Joke of the Day

Public forum for topics that don't fit into the other categories.
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Reuben
Posts: 393
Joined: 05 Nov 2016, 10:04

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Reuben » 24 Apr 2017, 04:50

That's awesome, nibbler. I'm still laughing as I type this.
My intro

Love before dogma. Truth before loyalty. Knowledge before certainty.

Curt Sunshine
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Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Curt Sunshine » 24 Apr 2017, 20:36

:lol: :clap: :lol: :clap: :lol: :clap:
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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SamBee
Posts: 4330
Joined: 14 Mar 2010, 04:55

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by SamBee » 31 Jul 2017, 11:24

I've noticed that Family Search has an "Add Wife" function on it. I've clicked it several times, but haven't even had a date yet, what gives?
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

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Heber13
Posts: 6549
Joined: 22 Apr 2009, 16:37
Location: In the Middle

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Heber13 » 31 Jul 2017, 13:26

SamBee wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 11:24
I've noticed that Family Search has an "Add Wife" function on it. I've clicked it several times, but haven't even had a date yet, what gives?
:lol:

Another question...I'm already married...why is the "Add Wife" button still there?
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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LookingHard
Posts: 2634
Joined: 20 Oct 2014, 12:11

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by LookingHard » 31 Jul 2017, 14:57

Heber13 wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 13:26
SamBee wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 11:24
I've noticed that Family Search has an "Add Wife" function on it. I've clicked it several times, but haven't even had a date yet, what gives?
:lol:

Another question...I'm already married...why is the "Add Wife" button still there?
Heber - I think if you click it, it will email your wife indicating that you clicked the button. I would think twice before doing that.
:D

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Heber13
Posts: 6549
Joined: 22 Apr 2009, 16:37
Location: In the Middle

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Heber13 » 31 Jul 2017, 15:13

LookingHard wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 14:57
Heber13 wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 13:26
SamBee wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 11:24
I've noticed that Family Search has an "Add Wife" function on it. I've clicked it several times, but haven't even had a date yet, what gives?
:lol:

Another question...I'm already married...why is the "Add Wife" button still there?
Heber - I think if you click it, it will email your wife indicating that you clicked the button. I would think twice before doing that.
:D
Hopefully the message to my wife doesn't include anything about flaming swords. I best not try it out.
Luke: "Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to...depend greatly on our point of view."

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nibbler
Posts: 3239
Joined: 14 Nov 2013, 07:34
Location: Ten miles west of the exact centre of the universe

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by nibbler » 31 Jul 2017, 16:32

Heber13 wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 13:26
Another question...I'm already married...why is the "Add Wife" button still there?
To save precious disk space the church only programed their software to use two digits for the year when storing dates in their database. They never patched their family search server with the Y19C updates. It's still operating on the pre-OD1 software.
Of course I don’t want to get knocked down. But the single and sole solution to that fear is to not go anywhere where I can be knocked down. And is that not already being knocked down?
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

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SamBee
Posts: 4330
Joined: 14 Mar 2010, 04:55

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by SamBee » 01 Aug 2017, 08:05

Heber13 wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 13:26
SamBee wrote:
31 Jul 2017, 11:24
I've noticed that Family Search has an "Add Wife" function on it. I've clicked it several times, but haven't even had a date yet, what gives?
:lol:

Another question...I'm already married...why is the "Add Wife" button still there?
We have to keep up Mormon stereotypes don't we?
DASH1730 "An Area Authority...[was] asked...who...would go to the Telestial kingdom. His answer: "murderers, adulterers and a lot of surprised Mormons!"'
1ST PRES 1978 "[LDS] believe...there is truth in many religions and philosophies...good and great religious leaders... have raised the spiritual, moral, and ethical awareness of their people. When we speak of The [LDS] as the only true church...it is...authorized to administer the ordinances...by Jesus Christ... we do not mean... it is the only teacher of truth."

Curt Sunshine
Site Admin
Posts: 15415
Joined: 21 Oct 2008, 20:24

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Curt Sunshine » 27 Sep 2017, 19:33

This isn't a joke, but it is hilarious --- gut-bustingly funny because it is true:

Jared Kushner, Donald Trump's son-in-law and nepotistic advisor, has been registered to vote for the last eight years as . . . wait for it . . .

a woman.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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gospeltangents
Posts: 144
Joined: 10 Jul 2017, 22:50
Location: Utah
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Day

Post by gospeltangents » 28 Sep 2017, 12:20

If Trump got the fraudulent voters off the rolls, half his cabinet would be in jail. (Oh wait, I think that's going to happen anyway!)
See my latest interviews on Mormon History, Science & Theology at www.gospeltangents.com

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