Joke of the Day

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Heber13
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Joke of the Day

Post by Heber13 » 20 Oct 2010, 12:27

I'm sure many have heard this before, but I found it worth sharing...

A bus loaded with tourists suffered a tragic accident and all on the bus were instantly killed.

They all go up to heaven as a group and St. Peter greets them at the gate.

"Welcome to heaven all of you. Let me show you around."

St. Peter takes the group around heaven and they first pass a beautiful synagogue full of people dancing and singing in Hebrew.

One tourist asks what that is all about...St.Peter says, "Oh those are our Jewish residents."

The group then passes another building with lots of Gregorian chants and latin speaking, and so St.Peter tells the group, "Here you find a Catholic group of citizens of heaven."

They go on passing numerous different buildings with different groups of people, all happy and doing their thing.

Then, St.Peter stops the group...gathers them close by, and says, "Shhhh....Please, please, please...we must now be silent and tiptoe until I instruct you further."

So the group quietly proceeds, as they pass a nice church building with singing and sounds of sermons and happy people doing their thing.

When they pass, St. Peter says, "OK, we can move ahead now, no silence is needed any longer."

One tourist stops St. Peter, "Wait, wait. What was that all about?"

St. Peter responds, "Oh that. Well, that last church was the mormon church...we always pass by there quietly... they think they are the only ones up here."
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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Brian Johnston
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Brian Johnston » 20 Oct 2010, 13:44

ROFL! Good one.
"It's strange to be here. The mystery never leaves you alone." -John O'Donohue, Anam Cara, speaking of experiencing life.

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Curt Sunshine » 20 Oct 2010, 20:05

I heard it as separate cities - and it included cities for both the Mormons and the Baptists. I heard it from a Baptist friend.
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

Curt Sunshine
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Curt Sunshine » 20 Oct 2010, 20:06

Let's go ahead and make this a thread to share multiple jokes that relate to religion, in general, and Mormonism, in particular.

Here's one I heard on the radio today:
If heat rises, won't Heaven be WAY hotter than Hell?
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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bridget_night
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by bridget_night » 21 Oct 2010, 05:07

Funny Heber, Makes me think of a joke my Danish friend gave at a Zone conference in Copenhagen. It goes:

A missionary who had gone to South America died and went to the pearly gates and St. Peter asked him where he had served his mission and how many baptism he had. He said Brazil and I had over 300 baptism. St. Peter says, well then you go down to the bad place. The missionary was shocked. Just then another missionary came up and was asked the same questions. He said he had served in Denmark and had only 1 baptism. St. Peter said, "Well done, you go straight to heaven. Come right in and the elder walked in." The missionary from Brazil was very upset and said, "How can this be when I had so many baptisms and he only had one." St. Peter said, "He's already been to hell. Now its your turn." Having served in Austria and our mission goal was one baptism a year, I loved this.

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Bruce in Montana
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Bruce in Montana » 26 Oct 2010, 11:51

An oldie:

A cardinal told the Pope that he had good news and bad news.
"So, what's the good news?" asked the Pope.
"We just received a call from Jesus. He's here on the Earth. The second coming has arrived".
"That's wonderful", said the Pope...."What's the bad news?"
"He was calling from Salt Lake".
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
-William S.

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silentstruggle
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by silentstruggle » 26 Oct 2010, 19:52

Did you hear the one about the cannibals who ate some missionaries?

The next day, they had an ecumenical movement.

Cnsl1
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Cnsl1 » 26 Oct 2010, 22:57

Not really a joke, but I always think it's really funny when I hear these kinds of words within a closing prayer after an activity: "...and please bless the refreshments that they might nourish and strengthen our bodies," right before we consume the sugar-filled, fat-laden, calorie-conjested double chocolate frosted brownies.

A whole lot of nourishment going on, I tell ya.

Another one I heard recently again and hadn't in a long time: The only difference between a Mormon and a Jack Mormon is the temperature of their caffeine.

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Heber13
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Heber13 » 28 Oct 2010, 10:14

These are good ones...keep 'em coming. Its always good to keep a sense of humor, I think.

So, another good classic one:
Wendy Ulrich wrote:In the Catholic church everyone says the pope is infallible but nobody believes it; and in the Mormon church everybody says the prophet is fallible but nobody believes it.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 16069
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Curt Sunshine » 29 Mar 2011, 15:10

This isn't a joke, but I LOVE this site - and the idea of LOL cats conducting General Conference is hilarious to me:

("LOL Cats General Conference") http://www.myregisblog.com/2011/03/lol- ... rence.html
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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