I can give you what I have done. It is a work in progress and your mileage may vary.
I can’t keep paying tithing to the extent I have been and I don’t think I can continue with garments. I would feel too much that I was faking it.
I seek for sustainability in my church participation. For me personally 10% of gross is not sustainable for my new relationship with the church. Garments for me is easier - I am used to them and they help me to communicate solidarity with my wife. I think of it as similar to a wedding ring. (FYI, when I went to the distribution center to buy more G's I told them I did not hold a TR and they had no problem with my purchase)
I want to continue as a member and raise my kids in the church but explain to them ( when appropriate ) what I believe but let them have choices.
For me, this has taken the form of exposing my kids to people and groups that may have different beliefs but are still good. When they ask me questions about heaven and such I tend to respond that "Our church" teaches XYZ and others believe YZX or ZYX. My favorite moment was when my daughter said, "I believe X is what happens" and it wasn't among any of the options that I listed. I told her that sounded like a wonderful belief. When the kids were younger we participated pretty heavily in other area Christian churches. We now do this much less now as my children are moving into YM and YW and that takes up more of our time
I plan to baptize my children who haven’t been yet. I figure if I am wrong and the church is true, I still have authority to baptize them and if it isn’t, well, I have as much authority to baptize as anyone else in the church. I want to be a follower of Christ and baptism is a great symbol and commitment.
I have been fortunate to baptize my children without holding a TR and without paying tithing. Part of this comes from how you manage your faith transition with the ward and the bishop and part of it comes down to "leadership roulette". The handbook says that a priesthood holder may perform the ordinance and not be "temple worthy" but ultimately it is up to the bishop's discretion.
I’m worried that raising them with one foot in and one foot out, they will use it as a excuse to not follow the church teachings that are good. I’m hoping that as long as I live those standards, they will also want to even if they know I don’t believe in church origins.
There are no guarantees. If you hold your children too close they may rebel. If you give them too much freedom they may get into trouble. For me and my house, I try to emphasize practical and moral reasoning for doing things. My hope is that if they ever stop believing in God or Sin or the Ten Commandments then they will still have lots of reasons for living in a moral and responsible way.
Rich70 wrote: ↑
02 Jan 2019, 11:01
My thoughts are that younger children benefit from simple rules with less ambiguity but as they start to think more and have questions, I want them to understand enough church history so they can form their own beliefs based on a much more complete picture.
My approach has been to answer questions to the best of my ability being open and honest that I do not have all the answers. My children know that this is our church, our tradition and our heritage and that we believe that there is value in having a church, a tradition, and a heritage. I do not (as a general rule) answer questions that have not been asked or introduce troubling aspects of church history, culture, or practice unsolicited.
DW and I served missions. My children are saving towards college and/or missions. We are presenting church missionary service every bit as optional for my son as it is for my daughter. It helps that DW and I do not view continued participation in the LDS church as a requirement for eternal families. That helps to remove much of the anxiety and fear associated with the kids not checking all the church boxes as they grow up but being otherwise good people.
I hope that helps.