These were the first planks I re-designed when I "came to myself" and realized that my perceptions of reality were likely to be woefully incomplete and/or defective.Roy wrote: ↑02 Dec 2013, 12:40Everyone has assumptive worlds. The three most basic assumptions are that the world is good/just, that life has meaning, and that the individual is deserving or worthy. Without these assumptions there is pure nihilism. The world is just random occurrences, nobody and nothing matters.
These assumptions transcend religious belief, but religious belief may be built upon and reinforced by these assumptions. Mormonism in particular seems to be tied to these basic assumptions. Again, I believe that there are limitations in the choices we make in our assumptive realities. I don't just decide that the world is a generally good/just place, or that there is meaning in my life, or that I am worthy - any more than I decide that it is cold outside - these things are felt based upon our experiences.
a. "The world is good/just" - I now view the world as neutral with elements of good and bad involved. I understand for myself that the world is less good/just for people of similar brain wiring, and that the choice is mine to work harder/smarter to compensate for an unkind/unjust world.
b. "Life has meaning" - I now view life as having as much meaning as gets ascribed to it. I am only qualified to define if aspects/choices of and in my life have meaning - and whether I can assign some meaning to it by my actions. For example, I deliberately chose to phrase what I do in my job as "I get the chance to help others" instead of "I talk to confused frustrated people all day who would love to take it out on me if possible (by accident... I think)". This brings more meaning to how I spend 40 hours of my life. In everything that has meaning to me, I did something to start the ball rolling and/or made choices that made that meaning possible.
c. "the individual is deserving/worthy" - I now view individuals as innately being and having the right to do so. "Deserving" or "Worthy" are external constructs based on circumstances. Everything else falls under Article of Faith #11.
NOTE: There are going to be times of extreme stress where an individual becomes "emotionally compromised" to quote Spock. It is honorable for a person to recognize that and take that into account when making decisions. It is more honorable for those around that individual to recognize that and take it into account when interacting with that individual and/or advocating on their behalf.
NOTE 2: Sometimes we have to talk ourselves into believing and acting on our own self worth. I HAD to believe that there was a job out there for me with my name on it - that I was worthy of that consequence in order to have the motivation to go out and get it.
I did not see mine coming, and when I try to explain it to others to give them a form of reference, it sounds really lame. I think that others can and will make a case that it was a person seeking a way out.... and that is their right to do so. I believe I made the best choices possible under the circumstances I found myself in.
I do describe my world view collapse as "coming into myself" like the Prodigal Son because my perception of everything shifted. I believe that it shifted for the good and/or that it can and will be for my good if I perceive it as a good thing and make better, more informed choices because of it.
Agree. I teasingly tell my husband that I am literally 1 in a million now - between a host of unique circumstances that me me who I am. Since I am such a rare bird, it is unrealistic to expect that they would off the cuff have the insights and resources to deal well with me. The great thing is, that they can develop/use the tools of Charity, Empathy, and Developmental Insights they have to work with me to build a bridge towards that understanding. The other great thing is I know that it would be a bigger challenge then expected, so I can make additional allowances and start the bridge earlier (and give pointers on how it works with me).Roy wrote: ↑02 Dec 2013, 12:40I do not believe that many Mormon Church leaders are capable of understanding where I am coming from. They do not have the vocabulary or the flexibility within their own framework to frame my journey as I do.Roy wrote:Sometimes something happens that is so powerful as to challenge all previous assumptions.
As spokesmen for a particular brand of assumptive reality it is somewhat the job of Mormon Church leaders to suggest that some assumptions should NEVER be challenged. I'm ok with that, I'm just somewhat aware that my experiences place me somewhat outside of the boundaries of their worldview.
My "worthiness" is tied to my behavior in response to a specific set of constructs. However, because I am, I have worth. Because I have worth, I need to build on that and make the best choices possible following my personal path instead of being stagnant. It really is the grace vs works conundrum. I am "worth" a good marriage companion because I practice good marriage companion principles (made a smart choice spouse-wise) and make choices in line with those expectations and responsibilities. If my marriage gets to a point where my husband feels I am not doing my part in that situation, or we have changed too much for that cost-benefit analysis to generate that result, then we decide if it is "worth" it to go back to the drawing board, or move on.Roy wrote: ↑02 Dec 2013, 12:40They frame me as “struggling” or “losing testimony” or “confused.” I try to present myself in as harmless a way as possible so that I am not labeled as apostate or wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I feel that my experience jarred me out of the boundaries or the common Mormon worldview. We used to be on the “same page” but now we are using different books.
My worthiness is no longer tied to my behavior. My life’s meaning is no longer to test my obedience. The good and the bad that happens in my life is no longer related to my being deserving/the hand of God. I am not striving for the carrot nor trying to avoid the stick. I am to them a conundrum.
Ultimately, I get to determine the inspiration/revelation/integrity of being "worthy" of a temple recommend if I want to go to the temple. The representatives are there to assist in the process and give some questions that can provide opportunities for introspection PRIOR to sitting at the chair in front of said representatives. They get to decide based on what I tell them, what others tell them, and the vibes given in the situation on whether they agree with what I feel God means in that situation.