What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS?

Public forum for topics that don't fit into the other categories.
LDSThomas
Posts: 41
Joined: 25 Nov 2013, 14:35
Location: US

What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS?

Post by LDSThomas » 22 Jan 2014, 17:46

If you thought you knew one of the anonymous posters on staylds in real life based on some of their anonymous comments here and specifics about their life (profession, calling, family situation, mission location, whatever, etc.) would you approach them to offer a "hand of fellowship" (I hate that expression!!!!) to find out if it was, in fact, them? Would you risk the embarrassment for them or for you if you were not correct (or the potential embarrassment if you were correct?) If someone in the real world recognized you based upon anonymous things you've posted here would you want them to connect with you?

I was wondering if I knew one of the posters here based upon several posts they had made recently. (Specifics about employment, family situation, etc.) I considered whether or not it would be a good move to reach out in the real world. But, as I read more of their older posts, it became apparent it was NOT the person I thought it was. I'll admit, I was disappointed. I was a little excited that I had found (potentially) a real-life friend on staylds who was going through a very similar church experience as me based upon their posts here. At this point, I only talk to DW (but not in great specifics) about my church "situation," so having someone in the real world to talk to about it would have been a welcome relief.

(PS - I know its a big world and alot of us have similar stories, but it's not impossible that someone you or I know is here with us anonymously. Years ago, I came across an anonymous blog. After a short time, it became clear to me who the writer was. No doubt. I had served very closely with him/her in a ward several years ago, socialized together, knew the entire family, etc. I did NOT contact the person and decided to allow him/her the anonymity of the internet. They had posted some really sensitive personal info. Plus, based on the blog, we were in very different situations church-wise at the time -- which is what his/her blog was about.)

Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16832
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by Curt Sunshine » 22 Jan 2014, 18:06

I probably would do one of two things: send a Private Message saying you might know the person and asking about an aspect of their life that would identify them without them having to provide a real name (like, "Do you have a son/daughter named __________?") or talk to the person you think it might be and say something like, "I think I might have read something you wrote online. Do you participate in group discussions online?"

If the answer is, "No," nothing really risked.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

User avatar
cwald
Posts: 3628
Joined: 10 Aug 2015, 06:39

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by cwald » 22 Jan 2014, 18:28

I would love to find someone I knew on StayLDS.

I do know several folks from this board...but we didn't know each other before we joined.

I did recognize an individual on NOM a couple of weeks ago. I immediately contacted him and told him to change his avatar and delete some posts, as I was sure my family would have recognized him as well and some of the things he was saying was not meant for those people. Way too personal, and not the kind of thing family should find out from a random NOM post.
  Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn't participate enthusiastically. - Robert Kirby

User avatar
mercyngrace
Posts: 517
Joined: 18 Jan 2011, 12:26

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by mercyngrace » 22 Jan 2014, 19:48

Being the queen of subtlety, I just message folks with some of my info. Often, I use my real name in PMs. I figure if I put myself out there first, it breaks the ice. I'm facebook friends with many people I've met on various message boards which keeps life interesting because they cross a very wide spectrum of belief, from ex-mormons to apologists.

I've met several people in my stake just by putting a bit of personal info on a thread or sending a quick PMs. Someone here found me recently that way also. I've run into a fellow I taught in seminary almost 15 years ago and a couple of people I knew in college. It really is a small world.

I say reach out to the suspected StayLDSer. If you guessed right, it will be a rewarding experience. If you guessed wrong, they probably won't have a clue what you're talking about anyway.
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ~ Luke 7:47

User avatar
hawkgrrrl
Site Admin
Posts: 3533
Joined: 22 Oct 2008, 16:27

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by hawkgrrrl » 22 Jan 2014, 22:03

One of my former mission companions didn't recognize me online (she was a lurker), but she totally knew who I was when I told her. She said she had read lots of my stuff here and on NOM. I think it's pretty cool. Those are people who "get" you in a whole different way.

Ann
Posts: 2576
Joined: 09 Sep 2012, 02:17

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by Ann » 22 Jan 2014, 23:54

LDSThomas wrote:If you thought you knew one of the anonymous posters on staylds in real life based on some of their anonymous comments here and specifics about their life (profession, calling, family situation, mission location, whatever, etc.) would you approach them to offer a "hand of fellowship" (I hate that expression!!!!) to find out if it was, in fact, them? Would you risk the embarrassment for them or for you if you were not correct (or the potential embarrassment if you were correct?) If someone in the real world recognized you based upon anonymous things you've posted here would you want them to connect with you?
Yes to all three. Depending on the other person's intent, it's both my hope and fear that someone would recognize me and reach out.
"Preachers err by trying to talk people into belief; better they reveal the radiance of their own discovery." - Joseph Campbell

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Therefore they said unto him, How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said unto them, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes...." - John 9:10-11

LDSThomas
Posts: 41
Joined: 25 Nov 2013, 14:35
Location: US

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by LDSThomas » 23 Jan 2014, 08:44

Thanks for all the replys. As usual, good thoughts, good insights and good suggestions.

LDSThomas

User avatar
DarkJedi
Posts: 7219
Joined: 24 Aug 2013, 20:53

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by DarkJedi » 23 Jan 2014, 10:58

I'd go with the PM thing, myself. FWIW, I'd love to meet many of you as I feel I know some of you very well already. I'd like to have the opportunity to sit down for lunch or at a coffee bar (I wouldn't drink coffee, but you could) and just talk about things. I love this site because we can be open and honest, and while I do enjoy the anonymity here, I wouldn't necessarily feel the need to be anonymous with someone who also had doubts and with whom I could be open and honest about my feelings and thoughts in real life. No offense to anyone here or to the nature of the forums - this place is my refuge - but to have someone to sit with me and just chat realtime, face-to-face, would be so much better.

Note: There's no contradiction in statements in the above - I prefer to be anonymous here only because anyone could read this and we really never know who is reading. I would prefer my stake president and bishop, for instance, don't know my doubts and questions. One-to-one in real life is a different setting all together.
In the absence of knowledge or faith there is always hope.

Once there was a gentile...who came before Hillel. He said "Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot." Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it."

My Introduction

Roadrunner
Posts: 890
Joined: 25 Sep 2012, 15:17

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by Roadrunner » 23 Jan 2014, 13:23

In the last 6 days, I've had remarkably open conversations with two people in my stake about church history and doctrine. Both knew the details about polyandry, polygamy, blacks and the priesthood, and other unsavory aspects of our history. One came right out and said JS instituted polygamy because he had an overactive sex drive and an overactive sense of self-importance. The other predicted women as priesthood holders and gay marriage sealings in the temple in the next 20-30 years.

I had thought both were TBMs. Both are BYU graduates, one is a counselor in a bishopric and one is a young men president.

While I don't think either is a "member' of staylds it certainly sounds like they could be. It makes me wonder how many of us and our brethren are out there.

User avatar
amertune
Posts: 38
Joined: 25 Feb 2011, 15:27

Re: What would you do if you "recognized" someone on StayLDS

Post by amertune » 23 Jan 2014, 16:27

I'm not trying very hard to be anonymous, and I wouldn't really mind openly discussing things IRL with somebody who is open to discussing things.

If I recognized a friend/family member/somebody I liked here, I'd send them a PM to verify it's them and I'd be pleased to make that sort of IRL connection.
The search for truth is in one way hard and in another way easy, for it is evident that no one can master it fully or miss it wholly. But each adds a little to our knowledge of nature, and from all the facts assembled there arises a certain grandeur. - Aristotle

Post Reply