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I came out to some friends and I liked it!

Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 15:48
by longbottom
I have some friends, both couples, that were high profile departures from our ward. I have been considering lately talking to them about my own internal departure from the church. But, I have been afraid that if I tell anyone then word might get out, and then... It could get messy. But, I had an experience a couple days ago where, after my year- long struggle, I was finally able to say to myself: "The church is not true, and I believe that." Just being able to say that to myself with my own mouth made all the difference to me, and I feel totally at peace. More at peace than ever before.

So, I opened up to them, and had WONDERFUL conversations with them! So now, I have some local friends that I can talk to you while I continue to work through the challenges of my new life.

Re: I came out to some friends and I liked it!

Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 15:54
by longbottom
By the way, these are people I considered VERY good friends before they left the ward. To my shame, I never considered talking to them after they left, because that would've made for an uncomfortable conversation. What a difference a little time makes. And how clear my errors are now.

I can tell we are going to be even better friends now.

Re: I came out to some friends and I liked it!

Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 16:08
by DarkJedi
I suppose the question from the point of view of this forum is now are they helping you (or are they going to help you) StayLDS?

That's not to say that we are not understanding of those who leave, and even recognize that for some leaving is the best thing. But we do have a purpose here.

Re: I came out to some friends and I liked it!

Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 16:38
by longbottom
No plans of leaving the church in the near future for me. My friends have a lot of understanding about mixed-faith relationships and making them work while still going to church. My TBM wife means more to me than anything else, so I will be patient with both her and myself throughout this process. My wife knows that I have a faith issue, but admittedly does not know the full depth of it. And she also knows there are some elements that are not exactly black-and-white in the church. It's nice to know that I have some other people I can actually meet face to face with and talk about my issues. This forum is going to be my home for a little while.

Re: I came out to some friends and I liked it!

Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 17:38
by DarkJedi
You are indeed fortunate to have people you can talk with face to face.

Re: I came out to some friends and I liked it!

Posted: 15 Apr 2018, 06:06
by LookingHard
I think those that have left the church are generally fully aware of how vulnerable you are in telling them. Most would respect that, but it doesn't hurt to remind them.

I found that I couldn't really start emotionally healing from my faith crisis until I finally opened up to a few people. The online world is great, but face to face or at least talking over the phone is best. To verbally hear someone acknowledge and validate you is something we all need.

Glad this worked out well.