One Year Waiting Period Work Around

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SilentDawning
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by SilentDawning » 06 Apr 2018, 10:51

With respect to other countries (I'm thinking specifically of Canada), despite their being pressure for the newlyweds to rush off and immediately be sealed in the temple, even if it means a drive of several hours, the choice it ultimately the couple's. If my husband and I had been put in that position, I hope we would have said, "Sorry. We'll be sealed as soon as we can because it's something that's important to us. But this is our day, and we're not going to spend it driving across the country." Of course, 47 years ago, when I got married, it wouldn't have occurred to me to be so impertinent.
Can you comment on what you are referring to in Canada? What is special about Canada in this situation?
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Katzpur
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by Katzpur » 06 Apr 2018, 12:24

SilentDawning wrote:
06 Apr 2018, 10:51
With respect to other countries (I'm thinking specifically of Canada), despite their being pressure for the newlyweds to rush off and immediately be sealed in the temple, even if it means a drive of several hours, the choice it ultimately the couple's. If my husband and I had been put in that position, I hope we would have said, "Sorry. We'll be sealed as soon as we can because it's something that's important to us. But this is our day, and we're not going to spend it driving across the country." Of course, 47 years ago, when I got married, it wouldn't have occurred to me to be so impertinent.
Can you comment on what you are referring to in Canada? What is special about Canada in this situation?
Apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about. :oops: I assumed that it was in Canada that temple weddings weren't considered legally binding and that it was in Canada where couples were encouraged to rush to the temple right after a civil ceremony. It was SamBee's comment I was referring to and I evidently made a foolish assumption as to where he lives. Sorry!
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SamBee
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by SamBee » 06 Apr 2018, 15:02

I keep quiet about where I live on this board for anonymity, but no, it isn't Canada. It *is* similar here though... the idea you get the civil wedding then the temple wedding as soon as transport allows. I really think it must damp the passion down as well as getting the couple angry at each other, because they're tired and frustrated by the end of it!

So I'm not in Canada but it is exactly as described.

In France, all legal weddings must be conducted by the state I'm told. Everyone goes and sees the local state official in addition to church. In my country, on the other hand you can be wed in an LDS chapel by a bishop, just not in the temple and you don't need the state to conduct it, juat okay the paperwork.
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NightSG
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by NightSG » 07 Apr 2018, 18:07

Katzpur wrote:
06 Apr 2018, 08:57
My whole complaint is that it shouldn't matter which comes first, the legal unifying of a couple or the sealing of that couple, and there shouldn't be a waiting period for the sealing if the civil ceremony is conducted first.
This. As far as I can tell, the year wait is purely punitive, and strikes me as extremely petty. After all, if the couple is committing to eternity, making them prove it'll last a year is just petty, especially given the number of people I've met who divorced within a couple years of being sealed. (And a fair number of them weren't 18-21 year old kids, but adults in their 30s and beyond, often in a second or even third marriage, so the claims of youthful inexperience don't hold water.)

Curt Sunshine
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by Curt Sunshine » 08 Apr 2018, 18:25

The wait period was instituted when almost everyone in the area (Utah) was LDS, so members not getting married in the temple generally either had sexual sin issues that kept it from happening or simply weren't interested at the time of their marriage. The wait period was meant to ensure that they had repented fully and/or were serious about it.

I don't have a huge problem with it back in the beginning, but times have changed enough that the policy should change, as well - especially since it doesn't apply in multiple countries. It obviously isn't eternal doctrine but simple policy.
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Roy
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by Roy » 09 Apr 2018, 08:23

I always had the impression that this policy was to prevent/punish people for "trifling" with sacred things. That the temple ceremony should be the big event and to turn it into an afterthought just felt wrong to many in leadership. As we have discussed the push for members in other countries to get sealed on the same day or ASAP from their wedding day, I believe that the sentiment of not wanting to trifle with sacred things and make the temple sealing the main event is fairly consistent even if the specifics are different due to local laws.
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SilentDawning
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Re: One Year Waiting Period Work Around

Post by SilentDawning » 12 Apr 2018, 06:18

Roy wrote:
09 Apr 2018, 08:23
I always had the impression that this policy was to prevent/punish people for "trifling" with sacred things. That the temple ceremony should be the big event and to turn it into an afterthought just felt wrong to many in leadership. As we have discussed the push for members in other countries to get sealed on the same day or ASAP from their wedding day, I believe that the sentiment of not wanting to trifle with sacred things and make the temple sealing the main event is fairly consistent even if the specifics are different due to local laws.
Maybe. What I think is they didn't like the fact that members without temple recommends got a decent experience seeing their loved ones married. It cheapened the influence of the churchto encourage endowed members to get a temple recommend again. Not in a malicious way, but in a well-meaning way.

As I've gotten less committed, I regret how I left the church cheapen my biological family relationships, and their overall perception of the church. No way they would join or embrace the gospel after that policy, they didn't understand.

Anyway, I've debated this here before on StayLDS so no need to rehash. My comment was about a possible work around -- get married in the temple and have a second marriage right after civilly that is also legally binding.

There are some logistical problems with it. TBM's will likely tattle to their priesthood leaders - maybe even your own family members if they are members might do it. And then you never get out of the starting gate with it because you get hauled in by the priesthood leaders, who would no doubt try to revoke your TR. Plus, it's so unorthodox, people not invited could find out about it, and if TBM, could report it to priesthood leaders. So I don't see it as feasible.

If this was a sword I was going to die on, and felt it was worth the effort, I'd be petitioning law makers to outlaw anything but a civil marriage as legally binding in America. This would put us on the same par as Britain, without having to travel there. If this is a state law, then the place to start would be in these more socialist states like New York or California. Everyone could travel there with less expense than say, Britain.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

My introduction: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1576

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