How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

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hawkgrrrl
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by hawkgrrrl » 26 Aug 2014, 21:00

mercyngrace wrote:
hawkgrrrl wrote:If you are authentic and make comments that aren't the standard answers, they will come to you, I swear.
Until your comments make people uncomfortable. Then they will crucify you.
Oh, the baddies will find you too, but so will the allies.

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SamBee
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by SamBee » 27 Aug 2014, 05:08

Call canny.
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

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mercyngrace
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by mercyngrace » 27 Aug 2014, 13:50

hawkgrrrl wrote:
mercyngrace wrote:
hawkgrrrl wrote:If you are authentic and make comments that aren't the standard answers, they will come to you, I swear.
Until your comments make people uncomfortable. Then they will crucify you.
Oh, the baddies will find you too, but so will the allies.
That's my experience, too. I'm finding a few like minded people but I'm discovering that some people are a lot more rigid than I thought. Things started getting bad for me after the last GC in reaction to Ordain Women. It's not like I have a profile up or even really have strong feelings one way or the other - it's the subtle marginalizing by comments in class or in talks that leaves me feeling like the walls are shrinking. And when I speak up, I feel even more outside of the "tribe" because I know in some people's eyes it aligns me with the very people they think are bad for the church. It's one thing to be called an apostate online by a stranger who doesn't even know me, quite another for a ward member to use that descriptor as a form of social control.

The tight knit culture of the church is a double edged sword.
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ~ Luke 7:47

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mom3
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by mom3 » 27 Aug 2014, 15:17

Mercyngrace - I hear you, loud and clear, the comments are subtle but the message is there.
"I stayed because it was God and Jesus Christ that I wanted to follow and be like, not individual human beings." Chieko Okazaki Dialogue interview

"I am coming to envision a new persona for the Church as humble followers of Jesus Christ....Joseph and his early followers came forth with lots of triumphalist rhetoric, but I think we need a new voice, one of humility, friendship and service. We should teach people to believe in God because it will soften their hearts and make them more willing to serve." - Richard Bushman

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SilentDawning
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by SilentDawning » 27 Aug 2014, 18:40

DarkJedi wrote:Oh, and the facial hair/shirt color thing? Two of our high councilors and a bishop in a neighboring ward have facial hair, and anywhere from a third to a half of the high council wear the same colored shirt they wore to work to HC meeting. Not an indicator here.
Where I live, it's a huge flag. No one wears a colored shirt at church.
"It doesn't have to be about the Church (church) all the time!" -- SD

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

A man asked Jesus "do all roads lead to you?" Jesus responds,”most roads don’t lead anywhere, but I will travel any road to find you.” Adapted from The Shack, William Young

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MockingJay
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by MockingJay » 28 Aug 2014, 06:39

I'm glad to see this post got bumped, and since I posted it in Jan., I'll give an update.

The guy I mentioned in the OP has since completely left the church. He "came out" a few months ago. He's an atheist and is actively involved with a local atheist group. IMO, one mistake he made was in trying to convert members (including his missionary parents) to his point of view. Anyway, now he's a "project" and everyone talks about him and treats him like a pariah. I tell people that he's the same person he's always been, he just has a different belief system. That doesn't work. He's been judged and sentence has been passed. It's hard for his wife, who is trying hard to stay active. He'd rather she didn't stay in the church or raise their kids in it, but she wants to stay. It's interesting that she knows all the things he knows, but it hasn't affected her faith.

So, having said the above, he's not much of an ally for me. I've been using the tools you've all so graciously given me, but no luck so far. Honestly, it's common for people around here to wear colored shirts to church (including DH), or for women to wear pants. No one thinks all that much of it. I know a few who do and I'm pretty convinced they're orthodox.

I agree with the comments on stereotyping. I'm sure EVERYONE at church thinks I'm orthodox because I'm very good at playing the game. I guess that's why I asked the question in the first place. If I can get away with it, anyone can. I've only recently started making little comments to people I trust about my "open-mindedness." I was waiting until after my son's temple wedding, because I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize being there. It's interesting because he and his new wife are very unorthodox, but they don't know about me yet. Anyway, the reaction to my few comments have been mixed. The good news is that I'm settling into a faith and belief paradigm that's working for me. I'd love to have others here to share in that with. I'll keep looking.

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