This is really sad. That is just setting women up for abusive situations. I have heard a beaten woman say it was her fault she was beaten because she didn't do XYZ (house was not clean enough, not providing sex enough, not slim enough) ?Dax wrote:In my experience it has also been the woman that is judged and monitored in the church not the man. I have seen entire wards shun the women of the divorce equation while simply giving the guy a pass on his affairs. I'm sure it is not every ward as on our own mentioned. I think perhaps the emphasis on the failure is attached to the women because in our church and culture, family and home are one of the few places women have any "set role" to play. The failure is seen as her not being spiritual enough to warrant God's blessings in keeping the home together. I have heard several of my divorced female friends lament that "if only they were more righteous and followed the commandment better Gid would have blessed their marriages." It's the women I hear say this not the men. Some have even been told that by their bishops. So I guess it's back to the priesthood roulette game.
I have been reading askgramps lately and was really impressed with the compassionate, honest and direct answers I saw him giving. That was until a lady wrote in about her husband leaving her and he told her (in a nutshell) that she should look at what she had done wrong, he was not at fault. How he could glean that from the information posted is a mystery. I stopped reading after that.
I don't think this is something I will come out from. I can't unsee and unhear and I can't justify the actions of people in these situations. That is why it is so hard to stay active. The gospel is not abut this, it is just the people that are supposed to follow the gospel.