problem studying on Sunday, as long as it doesn't interfere with my direct church responsibilities.

When I was getting my undergraduate degree, I was working full-time, going to school full-time, starting our family, and serving in the Church. I slept too little throughout the week and crashed on Saturday. Outside of between classes on campus, almost my only extended study time was Sunday.

Just for perspective and "positioning" for support:

We understand and accept that many people have to work on Sunday - even "non-essential" jobs like professional and major college athletics, theatre, etc. If it is okay to work occupationally on Sunday, why would it be wrong to study on Sunday when your "occupation" is being a student?
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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