Why blog at StayLDS.com?

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West
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by West » 02 Mar 2015, 20:56

- What brought you here at first?

About day two or three into my faith crisis, I was so frustrated that I didn't know where to turn to except to the internet (which was what started my faith crisis in the first place, but I had faith in my internet searching capabilities). I didn't want to leave my family's church, but I wasn't sure I could stay. I wanted to stay. I can't remember what I searched for, but I was searching for help to keep me in the Church. And hey, I found you guys!

- What keeps you coming back?

I have immense gratitude for the people here who responded to my initial introduction post with such kindness and support, and who have responded to my occasional posts after that with the same kindness and support. I remember when I first came here how immensely relieved I was to have someone who read my pain and could offer support -- not a cure, but support, and that was all I really needed. I keep coming back because I want to pay that forward; I want other people in faith crises who come here looking for support to know that there are many people out there who share in their pain and can offer support and an ear to listen.

- Why do you like to blog online?

I feel comfortable online; it gives me a moment to collect my thoughts and figure out a response. Other people are also generally more willing to share their true views and opinions when they don't have to worry about too much repercussions. I've also been blogging for many years prior to coming here, and I find it's a great way to connect with people I'd otherwise never meet.

- Has blogging changed you (good or bad)?

Coming here has definitely changed me; I'm much more open minded and more inclined to see things in color rather than black and white. And I think that's a great change. ^^
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

And God said 'Love Your Enemy,' and I obeyed him and loved myself. -Kahlil Gibran

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Heber13
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by Heber13 » 03 Mar 2015, 09:31

West wrote: I wanted to stay.
West wrote:not a cure, but support, and that was all I really needed.
West wrote:I want to pay that forward
West wrote: I find it's a great way to connect with people I'd otherwise never meet.
West wrote:I'm much more open minded and more inclined to see things in color rather than black and white.
These are great points, West. Thank you so much for sharing.

I find it interesting...no one is stating they are trying to learn how to lie to leaders to pass a temple recommend interview, or how to justify sin so we can live in hypocrisy. This site was designed to support people in StayingLDS if they choose that path, sincerely, not with lies or manipulation or justification or pride.

I hope more leaders and spouses and family and friends of those who struggle find this thread and see what it is people are really looking for, because this kind of support should be offered in church and through loving relationships. But because it isn't found for many, this site is here.

Some people may have worried when JD was ex'd that sites like this are apostate sites and dangerous. Ray and HG and Brian and Orson and I know it is not, and never has been, and if people will take the time to join the conversation and understand, rather than just label and stay away from, then there is no need for fear with our discussions. The sincere responses given so far are great examples. And there are still many others we haven't heard from yet.

Great comments everyone. Keep the comments coming...and those who lurk like StoneGypsy are welcome to share what you see...even if you feel you need to disagree with what you read here.

Keep the comments coming.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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LookingHard
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by LookingHard » 03 Mar 2015, 09:39

Some people that come here never comment. That is fine, but I would encourage some of you that listen in to contribute on this one thread so we know what some of the lurkers are thinking. If feel like I am talking with a few dozen new friends. I don't even often think about how there are many many more just listening in.

I often wonder if there is someone on here from the church PR department to just figure out what some groups are thinking. I think it would be wise. I think they would see that we are not much more than a bunch of folks that are not trying to tear down the church, but just get along with it not being TBM's - but not the same as NOM's and not angry ex-mos.

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West
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by West » 03 Mar 2015, 12:25

I went through and read all the posts on this thread, and I wanted to emphasize this thought:
Holy Cow wrote:What brought me here was the search for people who are willing to recognize that there are troubling issues in the church, and yet aren't full of hate and anger as a result of those issues.
I found so much anger when searching for support before coming here. Anger just takes up so much energy, and in the end it is a destructive and unhealthy state. I didn't want anger. I initially ventured into this forum with the assumption that I would find anger here and the slim hope that I wouldn't. And I didn't. It was an answer to a prayer for peace of mind.

Thanks very much for this thread!
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

And God said 'Love Your Enemy,' and I obeyed him and loved myself. -Kahlil Gibran

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LookingHard
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by LookingHard » 03 Mar 2015, 12:59

West wrote:I went through and read all the posts on this thread, and I wanted to emphasize this thought:
Holy Cow wrote:What brought me here was the search for people who are willing to recognize that there are troubling issues in the church, and yet aren't full of hate and anger as a result of those issues.
I found so much anger when searching for support before coming here. Anger just takes up so much energy, and in the end it is a destructive and unhealthy state. I didn't want anger. I initially ventured into this forum with the assumption that I would find anger here and the slim hope that I wouldn't. And I didn't. It was an answer to a prayer for peace of mind.

Thanks very much for this thread!
Agreed. And then you get talked about in conference of "those that leave the church but can't leave it alone". :-)

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by hawkgrrrl » 04 Mar 2015, 08:06

- What brought you here at first?
I was here from the start with Brian and Ray, as part of the admin team.
- What keeps you coming back?
We felt the mission of this site was very important. I have always felt drawn to people who are, like me, more unorthodox and questioning.
- Why do you like to blog online?
Well, technically, StayLDS isn't a blog (since we don't do OPs here), but I do also blog. Basically, I learn a lot as I write about things.
- Has blogging changed you (good or bad)?
That's hard to say. I think blogging reveals you to yourself.

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nibbler
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by nibbler » 04 Mar 2015, 10:51

I know I'm a "regular" but I'll chime in.

* What brought you here at first?

It was a process. I was just going through the motions at church, slowly dying on the vine. I was still attending and doing what was expected of me but in a zombie like state. I was resigned to my fate. By pure chance I listened to the Saturday morning session of the October 2013 general conference (by this point I had set up limits to how much conference I'd listen to, devoting an entire weekend to conference wasn't going to happen). I was doing my typical thing, being in the room but not of the room but then Uchtdorf gave his Come, Join with Us talk. I only had half an ear dedicated to the conference but this talk reached out and grabbed me. I had never heard anything quite like it during GC.

I was already well down the path of my FC but that talk got me caring about my spirituality again. From time to time there were lulls at work so I decided to find an online forum with church members to interact with. I wasn't intending to beat the war drum, I just wanted to reconnect with the saints because I had divorced myself from them mentally a long time ago. I typed "lds forum" into google search and StayLDS came up in the results. It stood out because of the name so I tentatively joined.

I found more than I bargained for. I was just looking for church members to interact with, just something to pass time during lulls at work. I ended up receiving healing and rediscovering purpose, a path forward.

* What keeps you coming back?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KtAgAMzaeg :angel: Not that anyone shouts "nibbler!" when I walk through the door but there's something about sharing time with people with shared experiences... especially when you've spent some appreciable time alone with your experiences.

The people here add perspective. I appreciate hearing from everyone and the comments help expand my heart, might, mind and strength... and of course I achieve my original goal of filling the lulls at work with something. ;)

Another aspect, I want to pay it forward. Like I said earlier, interactions in this site either outright saved my soul or significantly shortened the time it would have otherwise taken. I can't offer much - more often than not it's going to be a simple "ditto" to what someone else said, but I hope that simple ditto can show that there's at least one more person that understands, that cares, and that would like to help in any way they can.

* Why do you like to blog online?

Well hawkgrrrl already pointed out that this is a forum, not a blog so that's already been taken care of. ;)

I think all people have a need to feel like they are understood and people seek approval. We've got to communicate in order to do that. I think StayLDS fills in some of the gaps that exist in my overall church experience. Both in creating friendships and in challenging me to grow.

* Has blogging changed you (good or bad)?

I feel like the same old me for the most part. It's helped me see where I need to change but I'm a little lazy or paralyzed, change is still on the back burner.
The wound is the place where the light enters you.
— Rumi

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Heber13
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by Heber13 » 04 Mar 2015, 13:25

Nibbler!!! Glad you're here. And also...ditto.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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richalger
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by richalger » 05 Mar 2015, 06:53

Several years ago, a friend in my ward became very upset about what they learned on the Internet about Mormonism.
http://richalger.blogspot.com/2011/02/t ... evail.html

It triggered me to look closer than I had before. I was able to process through it. This site was part of that. I knew Ray from elsewhere and his influence soothed my sensibilities. I felt safe here. I see myself as a TBM. What I truly believe in has shrunk but I hold it more dearly.

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SMiLe
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Re: Why blog at StayLDS.com?

Post by SMiLe » 05 Mar 2015, 11:21

As one of the long time lurkers, I figured I would come out of the shadows and answer a couple of these too.

- What brought you here at first?

I honestly don't remember how I found the site. I know that when my questioning / doubting started, I spent a lot of time reading apologetics on the internet. I felt like there absolutely had to be answers to my questions that would show me the TBM way was correct and that my questions were easily answerable and completely blown out of proportion. But most apologetic answers left me with a bad taste in my mouth and a feeling of "you've got to be kidding me". During one of my searches, I happened across StayLDS and started reading. Over 5 years later, I'm still lurking and reading (almost every day).

- What keeps you coming back?

I keep coming back because of all of you (regular posters and fellow lurkers alike). You are my tribe. We share things in common. We question. We doubt. We hope. We can empathize with each others suffering. We know that we are not alone in that which we have in the past or are currently going through. Knowing that I am not alone in my situation is incredibly important to me.

Probably the most important thing that keeps me coming back is the non-judgmental tone of everyone here. It's hard to imagine expressing doubts to anyone at all close to me and not feeling as if I would be judged, shunned or, worse still, viewed as a project. This is the only place that I have found that questions and doubts posed to the group are usually met with love, compassion and understanding. Kind of how I like to think the Savior would have responded.

- Why do you like to blog online?

Obviously, I don't! :)

And I'll add an additional question here that might have interesting responses if more lurkers are willing to answer it:

- Why do you lurk instead of actively participate in the conversation?

For me the answer to my question changes from time to time.

There are times that I feel like someone else will answer the question or add to the conversation better than I can.

Sometimes, I feel like all I could do is say "Ditto" (and that's Nibbler's job :D ). A "like button" would go a long way around this group, I think.

Some times, I don't post out of fear. Not necessarily fear of giving the wrong answer or that someone will disagree with me, but rather fear that my response would be personal enough that someone reading it that knew me would be able to point me out at the next Sacrament meeting and report my apostasy to the bishop. I know that it is an irrational fear, but being irrational doesn't make it less real! As an aside, that irrational fear / desire for anonymity has been along for the ride ever since I started reading here. My account handle is SMiLe. SML are my initials. I wanted to remain anonymous but still feel like I owned what I had to say the few times that I've said it. ;)

I'll end by saying, thanks for being here. From the admins to the regulars and all of the rest who contribute in any way at all, you are what makes this a great community.

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