Faith Crisis Versus Commitment Crisis

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51Mag
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Re: Faith Crisis Versus Commitment Crisis

Post by 51Mag » 04 Jun 2017, 11:17

This has got me thinking...I am very nervous about sharing my FC with my current BP. Not because I am afraid of him executing judgment on me, but because I don't want to drag anyone else down with me. I know that I loved when people would come and be real with me. I know I was a different BP but who better to talk to then a BP? Someone who is supposed to be there for us and help us through life. Man, that was the good stuff. I guess I would never have pulled a TR because of the crisis itself.

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Reuben
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Re: Faith Crisis Versus Commitment Crisis

Post by Reuben » 04 Jun 2017, 12:40

51Mag wrote:
04 Jun 2017, 11:17
This has got me thinking...I am very nervous about sharing my FC with my current BP. Not because I am afraid of him executing judgment on me, but because I don't want to drag anyone else down with me.
I can understand not wanting to cause a faith crisis in someone who (as you can guess better than anyone) is in one of the worst positions to be in when one happens. (Edged out by stake president, and completely blown away by apostle, if that ever happens.) Tens of thousands of frustrated exmos could set you straight on this one thing, though: inducing a faith crisis in someone else is so unlikely that you might as well consider it impossible. It's a major theme in the forums they hang out in.
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Love before dogma. Truth before loyalty. Knowledge before certainty.

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SilentDawning
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Re: Faith Crisis Versus Commitment Crisis

Post by SilentDawning » 04 Jun 2017, 17:29

51Mag wrote:
04 Jun 2017, 11:17
This has got me thinking...I am very nervous about sharing my FC with my current BP. Not because I am afraid of him executing judgment on me, but because I don't want to drag anyone else down with me. I know that I loved when people would come and be real with me. I know I was a different BP but who better to talk to then a BP? Someone who is supposed to be there for us and help us through life. Man, that was the good stuff. I guess I would never have pulled a TR because of the crisis itself.
My question is why you feel you have to go to anyone in official capacities at all? It's a crap shoot as to whether they can actually help you. As you probably know, some are black and white, and yes, you do run the risk of bringing someone else down.

For me, the best place to talk about faith crises is here, or with a close friend who won't rat on you, or who is out of the state or in a place where you'll never be physically located, stakewise. And someone who has no ties in your current area, or areas you may think of moving, if predictable.

Think about it, here you get acceptance, coping mechanisms, etcetera, where leaders are bound to tell the party line to some extent. Otherwise, they are in trouble with the people above them if they are too unorthodox, even if they want to be.

Talk to the right people online, in the right balance of unorthodoxy and traditional believership, and you will get balanced responses .

I feel no desire whatsoever to share what I'm feeling with local people now that the Internet has opened up a ton of experienced people who can share their thoughts and opinions. It carries far too much risk to talk to people locally given the Judge/Jury/Executioner and reputational problems such honesty can spawn.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"Stage 5 is where you no longer believe the gospel as its literally or traditionally taught. Nonetheless, you find your own way to be active and at peace within it". -- SD

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

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51Mag
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Re: Faith Crisis Versus Commitment Crisis

Post by 51Mag » 04 Jun 2017, 18:18

SilentDawning wrote:
04 Jun 2017, 17:29
My question is why you feel you have to go to anyone in official capacities at all? It's a crap shoot as to whether they can actually help you. As you probably know, some are black and white, and yes, you do run the risk of bringing someone else down.
I completely agree with you, I don't think I have to go to anyone. Obviously, I am here and am really glad these forums exist. But for me, that is the unfortunate part. The office of BP is supposed to help people build their faith, not tear it down. But imperfect people are called and they all act differently. It is a shame that BP don't get very much training. I think if the Church was to train leaders better, then there wouldn't be such a large disparity in the way they judge.

You are right though. It is nice to have a place where you get a very balanced response to questions.

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Faith Crisis Versus Commitment Crisis

Post by Curt Sunshine » 04 Jun 2017, 20:36

Personally, I like talking about a transition more than a crisis - since the word "crisis" might trigger a rescue effort that might cause more damage than help.

Something simple, like, "After years of being told what I am supposed to believe, I am trying to figure out what I actually do believe - you, know, being an agent unto myself, as the Book of Mormon says we should be," is the general framework I would use.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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