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Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 28 Apr 2014, 05:08
by Joni
We have one every couple of years. We share our building with two other wards so it's hard for us to spend any more than our allotted time in the cultural hall.

I actually like linger longers. Despite spending three hours every Sunday with these people, I don't really know most of them. I'm in YW right now and I was in Primary before that so my interactions with adults are fairly limited.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 28 Apr 2014, 08:05
by On Own Now
I haven't been in a ward that did it for a long, long time, so my comments are hypothetical, but I would welcome it. I only go to SM currently, but I would likely (sometimes) stay for the whole block in order to have some social time. I find the social interaction to be a major factor in going to Church as it is, but as such, I only get a few minutes before/after SM, and in that's it.

I enjoy going to ward parties, but one problem that these can have is scripting. "OK, everyone, stop talking to each other while we now play an ice-breaker game." Linger Longer would be all the good and none of the bad of a ward party.

I agree with you 100% that we have too many meetings. Viewing a party (or a common meal together) as a meeting would make it seem burdensome, so, from that standpoint, I see what you are saying. But for me, if the only "meetings" in the Church were a 1-hr Sacrament Meeting every week and an occasional party or common meal together, I'd be in Heaven. I think it would be awesome if the Bishop would do the LL in LIEU of the other non-3-hr-block meetings, one Sunday a month.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 28 Apr 2014, 17:01
by Oneofmany
DarkJedi wrote:I obviously agree with you on this part. What if you were YMP or EQP? All the meetings you are supposed to be at are on Sunday mornings here.
As I said, there are exceptions to every rule. Depending on which family member. each responds differently in that regard. Personally, I am currently in an EQ presidency, we spend less than 30 minutes in meetings per week. (usually less, as in no meeting) Also, they are more amenable to meetings in the morning than afternoon and evenings.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 28 Apr 2014, 17:36
by Ann
DarkJedi wrote:
So, what do you outside the box thinkers (and outside the block) thinkers have to say about Linger Longer? Or just Sunday meetings and activities in general?
I love the idea, but in our ward it would be a madhouse as it would start a little after 2:00 and include 50 kids. There's no opportunity to linger, so people loiter during 2nd hour when they feel the need to socialize, I guess.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 28 Apr 2014, 19:30
by DarkJedi
Oneofmany wrote:
DarkJedi wrote:I obviously agree with you on this part. What if you were YMP or EQP? All the meetings you are supposed to be at are on Sunday mornings here.
As I said, there are exceptions to every rule. Depending on which family member. each responds differently in that regard. Personally, I am currently in an EQ presidency, we spend less than 30 minutes in meetings per week. (usually less, as in no meeting) Also, they are more amenable to meetings in the morning than afternoon and evenings.
What I was asking here was, if you were EQP in my ward, what would you do about Sunday meetings? As EQP you would attend PEC and ward council, both of which are held Sunday mornings.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 28 Apr 2014, 23:54
by intothelight
On Own Now wrote:I haven't been in a ward that did it for a long, long time, so my comments are hypothetical, but I would welcome it. I only go to SM currently, but I would likely (sometimes) stay for the whole block in order to have some social time. I find the social interaction to be a major factor in going to Church as it is, but as such, I only get a few minutes before/after SM, and in that's it.

I enjoy going to ward parties, but one problem that these can have is scripting. "OK, everyone, stop talking to each other while we now play an ice-breaker game." Linger Longer would be all the good and none of the bad of a ward party.

I agree with you 100% that we have too many meetings. Viewing a party (or a common meal together) as a meeting would make it seem burdensome, so, from that standpoint, I see what you are saying. But for me, if the only "meetings" in the Church were a 1-hr Sacrament Meeting every week and an occasional party or common meal together, I'd be in Heaven. I think it would be awesome if the Bishop would do the LL in LIEU of the other non-3-hr-block meetings, one Sunday a month.
I find this interesting. I also only attend SM currently. I feel that if I attend more than that, the leadership of a ward starts to get their "hooks" into me. They notice me, and begin to try and convert me. If I only go for SM, I just sort of slip in and slip out. The things I hear in SM really help me - I want to be a better person after I leave, which surely is a good thing. After priesthood, I usually feel like an unworthy piece of garbage again.

Unfortunately, for me at least - and maybe others as well - I view anything with the ward as another possibility where they can attempt to do something to manipulate me to getting to do exactly what they like. That's a huge issue that I have. The church doesn't let you go up to your knees. Once you dip a toe in the water, they attempt every means possible (albeit with good intentions) to get you to conform. Nothing else is accepted. You'll never hear, "it's OK that you don't .... we accept you as you are". OK, maybe they SAY we accept you, all I hear is words. You'll never be good enough as is until you are what they want you to be.

Could very well just be my own issues with trusting others that are causing this interpretation, but it's definitely how I feel sometimes. So I guess my answer to linger longer is I don't really like it. But I can see how others would like it.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 29 Apr 2014, 06:59
by Minyan Man
intothelight said:
I view anything with the ward as another possibility where they can attempt to do something to manipulate me to getting to do exactly what they like. That's a huge issue that I have. The church doesn't let you go up to your knees. Once you dip a toe in the water, they attempt every means possible (albeit with good intentions) to get you to conform. Nothing else is accepted.
I understand how you feel. Many of us here do.
My only advice is: don't be afraid to say NO. You don't have to feel guilty or feel you have to explain your answer.
For me, "no I can't do that" means NO. It is difficult to do. It may take practice but, it works.
There have been times when I said yes, I was set apart, the calling wasn't what I thought it was & I said I'm done.
They would try to make me feel guilty by saying "you are set apart & haven't been released". My response was, I can live with that. The calling didn't turn out as advertised.

Socializing is an important human function. In Church, at work, or in our neighborhoods. We interact. We find friends that we can relate to. We find others that we don't have anything in common with & learn to avoid. Recently I've found a member of my ward who, on the outside, has it all together. Nice family, high calling in the church, nice profession. The reality is they have big problems. Sometimes I will give him a call & we'll go out for lunch & "vent". He'll give me suggestions about what I'm going through & I'll do the same for him. We laugh. In the process, we realize that we are not alone & our conversations are confidential.

In summary, humans were designed to interact. We were meant to be social creatures.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 29 Apr 2014, 16:40
by Oneofmany
Sorry, I misunderstood.
DarkJedi wrote:What I was asking here was, if you were EQP in my ward, what would you do about Sunday meetings? As EQP you would attend PEC and ward council, both of which are held Sunday mornings.
It is interesting you should ask. I am about to find out as I recently (as in Sunday) was asked to be the next EQP. My bishop is a self proclaimed believer in the 14th article of faith, "We believe in meetings." :twisted: I hoped I would never have to make this decision (I am a blue shirt no tie wearer and I have no intention of changing.) I even tried to talk the stake president into rescinding the calling as he was making it. Telling him about some of my issues, which I do not really want to get into here as I may have just voided anonymity. (This may actually be one case where it might have been better if I hadn't found this forum.) If they can keep the meetings to a respectable length, 1 hour or so, then, I'll probably go as I do understand that there does need to be a level of coordination/discussion to run a ward. However, I, also, plan on taking a number of weekend vacations. :D I definitely will not be going to any of the firesides or linger longers. I know this doesn't answer your question, but it is the best I got as I am still trying to figure this one out for me.

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 29 Apr 2014, 19:40
by DarkJedi
I think it does answer my question. Congrats (?) on your new calling - I hope it works well for you and for your ward. I don't think your anonymity is any more voided than mine - there are 15 million Mormons out there!

Re: Linger Longer?

Posted: 30 Apr 2014, 06:24
by Meh Mormon
We had a linger longer this past Sunday. The odd part was that the food was leftovers from a funeral we had the previous Friday. :o
I thought that was a little weird, but understood that they didn't want the food to go to waste. However, as soon as my son had helped set it up, we left. I thought it was a little morbid to use the leftovers from the funeral.

Overall, I'm not a fan of linger longers, but that's because I'm a shy person and want to leave ASAP.