How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

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MockingJay
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How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by MockingJay » 11 Jan 2014, 07:17

I have 2 questions, but first, I was daydreaming earlier about how awesome it would be to have an actual physical, brick and mortar "StayLds" ward. Aaaahhhhhh ;) Oh well, one can dream.

Now the questions:
1. Do any of you have a way of recognizing others in your wards/stakes who may share the same feelings/attitudes as those on this site? All I'm aware of are people who are bitter and angry and hate the church, and there are plenty of those. I'm not interested in talking to them.

2. I do know of one guy in our ward who is doubting and has questions, but he doesn't know I know (someone spilled the beans to me.) I want to tell him about this site, but I don't know how to go about it since he doesn't know I know and the only one who knows about me is my husband. Wow, hope that sentence makes sense.

startpoor
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by startpoor » 11 Jan 2014, 09:53

I have been doing just that since moving into my new ward. I have never watched people as closely as I do now. I don't know if anyone is actually part of staylds.com, but I slowly get a feel for those who may be feminists, or liberal, or well-read. I once heard my GD teacher say he had struggles with his testimony while researching history for certain lessons. I asked him about it later and it opened up the door for some very open candid discussions like the ones that go on here. I teach EQ so I listen to people's comments and try and strike up conversations afterward, without being overt about it. It is nice to have people to talk to about these things face to face. I recently found out there is a book club that members of the stake are in. It seems to be invite only and is a small group, but after talking to my dad about it, he said there is a club like that in his stake too. It made me wonder if there are clubs like this in many more stakes across the country. Keep looking, you may find some people to talk to after all.
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Daeruin
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by Daeruin » 11 Jan 2014, 10:48

Just going off comments I've read here, you might watch for people who read their own material during the meetings, skip certain meetings, or attend irregularly.
"Not all those who wander are lost" —Tolkien

Ann
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by Ann » 12 Jan 2014, 00:14

One of my resolutions this year is to be a little more forthcoming and authentic at church. Up to the present, I think I've been absolutely un-spottable. So, don't assume too much, I guess I'm saying, based on appearances or patterns of behavior.

If we here were a real ward, there would still be friction, divergence, etc. But I would love the chance to say hello and thank you.
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MockingJay
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by MockingJay » 12 Jan 2014, 06:05

Thanks for your suggestions. I'll give them a try and report back.
If we here were a real ward, there would still be friction, divergence, etc. But I would love the chance to say hello and thank you.
I agree with this. It's true in any group, but at least we could be frank and open and not have to worry about being judged or ostracized. Maybe the church will move toward that someday. I tiny, tiny steps that way on rare occasions.

I would also love the chance to say thank you face-to-face.

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mercyngrace
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by mercyngrace » 12 Jan 2014, 06:40

I would love the chance to meet everyone, too. Is there a chance any of you are in North Carolina?
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. ~ Luke 7:47

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DarkJedi
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by DarkJedi » 12 Jan 2014, 08:20

Like richdunn, I've learned to watch and listen to people. It's really interesting sometimes to hear what people don't say. I think there are actually many more people in my ward who questions and doubt, both active and not, than I ever would have thought a few years ago. I've also found that for the most part these people try to stay off the radar for whatever reason (but mostly I think they're ashamed or fearful because they think they're supposed to believe). I wonder if we could develop a sort of "gaydar?"
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Brian Johnston
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by Brian Johnston » 13 Jan 2014, 07:07

I used to make a hobby of this, and found quite a few people. It takes a certain amount of social risk, but it was far easier for others to open up when I was putting myself "out there" first. People knew I wasn't conventional, and I was always open about why my wife wasn't ever there (she left the church because she disagreed with history and doctrine, and that I supported her decision for herself).

I would make the unconventional comments in class, or point out the obvious paradoxes in the ideas being discussed in order to make the conversation go a little deeper. I would bring up outside view points when I taught classes (used to love teaching EQ and occasionally sub for Gospel Doctrine). People would find me later to talk more about those things. Or they would thank me for speaking up and saying what they wanted to say. NOTE: I didn't do that stuff all the time, and I always made sure to balance what I did with positive and uplifting comments. I tried hard to not be disruptive. It's important not to be argumentative. I would usually just throw something out there, and then back off to let people react and resolve the issues however they wanted.

Other than that, these were my radar signs:
-Guys who wouldn't wear ties and a white shirt.
-People who sat quietly in the back of the class and didn't participate much, but you could see them getting agitated at times.
-People who bring supplemental material to read in Sacrament Meeting or classes.
-People who raise questions about the lesson material that showed they really were thinking about things farther down the logical tree of implications.
-Part-member families, or people who aren't in traditional 1950's nuclear family arrangements.
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SamBee
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Re: How to Spot Possible Members of the "StayLds Ward?"

Post by SamBee » 14 Jan 2014, 05:36

With the men it's easy... beards, long hair, and blue shirts. That and the VW badges hanging around their necks.

We also have secret special handshakes, but only the initiated get to receive those. (You know that room off the temple canteen no one goes into? that's where we meet lol)

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cwald
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Post by cwald » 15 Jan 2014, 22:01

Blue shirts.

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