How to act like a grown up

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Skepti-Cal
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How to act like a grown up

Post by Skepti-Cal » 14 Apr 2009, 18:40

I would be interested in others inputs on this list. It is a set of contrasts between immature and mature behavior.

I originally wrote it to help give my eldest child some perspective.
Everyone is on a continuum, of course - even "mature" adults don't always act like grown ups, including me.

But I think it is helpful, especially to a late teen/young adult to consider these type of contrasts since they desire so much to be treated more like an adult than a juvenile.

Juvenile: avoids responsibility
Grown-up: takes responsibility

Juvenile: leaves messes
Grown-up: cleans up after themselves

Juvenile: waits to be asked to help
Grown-up: Asks: "what can I do to help"

Juvenile: looks to fault others for problems
Grown-up: looks to see how she can solve her own problems

Juvenile: does the minimum or less
Grown-up: does what is needed, usually more

Juvenile: Mooches
Grown-up: Pays their own way

Juvenile: play first, work after
Grown-up: work first, play after

Juvenile: wants to be understood
Grown-up: seeks to understand

Juvenile: considers what *they* want
Grown-up: considers consequences, impact on others

Juvenile: wants respect
Grown-up: earns respect

Juvenile: expects to be taken care of
Grown-up: takes care of others

Juvenile: sees parents as hypocrits and inhibitors
Grown-up: appreciates difficulty of parenting seeks wisdom from their experiece
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
--George Bernard Shaw

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Brian Johnston
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Brian Johnston » 14 Apr 2009, 19:49

Skepti-Cal wrote: Juvenile: wants to be understood
Grown-up: seeks to understand
I think that one applies a lot to our journey here. Many of us initially just want to explode, desperately wanting to be understood and acknowledged by people in our church and family circles. It creates a lot of frustration.

It seems to me that people who come to peace are the ones who seek understanding. They lose their attachment and expectation of being understood. That takes a lot of internal strength and maturity.
"It's strange to be here. The mystery never leaves you alone." -John O'Donohue, Anam Cara, speaking of experiencing life.

Curt Sunshine
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Curt Sunshine » 14 Apr 2009, 20:23

That is an excellent list.

Thanks.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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Tom Haws
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Tom Haws » 15 Apr 2009, 14:30

I love that list! I am going to put it on my fridge with one deletion.
Skepti-Cal wrote:Juvenile: Mooches
Grown-up: Pays their own way
Are we not all beggars? Do we not all mooch continually? Consider the lilies of the field and the birds in the sky.

Fine line. The disciples of Jesus pull infinitely more than their own weight in the big scheme of things. But they also rely on the mercies of God and the world for their daily bread.

But again, I love that list!
Tom (aka Justin Martyr/Justin Morning/Jacob Marley/Kupord Maizzed)
Higley and Guadalupe
Gilbert, Arizona
----
Sure, any religion would do. But I'm LDS.
"There are no academic issues. Everything is emotional to somebody." Ray Degraw at www.StayLDS.com

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Skepti-Cal
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Skepti-Cal » 16 Apr 2009, 23:27

Any ideas for additions to the list?
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
--George Bernard Shaw

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Heber13
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Heber13 » 22 Apr 2009, 22:06

Great List!!

How about this attempt for an addition:

Juvenile: Thinks his/her problems are worse than what anyone else is going through ("Why me?")
Adult: Realizes his/her problems could have been worse ("At least I'm not Job!")
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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Tom Haws
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Tom Haws » 23 Apr 2009, 07:37

I like it, Heber13!
Tom (aka Justin Martyr/Justin Morning/Jacob Marley/Kupord Maizzed)
Higley and Guadalupe
Gilbert, Arizona
----
Sure, any religion would do. But I'm LDS.
"There are no academic issues. Everything is emotional to somebody." Ray Degraw at www.StayLDS.com

AmyJ
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by AmyJ » 16 Mar 2018, 13:01

Sorry it took a while...

Juvenile: Expects everyone's view to match that individual's. Throws a fit when the views of others don't match that individual's.
Grown-Up: Expects no one's view to match that individual's. Shrugs and/or feels validated when the views of others happen to match that individual's.

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dande48
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by dande48 » 16 Mar 2018, 13:33

Juvenile: Acts really moody and sometimes throws a fit when they're tired or hungry.
Grownup: Acts really moody and sometimes throws a fit when they're tired or hungry.

Juvenile: Thinks they always know what's best.
Grownup: Thinks they always know what's best.

Juvenile: Looks down on those of a younger generation.
Grownup: Looks down on those of a younger generation.

Juvenile: Tries to act like a grownup, but doesn't really understand what that means.
Grownup: Tries to act like a grownup, but doesn't really understand what that means.

People don't grow up. They just grow old.
"The whole world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
-Lemony Snicket

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Beefster
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Re: How to act like a grown up

Post by Beefster » 16 Mar 2018, 18:01

That's a really interesting observation, dande. I think sometimes people see adulthood as this higher plane of existence when it really is just a time in your life when you have more responsibilites and have gained wisdom through experience. There was never a switch that flipped in my head that said "you're an adult now". When I turned 18, I felt no different. Same when I turned 21. I don't really feel all that grown up; I just have more responsibilities now. Granted, I'm only 25, but I've also come to realize that once you graduate from college, age is pretty much irrelevant.
Boys are governed by rules. Men are governed by principles.

Often I hear doubt being presented as the opposite of faith but I think certainty does a better job of filling that role. Doubts can help faith grow, certainty almost always makes faith shrink. --nibbler

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